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Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 9:58:11 AM   
slave4boots


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/11/2008
Status: offline 		I have had a few sessions with the same Pro Domme. She has inflicted moderate pain on me with a cane and whip. After our last session she brought up the subject or beating me until she broke me. She wants to see me "curled up in a ball whimpering in pain and terrified of her"

My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 10:10:11 AM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4boots

My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?



No, not all of us do. But then no human beings of any stripe are uniformly alike anyway, are they?

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to slave4boots)
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RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 10:18:46 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Most of us don't want to 'break' our toys, instead we take good care of them. A pro who wants to break you is to be avoided. After all, she's not actually *your* domme, she's roleplaying for a fee. Since you're paying her, she should be doing what you want.

And it doesn't sound like you want this.

Hopefully someone from your side of the pond will chime in with how to find a reputable pro in your area.



_____________________________



(in reply to slave4boots)
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RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 11:49:57 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4boots

She wants to see me "curled up in a ball whimpering in pain and terrified of her"

My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?



Can't speak for others; I don't.

(in reply to slave4boots)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 12:20:57 PM   
LadyMariaP


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/3/2013
Status: offline 		Well, this is another one of those "what does it mean when people talk about breaking" questions. I mean, i certainly have hurt subs until they cry, or whimper, or beg, or whatever, but that's our agreed, consensual dynamic, what gets both of our rocks off at the end of the day, nothing to do with "breaking" anyone. The main thing is that play is what you both want it to be, however extreme that may be, that your domme is someone you feel safe with, knowing that limits will be respected, aftercare will happen etc.

As the wise lady above me said though, this isnt just any domme, this is a pro, someone you are paying for a service, and as such, your experience should be what *you* want it to be. Don't be afraid to remind her of that.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 12:27:43 PM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~

Yeah, I like breaking him, sometimes. I like hurting or hatefucking him until he's a crying, shaking ball on the bed, and I see genuine fear in his eyes. When I'm done, he either gets snuggled, or he gets to hear me get up and leave the room, where I go relax on the couch with a drink until he crawls over and puts his head in my lap. At which time he gets snuggled. And after we do that? He has never not thanked me, and never not actively initiated that kind of play again.

The thing is, I like doing this because it's something that thrills and energizes both of us. The getting up and leaving thing? I did it the first time because he mentioned that was an aspect of some of his fantasies. If I were playing with someone I didn't have a complete, loving relationship with, especially if that person was a client (because keep in mind, you are her client, nothing more) and didn't express sincere interest in that kind of play, it would never happen.

If it something you are interested in exploring, which it doesn't sound like you are, talk it through first. Make sure she knows what's not ok, and make sure that part of the service she offers is aftercare. Breaking someone is no fun, and no good, if you don't then help bring them back to themselves.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 12:40:02 PM   
MizzSpitfire


Posts: 70
Joined: 2/16/2012
Status: offline 		I would NEVER do this type of activity with someone I didn't have a more intimate relationship with than just pro/client. I take my responsibility as a top seriously, and sending someone home whose body and psyche are unstable would be completely immoral to me.

(in reply to Miyani)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 6:20:38 PM   
TigressLily


Posts: 436
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4boots

My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?

I would never and have never done this. Some people are more fragile than others, particularly those of an dreamy, sensitive, artistic & romantic bent; I would never risk breaking anyone's spirit. I wouldn't do that with a cat, dog or horse, or any other animal, much less with a human being. You may still be exploring what your Hard Limits are, but always establish those in advance. Not all BDSMers believe it's necessary to have a safe word, but I am a stickler for this. ("TimeOut" works fine, adjust your position, you're getting a leg cramp, take a bathroom break, you need a drink of water, more lube, whatever.)

Smart boy. You are SO right to question and to raise this issue. Furthermore, as others have stressed, you ARE the client. If she has a problem with any of YOUR particular kinks or fetishes, then I'm sure there are many other Pro-Dommes out there who wouldn't be, depending of course on how specialized or off-the-wall they might be.

Now, consensually is a whole other matter, if this is what excites the both of you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Miyani

If it something you are interested in exploring, which it doesn't sound like you are, talk it through first. Make sure she knows what's not ok, and make sure that part of the service she offers is aftercare. Breaking someone is no fun, and no good, if you don't then help bring them back to themselves.

Thank you Miyani for making a point of this. IMHO, you can't have one without the other. Severity without Mercy. I'm all about the aftercare, which is barely necessary since I am not a sadist.


_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to slave4boots)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/8/2013 9:01:12 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4boots
My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?

I'm more interested in whether you need to be "broken" in that way. Do you?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to slave4boots)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/9/2013 12:49:35 AM   
SerWhiteTiger


Posts: 437
Joined: 8/12/2013
From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Miyani

~FR~

Yeah, I like breaking him, sometimes. I like hurting or hatefucking him until he's a crying, shaking ball on the bed, and I see genuine fear in his eyes. When I'm done, he either gets snuggled, or he gets to hear me get up and leave the room, where I go relax on the couch with a drink until he crawls over and puts his head in my lap. At which time he gets snuggled. And after we do that? He has never not thanked me, and never not actively initiated that kind of play again.

The thing is, I like doing this because it's something that thrills and energizes both of us. The getting up and leaving thing? I did it the first time because he mentioned that was an aspect of some of his fantasies. If I were playing with someone I didn't have a complete, loving relationship with, especially if that person was a client (because keep in mind, you are her client, nothing more) and didn't express sincere interest in that kind of play, it would never happen.

