RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails

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RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/14/2013 9:27:12 AM

Kana

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quote:

My question to you gentlemen is, have you ever changed your email habits based on what you have seen women*** write on threads when the topic is emails? If you would care to share, have you ever seen something that you do, or have done in the past, that a majority of women see as a bad move?

When it comes to the topic of emails, when women talk, do you listen?

Of course I do. Only a fool doesn't listen to feed back from the target pool. especially if it helps me get what I desire. You bet your sweet bippy I paid attention. Not just to forum feedback, but as others have mentioned, at least as much through discussions on the other side.
(In fact, when I first got on here, I'd never written a BDSM profile in my life. Came on the forums, broke my cherry in doing so, and asked for feedback. Got lots of good responses.FangsnFeet gave me some great advice which I followed real close. So yeah. From the git I've been on here watching, questioning, listening, learning, growing. Thanks all!)
Cripes,when chicas write an instruction manual for men on how to pick them up, what they like, what they don't, what rocks their clitties and what makes em shudder, I mean that's some low hanging fruit there.
I was, and am, and hope to always be, open to that :-)

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Post #: 41

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/14/2013 1:34:07 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I assume we're talking about "approach" e-mails but, there's an interesting thing there, also:

There are times when I have noticed a blog/journal entry or part of a profile which really struck a chord with me. I took the time to quote the passage that I noticed or, I include the date (and time, if applicable) of the blog/journal entry and write what my thoughts were on the item to which I was "replying".

The lack of response or the rude responses or the flat-out nutjob responses (assuming that I was making an "approach" when I was not) have definitely caused me to alter my e-mail style.

You're paying for every other guy's rudeness in using something from her journal to try to get her to change her mind about location, age, height, weight and other parameters.

To be honest, almost all 'innocuous' mail I get is actually an excuse for a come-on.

You may not have been interested in approaching her but that's far from the norm.

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Post #: 42

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/15/2013 2:59:24 AM

DaddySatyr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You're paying for every other guy's rudeness in using something from her journal to try to get her to change her mind about location, age, height, weight and other parameters.

To be honest, almost all 'innocuous' mail I get is actually an excuse for a come-on.

You may not have been interested in approaching her but that's far from the norm.

Therein lies the rub.

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Post #: 43

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/15/2013 8:37:37 AM

evesgrden

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

When it comes to the topic of emails, when women talk, do you listen?

FR

There's only one answer. I can't imagine someone responding, "hell no, am I suppsed to??"

I'm not sure what you were trying to get out of this.

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Post #: 44

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/17/2013 8:09:39 AM

Apocalypso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

My response rate runs 50+ but I'm really picky about who I correspond with.

Likewise. But back when I was actively looking, I was extremely selective when messaging. At most I was sending out one mail a week and often it was closer to monthly.

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Post #: 45

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/17/2013 8:13:53 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden
FR

There's only one answer. I can't imagine someone responding, "hell no, am I suppsed to??"

I'm not sure what you were trying to get out of this.

I thought I had been clear about that in the original

quote:

My question to you gentlemen is, have you ever changed your email habits based on what you have seen women*** write on threads when the topic is emails? If you would care to share, have you ever seen something that you do, or have done in the past, that a majority of women see as a bad move?

Is it necessary for Me to write that I'm curious about something or is asking the question in the first place sufficient?

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Post #: 46

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 9/17/2013 10:24:14 AM

descrite

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[Totally anecdotal info follows.]

- Forum posters seem to respond with much greater reliability.

- I use the exact same messaging style(s) here, on FL, and on OKC. I have had zero dates here, and many dates and several relationships from the other two sites.

- I have never not responded to an initial (unsolicited) message, even if it is from A) another dom, B) a member of the gender I'm not attracted to, C) someone being rude/insulting, or D) all of the above.

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Post #: 47

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 6/5/2014 8:07:15 AM

cloudboy

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quote:

By the way, I wrote to you back in mid August and you never responded

All my posting on this thread has turned out to be SUPER STUPID -- because last week I found out that my mail controls were routing all messages from anyone 45 years of age or older into my bulk folder. I don't know how this was triggered -- but the result was that I did not read or respond to messages sent to me. The filter, somehow set by mistake, had been in place for years.

So, for everyone that I completely ignored (a small group, but maybe and elite one

) I apologize.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 6/5/2014 8:08:11 AM >

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Post #: 48

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 6/5/2014 8:27:20 AM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

-- because last week I found out that my mail controls were routing all messages from anyone 45 years of age or older into my bulk folder.

And here I thought you were into older women....

(If you are, then Never Mind.)

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Post #: 49

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 6/5/2014 9:37:45 AM

MrRodgers

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

Okay ladies, I will bite.

WTF is wrong with polite, well written emails that are neutral in nature and addressing something in their profile, their pictures or something they put in their journal?

Or is it that if you are over 50 you automatically enter the dirty old man type critter class?

Remember what Freud said..."Anatomy is destiny." But I n e v e r email anymore unless in response to something in the forums. I have occasional play partners and am otherwise...extremely selective...so.....

Yes, I have had better success finding candidates offline and I think it is because...one meets the person, not being subject to the social, kinky and mental filters of the Internet which is what it often is.

Plus jlf...we are 'dirty old men.'

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 6/5/2014 9:44:52 AM >

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Post #: 50

RE: Gentlemen, a question about your emails - 6/5/2014 11:29:30 AM

Musicmystery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm hoping this isn't going to be considered a duplicate topic. I am aware that there is another thread right now concerning email but I feel this is a different question.

Cutting to the chase, on the other thread, the poster wanted to know why he got a bad response. During the course of the thread, he revealed that he had asked the person to whom he sent the email that he had asked if it was her real name. As of right now, Myself and three other women have unanimously said that was a bad idea and very likely, that is why he got a bad response.

I'm using this only as an example. We've had lots of threads about emails. Why don't women respond? How does a person improve an initial email? What tactics work to improve the chances of getting a response? So on and so on.

My question to you gentlemen is, have you ever changed your email habits based on what you have seen women*** write on threads when the topic is emails? If you would care to share, have you ever seen something that you do, or have done in the past, that a majority of women see as a bad move?

When it comes to the topic of emails, when women talk, do you listen?

***If women are your target demographic.

No, I'd never listen to the cacophony of dissenting voices in the forums as good advice per se.

I rarely email anyone. When I do, it's because I see a mutual resonance around something. What happens then depends on the emails I receive (if I do -- and if I don't, that bothers me not at all). I'm looking for someone who steps up to the conversation, who is engaging and interesting. If I find myself pushing a rope, I let it drop.

Only after we're clearly hitting it off do I consider other communication (phone, then if that goes well, meeting).

From the male side of things, I think it's the man's job to create a safe space for her to be who she is. Let her want to come closer herself. Then don't make her regret it.

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Post #: 51