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RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/12/2013 8:57:25 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

Okay ladies, I will bite.

WTF is wrong with polite, well written emails that are neutral in nature and addressing something in their profile, their pictures or something they put in their journal?

Or is it that if you are over 50 you automatically enter the dirty old man type critter class?

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 21

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/12/2013 8:58:09 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My question to you gentlemen is, have you ever changed your email habits based on what you have seen women*** write on threads when the topic is emails? If you would care to share, have you ever seen something that you do, or have done in the past, that a majority of women see as a bad move?

Not because of message boards, but I absolutely changed my email habits because of what women here were saying to me. Or, rather, not saying. When I first joined CM, I messaged a few dozen women, and got no responses, except for a few offers to chat on Yahoo which I subsequently learned were all Nigeria scams. So, at that point, I said, "Wait a minute. Half the people in the world are women, and a lot of women are kinky. So the only logical conclusion is that my emails suck."

Then I changed the way I emailed women, and started getting responses. I tweaked that a bit, and started getting lots of responses.

I guess I'd like to emphasize that I attributed my poor results to my weak emails, and not to fake profiles or bitchy women. That allowed me to focus on a problem that I was able to fix, so I could use my own power to improve my results.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 22

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/12/2013 10:22:37 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

If I write to someone I normally read their entire profile first. I look at their pictures and then I write to them about whatever it was that got my attention. I most always ask questions so they can start a dialog if they so desire. I am always polite and I usually end my emails with expressing my hope that they will write back and I tell them if they do not write back to me, I wish them well on their search.

Oddly enough my response rate is fairly low, but then again I do not write a ton of emails because I have sent some really thoughtful ones out and they were either deleted or left unread. Go figure.

I am with jlf1961, I think that the word is out that I have a collection of various and sundry body parts in my basement or something ridiculous like that. I do not mind putting myself out there, but most all of the women on this site have stated plainly what they do not want in a contact email and when I have sent them an email as I described above, I hear crickets.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 23

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/12/2013 10:33:36 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

I have a 100% response rate.

But I only send mail to someone that I have read many posts from and only after I have read the profile thoroughly.

In other words: I do exactly what netiquette says to do.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 24

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 4:46:19 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

My response rate runs 50+ but I'm really picky about who I correspond with.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 25

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 9:40:55 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

I rarely email anyone from the other side, mainly because I'm not in the hunt. The few times I have is either because they are either someone I may have interacted with in the past or they share an interest I have. I do admit, I emailed one lady based solely on my belief I may have been related to her (get your minds out of the gutter, folks). Turns out she wasn't, but we had a pleasant exchange for a few weeks.

Another lady I emailed was merely to ask where she found a certain image on her profile (it was of a lake scene with a cabin). Despite the fact her profile stated loudly "NO MALES", she was polite enough to reply with a source. I think it's all in how you title it and the opening sentence is what determines the response. When I exchange messages with someone, I take pains not to come off sounding like a dick, and it seems to work.

_____________________________

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The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 26

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 9:50:51 AM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressLily
ATTN: cloudboy
RE: Nonetheless, if you're not available and only want to chat, then you shouldn't be expecting to get any responses on a cold call other than to eff off. If it were me, and I didn't know you from Adam, you'd be getting a reprimand. :)

There, too late for an ETA smiley on my original post which had gotten left off--so you'd know I was only kidding. (Half-kidding) I'm sure you wouldn't have cold-contacted me in the first place after reading my profile. You're too sensible for that. Further, a few others might essentially tell a guy to 'eff off' but I have never personally done so, not without blatant provocation. In person I have said "F--- you and the horse you rode in on!" but that was a long time ago.

As for your 50% forum contact success rate, I'm taken aback as to why that wouldn't be up in the 80-90 percentile bracket. If you ever want to drop me a line cb, I'll 100% guarantee a nice response, okay?

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to TigressLily)

Post #: 27

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 10:09:57 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

One surprising thing for me is the non response rate from CMMB posters. My response rate here is maybe 50% and that includes writing to M and F.

I almost always write back to forum posters with the exception of those that send hate mail.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 28

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 4:24:33 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

An example was I wrote to SimplyMichael to ask why he was put on moderation. I didn't hear back. He read the MSG. Now he's just pretty much bugged out of CM.

I don't feel anyone owes me a reply, but its always a little disappointing to be ignored.

I once created a F dummie profile. I used it to post a mirror message (a message asking the same kind of question) of a malesub OP who got clobbered by CMMB respondents. I wanted to see if a F asking the same kind of question would receive the same rough treatment.

Answer: The F got much better treatment.

Anyway, that dummie profile must have accumulated 20-30 messages within the first two hours of its creation --- and that tally kept growing. It was creepy.

The advantage of being M is a clean inbox.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 9/13/2013 4:25:22 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 29

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 4:27:11 PM

getoutnow

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/5/2013
Status: offline

Unfortunately there is a sub group of forum regulars who have little else to do than sit all day on here and fly in formation and gang up on the newbies, especially if what the newb has said doesn't fall in-line with what they want to see.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 30

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 4:37:33 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
An example was I wrote to SimplyMichael to ask why he was put on moderation. I didn't hear back. He read the MSG. Now he's just pretty much bugged out of CM.
.....
Anyway, that dummie profile must have accumulated 20-30 messages within the first two hours of its creation --- and that tally kept growing. It was creepy.

