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Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:02:32 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not feeling very creative this afternoon, so i didn't come up with a title.

Anyway, i wrote down this question last night while waiting for sleep to take me, and i didn't want to forget it; because in my own opinion, it's a pretty good question.

Is it odd for a submissive female/male to feel weird about seeing a person of the opposite sex submit?

THe same goes for dominant male/females. Is it odd to feel weird when they see someone of the opposite sex be dominant.

Note: this isn't how i'm feeling, just a general question i would like some feedback on.
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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:08:59 PM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		I don't know about odd, but I personally find no arousal value in watching a male submit.


Brat


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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:09:22 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Seeing it, nope not for me.............. as long as it's a willing submission.


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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:13:18 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		It's not weird for me to see either of the above. At one time I had a preconcieved notion that was ingrained by the enviroment I grew up in, that all men were supposed to be dominant and all women submissive. Now I see it as an individual thing rather than gender. While I find both submissive and dominant women sexy sometimes, I also see a very few dominant men that make me stop and go hmmmmmmmmm, and I find some submissive men quite endearing. For me BDSM roles are not determined at all by a persons sex but by the very nature of the person they are. 

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:27:41 PM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		I don't find either odd.  It is lovely to see people content in being themselves and I enjoy seeing a special connection between a couple or poly group be they female, male, dom or sub.

Oumae

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Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:38:04 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		I guess because we're pan-gendered here, it makes sense to me that individuals across the whole spectrum may self-validate through either submission or dominance. I don't find it strange in the least, and have no problem accepting submission from any gender orientation as a servant, or working with any gender orientation as a co-existing dominant individual.

ZWD

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:49:47 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I makes absolutely no difference to Me what the gender is, as long as I can see that the person is being honest and true (there is that word true!) to their own predilictions.
What does make Me uncomfortable is when I see people being Dominant or submissive in order to feed a personal agenda.  Examples:  The boy or girl who want to runaway from the world and be safe, so s/he trades his/her potential for a perceived safe life, or the Lady who is trying to be Dominant at the instigation of a male partner, or the Male Dominant who struts around like a proud peacock in an attempt to negate his own insecurities.
Interesting question and I will be reading to see how others answer this, as I find there are some who have a problem dealing with their own gender being in the opposite camp. 
 

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 1:55:56 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I have no problem with fellow Dominants of either gender so long as a) they are living upto the lable and b) not trying to Dom me else I tend to upset them by laughing at them.

Seeing a male genuinly submitting to his Mistress, is rather pleaseing in that I can appreciate the dynamic in action. Do-me boys however I tend to find pathetic and irritating so don't tollerate their company for long, not that they seem to be relaxed in the company of a big scary Domly type (Funny though, genuine male subs never seem to find me threatening, just the do-me bunnys)


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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 2:00:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I derive no arousal from watching others submit. I enjoy it on an educational/intellectual level. I enjoy the energy transfered from the people involved.. but I do not get hot from watching it. My submission turns me on more than anything on planet Earth! I do get aroused from watching certain actions, but the individuals and their power exchange is not the turn on for me. Interesting question

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 2:04:02 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



Is it odd for a submissive female/male to feel weird about seeing a person of the opposite sex submit?




I do find it a little odd, but also understandable.

Society is a power influence and it can be quite difficult to break out of the grip which has been wrapped around us, practically from birth. Boys play with GI Joe and girls play with Barbie. Men are dominant, women are submissive. These are the stereotypes which are blasted at us from the media (and often from family as well) from the time we can reach up and grab the remote control. People are literally put into the box dependant upon their innie or outie status and we can come to believe that particular box is made of steel.

Some of us discovered early on that the box is rather made of paper and it's no hard thing to break through and do what we desire .. it just takes a bit of courage to test the bars and once tested, they shred and don't hold us in anymore.

That choice is one each individual needs to make .. and no choice usually means the quasi-steel doors stay in place.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 2:16:59 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		I'm bisexual, polyamorous, dominant, and my primary partner is a man who is also dominant. My head would probably explode if I found male dominants or female submissives weird.

However, I have known people who do seem to object to or feel uncomfortable with people of different genders taking on their roles. These people have uniformly been heterosexual, believers in innate, if not gender-defined predisposition to dominance or submission, and vehemently opposed to the idea that they would do anything that would not be consonant with the typical version of their roles. Most were male dominants or female submissives. Some were also very nice people.

Monica

(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 2:31:24 PM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		I have served with submissive females & it does make me uncomfortable sometimes. Doing certain acts in front of other slaves can make me self-conscious.