If it something you are interested in exploring, which it doesn't sound like you are, talk it through first. Make sure she knows what's not ok, and make sure that part of the service she offers is aftercare. Breaking someone is no fun, and no good, if you don't then help bring them back to themselves.


If you bring them back to themselves, you didn't break them IMO. Ahh, semantics.

(in reply to Miyani)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/9/2013 5:43:27 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		There are many different kinds of "breaking." And what is broken can often be fixed. It's clear that the pro-domme in the OP isn't talking about reducing him permanently to a wreck of a man - just beating the crap out of him until he can't take any more.

(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/13/2013 12:41:20 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4boots

I have had a few sessions with the same Pro Domme. She has inflicted moderate pain on me with a cane and whip. After our last session she brought up the subject or beating me until she broke me. She wants to see me "curled up in a ball whimpering in pain and terrified of her"

My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?



As a proswitch, I am extremely cautious about how far I take sessions especially with new clients. The reality is I don't know them, their limits, their triggers, how their bodies react, or details of their personal life. So I feel as if I not only have to protect them in a sense but more importantly myself.

On a personal level, I don't break my slaves / subs to mentally, physically, or emotionally to rebuild them.

_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
http://www.kinkbomb.com/studio/Sadistic_Babygirl_

(in reply to slave4boots)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Breaking a Slave - 9/13/2013 2:27:47 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzSpitfire

I would NEVER do this type of activity with someone I didn't have a more intimate relationship with than just pro/client. I take my responsibility as a top seriously, and sending someone home whose body and psyche are unstable would be completely immoral to me.



This is an excellent response. And the key words are intimate relationship

To which I will add a few more.

Both are: mature, intelligent, conscious of health implications, mentally and emotionally stable and have real mental and emotional bonds. Perhaps even, a committed LT relationship.

Then .. I would understand ...

That is my two




_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to MizzSpitfire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/26/2014 4:55:57 PM   
gladucame


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/29/2011
Status: offline 		Im learning.

(in reply to LadyMariaP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/26/2014 5:09:32 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Most of us don't want to 'break' our toys, instead we take good care of them. A pro who wants to break you is to be avoided. After all, she's not actually *your* domme, she's roleplaying for a fee. Since you're paying her, she should be doing what you want.

And it doesn't sound like you want this.

Hopefully someone from your side of the pond will chime in with how to find a reputable pro in your area.





I wouldn't call her disreputable or role playing, she made her desires clear and the ball is in his court if he wants this or not.

Personally I never saw the point of breaking something that doesn't need to be fixed, and if it's in need to be fixed, I don't want to be the fixer but I would point the person in the direction where he or she could get fixed, but we all play differently.

You know when I was active as a pro, I specified that my main interest were masochists, I didn't role play the sadist, of course I had other interests too and if they meshed, sure, then we could session. I was never short of masos, with a lot of dommes it is really that what you see is what you get and that they have no interest to camouflage as something they are not - you can only be really good at something you enjoy, sounds like this particular domme let him know what her thing is and gives him an out, that if he doesn't want it, he might better look for somebody else. Which is fair enough, unless he wants somebody who just likes to play pretend.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/26/2014 9:03:32 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4boots
My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?

No, not all of us do. I don't. I care very much about my submissive(s) and I don't want to "break" anyone I care about.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to slave4boots)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/27/2014 7:44:22 AM   
asanaambitions


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/26/2013
Status: offline 		This honestly sounds to me like the Pro in question is A) trying to see how far she can/should push you in session B) an actual sadist and is trying to bring something she'd enjoy into your scenes C) posturing and talking tough because that's what a lot of clients want and expect from a Dominatrix. Could be any one, or combination of the above reasons. I also don't think this lady sounds particularly unsafe, she's negotiating before the scene even starts, not just ramping up the pain until you're either crying or called your safeword. She may be trying to suss out your fantasies, since a lot of the men who present themselves as male subs in the scene talk about pretty intense stuff a lot of the time. If you're not into it but enjoy sessioning with her then just let her know that, or if she's made you worried she'll just do what she wants anyways then start the process of finding a new Pro to service you.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/27/2014 10:04:44 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4boots

I have had a few sessions with the same Pro Domme. She has inflicted moderate pain on me with a cane and whip. After our last session she brought up the subject or beating me until she broke me. She wants to see me "curled up in a ball whimpering in pain and terrified of her"

My question is, do other Mistresses see a need to break your slaves or subs in this way?


Ask her if she is willing to try and break you for free and she what type of response you get :)

I think most Dommes have no desire to break their toys. But you will certainly find Dommes who enjoy pushing your limits. Many Dommes do enjoy seeing the sub totter on the verge of the sub's capability. They enjoy taking you a step farther than you went the last time.

My personal opinion is to ask yourself what are you seeking? Whether you are seeking a ProDomme or a lifestyle Domme, you have wants/needs that same as the Domme. The best relationships happen when both people get something out of it. So if being pushed past your limits is not something that is appealing to you simply say so.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to slave4boots)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/27/2014 7:54:56 PM   
bowedB4Women


Posts: 45
Joined: 2/7/2014
Status: offline 		And the vast majority answer no. what a load off...not something I would be looming for.

_____________________________

"He needed the hand on his shoulder, the kiss to his temple and the hot, breath of his Mistress over his face."Casey K. Cox

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/27/2014 8:27:19 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bowedB4Women

And the vast majority answer no. what a load off...not something I would be looming for.


Well, I guess we're not right for you then, excuse me while I cry into my pillow, because obviously the Dommes are cuing up to break you in ways you desire, enjoy...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to bowedB4Women)
Profile   Post #: 20
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