Welcome to our world, wherein creepy messages in our inboxes are a daily occurrence.
SimplyMichael closed his CM account awhile ago, when that last moderation went into effect.
By the way, I wrote to you back in mid August and you never responded

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 31

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 5:19:16 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I did want to take a quick moment to thank responders so far. Some highlights.......

blushes - Yeah, I'm aware. I don't even get into what non forum posters send. I do wonder if some of them ever figure it out.

Rho - Thanks. Didn't want to run afoul.

cb - Considering my own parameters, I'm not surprised that the response rate is at least double from forum members. Since folks who post are already talking to each other anyway, you've got a sense of familiarity. (More coming.)

Dom68005 - I believe that has everything to do with the gender factor. The numbers on the internet are just too far skewed with imbalance.

Steven - On #4 specifically, I think that's very nice of you. Three years ago, I agreed to show another poster what it's like for a Domme with a new account so he could see what comes in mail. I got 74 responses in 18 hours. The nicest one of the entire lot was a switch who sent information about the local groups.

peon - I think you remember that and it gave you some insight, too.

Des - I think some don't want advice and others just don't believe the advice given.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961
WTF is wrong with polite, well written emails that are neutral in nature and addressing something in their profile, their pictures or something they put in their journal?
Or is it that if you are over 50 you automatically enter the dirty old man type critter class?

If age is a determining factor for the receiver, combined with something like location, it might just come down to time investment. Of course, there's always the advice of actually giving her something to respond to because a question has been asked. Even then, if two people ask a similar question, I'm more likely to answer the question if it's from somebody close by, rather than some guy in Egypt or India.

Red - If I recall right, you've actually posted some links in the past from other sites on how to improve response rates. I think they were from OKCupid.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 32

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 5:28:30 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

By the way, I wrote to you back in mid August and you never responded

What an utter cad and bounder that Cloudboy is!

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 33

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 6:41:27 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm hoping this isn't going to be considered a duplicate topic. I am aware that there is another thread right now concerning email but I feel this is a different question.

Cutting to the chase, on the other thread, the poster wanted to know why he got a bad response. During the course of the thread, he revealed that he had asked the person to whom he sent the email that he had asked if it was her real name. As of right now, Myself and three other women have unanimously said that was a bad idea and very likely, that is why he got a bad response.

I'm using this only as an example. We've had lots of threads about emails. Why don't women respond? How does a person improve an initial email? What tactics work to improve the chances of getting a response? So on and so on.

My question to you gentlemen is, have you ever changed your email habits based on what you have seen women*** write on threads when the topic is emails? If you would care to share, have you ever seen something that you do, or have done in the past, that a majority of women see as a bad move?

When it comes to the topic of emails, when women talk, do you listen?

***If women are your target demographic.

Well, I would more tightly define the question as...."have you (men) ever responded differently if a woman met many of (your) qualifications, but her email rubbed you the wrong way?"

(I'm presuming, of course).

And if indeed that was your question.....my answer would be (if that was in fact....)....if she speaks poorly. If she says she's "doing good" instead of "doing well".

If she doesn't comprehend my original, or follow on question or comment.

If her response isn't somehow connected to either my question....or her own.

That would make me change my email habits...or response.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 34

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 6:57:27 PM

SWDesertDom

Posts: 231
Joined: 4/5/2012
Status: offline

I have significantly altered my "first contact" email approach.

When women talk, I listen. Sadly, they don't always send a unified message. I've taken advice not only based on what the message boards say, but on what women I've talked to on the other side say.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 35

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 7:57:00 PM

SerWhiteTiger

Posts: 437
Joined: 8/12/2013
From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
Status: offline

Women don't even read my emails. ;)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 36

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 8:03:47 PM

SerWhiteTiger

Posts: 437
Joined: 8/12/2013
From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
Status: offline

But every time I go to a munch, I meet someone interested in me. So screw the other half of this site TBH.

(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)

Post #: 37

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/13/2013 9:13:07 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

Women don't even read my emails. ;)

I haven't read mine for years.

(However, considering I wrote them, there hasn't been a great deal of impetus to do so).

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 9/13/2013 9:14:03 PM >

(in reply to SerWhiteTiger)

Post #: 38

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/14/2013 2:40:03 AM

thezeppo

Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

I'm not sure I've changed my messaging style, I did a lot of reading here before I sent my first message and the number of unsolicited messages I have sent is still very low. If I do send one I make sure that it contains no reference whatsoever to kink and I try to make it personalised to make it obvious there was some thought process behind the message. I have changed the way I talk about myself to women in vanilla life though. The first thing I used to reveal was that I had a foot fetish, which looking back now even creeps me out a little bit. More recently I have opened up about being submissive first, which to be honest is much better received. That's probably the most important thing I have learned on this site from dommes both on the other side and here - that being kinky and being submissive are not the same thing.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 39

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/14/2013 3:58:26 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I assume we're talking about "approach" e-mails but, there's an interesting thing there, also:

There are times when I have noticed a blog/journal entry or part of a profile which really struck a chord with me. I took the time to quote the passage that I noticed or, I include the date (and time, if applicable) of the blog/journal entry and write what my thoughts were on the item to which I was "replying".

The lack of response or the rude responses or the flat-out nutjob responses (assuming that I was making an "approach" when I was not) have definitely caused me to alter my e-mail style. I rarely send any, anymore (although, lately I have been sending the same message, over-and-over, every day to the same entity and will continue to do so until an adequate response is received).

On those rare occasions that I do send an e-mail, they have become closer to one-liners (maybe two or three lines) as opposed to the former well thought out, two-four paragraph messages that I used to send. Rude responses and nutjob behavior do not merit my best efforts.

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to thezeppo)

Post #: 40

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