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Religion Is About Seeking Knowledge, Not Knowing All The Answers.

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 2:54:40 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I don't find it odd or uncomfortable to see either gender being topped by either gender. I have seen quite a few scenes of different mixtures and have myself been topped by both genders. I enjoy watching the scenes, seeing the energy, the connections. It's beautiful. One of the most powerful, moving, and beautiful scenes I've witnessed to date was between a male slave and his Mistress. They have a strong bond of love and he fully, completely submits to whatever she desires of him.

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 3:17:23 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

THe same goes for dominant male/females. Is it odd to feel weird when they see someone of the opposite sex be dominant.
 
Being a bi-poly-Dominant with a full time female sub, 2 part time male subs, and several Dom/me friends that I love to "team up" with, I wouldn't be having near as much fun if I tried to put everyone in a box. 
 
Some of the most fun that I have is with a couple of male switches and whatever sub male or female trips my trigger at the moment.  I may have them assist me as tops, or I may use them as additional subs in the scene.  If I were to "type cast" them as submissive only because of their sex, the value of their flexibility and versatility would be moot.
 
 

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 3:48:04 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Is it odd for a submissive female/male to feel weird about seeing a person of the opposite sex submit?

I have to admit i do find a submissive male odd to me. Don't get me wrong i have nothing against it i just think its a case of i don't understand it.
I have plenty of male submissive friends but have never asked them to try to help me understand. Its like im a little afraid of their answers. Dont know why though because they probably just have the same reasons as me.

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 3:58:05 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I have no problem with seeing a male be dominant.  I haev a Dom partener with whom I am involved and it is not strange.  However, I do know that my boy does have an issue with seeing a male be dominant. I am not sure if thats along the same line as the question, but he is uncomfortable with seeing a male dominate a female, becasue he believes that females are superior. He has no problem witha  female dominating another female, just a male doing it.
*shrug*
my 2 cents

DV

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 4:12:06 PM   
DoctorDubious


Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Is it odd for a submissive female/male to feel weird about seeing a person of the opposite sex submit?

THe same goes for dominant male/females. Is it odd to feel weird when they see someone of the opposite sex be dominant.




Hi litleone8620 .... and all...

I was working on a creative project ...
and needed a break to refresh my brain
so the title Hmmmmmmm seemed most appropriate, and attracted me

Yet, I have only one small contribution to the thoughts
of my delighful fellow perverts and deviants who gather here.

Personally, I feel neither "weird", nor not-weird with what you describe.
Some of us, and for sure that's me,   have zero "wiring" or desire to be a voyeur.

I love to dance, but watching other folks .... even experts.... just bores me.
I love to drive a nice car along the ocean shore, and derive a great deal of pleasure from it...
... but I sure as hell ain't gonna just watch somebody else drive that road....

Don't get me wrong, I'm not evaluating those who like... or love to watch ... or feel "weird" watching ...
.... because you might be a true Connoisseur of what you observe, and very wise... or learn a lot, oui?

... but this kinky old goat gets no thrill, no reaction, nothing at all from spectator sports.

For me, they are just a bore.  Either I dance, or I find something else to do.

DD
PS.... thanks for the hmmmmm'er .... heh heh
... back to work.

(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 4:59:46 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hell, I'm so far gone down the kink road that I wouldn't feel odd if I saw a dog juggling rolex watches, while whistling Dixie.

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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 5:15:52 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Some of us, and for sure that's me,   have zero "wiring" or desire to be a voyeur.


Just out of curiosity, and you can tell me this is none of my business and you'd be right..

... how do you rectify the above statement with the fact that you list a 'love' of movies on your profile page? Aren't movie goers the ultimate voyeurs. ::chuckles::

I'm a huge voyeur .. I like watching damn near anything because if I can't participate myself, that's the next best thing ..  and I love going to the movies, so I'm just wondering how you can be so against voyeurism for yourself yet love movies.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DoctorDubious)
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RE: Hmmmmmmmmmm - 6/30/2006 5:21:30 PM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline 		I don't have any problems with a male submissive or female domme. But I really don't get the female domme, or the male sub. I'm not saying they can't do their thing, but I just don't understand, why it is. If I even try to imagine myself in a scenario with a domme, it always turns into me just playing sub and then overtly controlling. So, it's a weird sight when I see a man subbing, I just can't get the impulse. I guess. I understand in theory, but I can't imagine it in practice is maybe a better way to put it.  But I don't understand alot of peoples views on different subjects besides this, so what's new. 

(in reply to litleone8620)
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