Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me

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jlf1961 -> Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 6:59:50 PM)
I have a few questions for the women on these boards, that it is time they are answered, I am sure the other males around here are curious as well. I will break them down to specific categories. Bathroom. 1) what difference does it make how the toilet paper goes on the roll? For that matter what is wrong with leaving on the counter beside the sink, it is still within reach. 2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise. 3) Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes? Bedroom 1) If it is a kingsize bed there is plenty of room. Cuddling is cool, however, do you understand the law of physics about two objects not being able to share the same space? Keep moving closer to us after there is physical contact, we are gonna move, eventually off the bed. 2) What is the function of making a bed in the morning? Okay, straighten the sheets, covers, pillows, we are not having a military inspection after all. 3) At most, you use two pillows at night, now would you explain why putting a dozen pillows on a bed that are just going to be thrown on the floor to make room for people to actually sleep in the bed. 4) Closet space. A. Five pair of jeans, four nice shirts, three flannels for winter, one nice jacket for formal wear, work boots, dress boots, tennis shoes. Add to that three or four sweat shirts, six pocket tees, and a few wife beaters. One complete wardrobe. So explain the necessity of a wardrobe that will allow you to change outfits, shoes and purses four times a day every day of the month. Do you really need all those clothes and shoes? B. Why does the closet space ratio regardless of how many closets in the room always seem to be 75 to 1 in favor of women? Kitchen 1) why do we need a plate or paper towed to make a sandwich on? If the counter is clean, why dirty up a plate? 2) what is the problem with keeping the coffee pot full? 3) what is the difference between good china (only used for holidays) and the every day stuff? 4) why go ballistic if a guy grabs a fork, pokes something in a non stick pan to taste it? 5) why does a coffee cup we always use need a complete wash at the end of the day? what is wrong with rinsing it out? Dining room Why is it so important where the silverware goes? General 1) Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression? 2) We put down cardboard, with a towel on top of that, plus an old sheet, so why get spastic because we are rebuilding a carb on the coffee table while the game, race, or victoria's secret special is on? Finally You knew we did these things before you decided we were "the one" so why are you making a fuss after you move in?

DesFIP -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 7:54:02 PM)
Why can't you humor her on occasion? It matters to her is the only (serious) answer. So why don't you care about what matters to her? About the dressing nice to meet her mom, it's like going for a job interview. You wouldn't wear that to a job interview or to keep the job even though your clothes have nothing to do with your ability to do the work. It shows that you are willing to fit into the corporate culture. She wants her mom to like you, which includes showing her mom that you respect her enough to look nice when she visits. Toilet stuff: because it's important at 3:00 AM that we can stumble in there, sit down, and not have to turn on the light to know if we need to put the seat down or find the toilet paper or get it to unroll. And if you don't understand why we need a dozen pillows on the bed, it's impossible to explain it to you. You're lacking the pillow gene. We have it.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 8:27:25 PM)
1) Any woman that has ever had small children, or cats, knows the answer to this question. 2) This wasn't really a question but the answer is....toilets are filthy things (even when clean) Be happy you don't live in my house or you would be sitting down to pee and it would no longer ever be a question as to if it were down or not. 3) You totaled 56 mins. It takes me that long, often longer, to take a bath....which I do at night. I have never spent that much time in the bathroom in the morning. Bedroom- I could actually answer each of these but won't bother. The answer to the first is...Pfft. I have never had a man get out of my bed because I got closer to him. The answer to each of the rest is...It is my bedroom. If you can not deal with things as I wish them to be done...get out. Closet space- We have more things and yes they are necessary. Kitchen- 1) I have no idea what you are talking about. You can eat off the floor for all I care. 2) Coffee is nasty (get out of my house) 3)Keep your fingers off my china. You don't need to know the difference and you don't need to be touching things you don't understand. 4)Because you will scratch it. (again) Get out of my kitchen if you do not understand such things. 5)I have never washed a mans coffee cup and I don't care if they wash them either. (coffee is nasty) Dining room- Do you want stabbed in the eye with a fork? <that's why it is important. General- 1) I don't care if you change your shirt or not. Go back to the garage where you belong. 2) You wouldn't be watching the game, the race, or anything else in my living room. Go to your man cave and play with your dirty things....I don't care. And finally- I don't care what you did before I decided you would make a nice pet. This is my home. I did not move in with you, you moved in with me. If you can not follow my rules...well....I hope we didn't have the kind of fun I will miss later.

theshytype -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 8:31:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 Bathroom. 1) what difference does it make how the toilet paper goes on the roll? For that matter what is wrong with leaving on the counter beside the sink, it is still within reach. Try wrapping up a feminine product with a roll of TP in one hand and the product in the other. quote: 2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise. The best way to answer this: YOU THINK I NEED EXERCISE?!?!?!!!! quote: 3) Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes? I can't answer this. As a person that LOVES sleep and HATES mornings, I have learned to maximize my routine on minimal time and can be done with all of that before my husband is done getting ready. quote: Bedroom 1) If it is a kingsize bed there is plenty of room. Cuddling is cool, however, do you understand the law of physics about two objects not being able to share the same space? Keep moving closer to us after there is physical contact, we are gonna move, eventually off the bed. That's the point. If we're pushing you off the bed, you're not sleeping. If you're not sleeping, you're not snoring. quote: 2) What is the function of making a bed in the morning? Okay, straighten the sheets, covers, pillows, we are not having a military inspection after all. Always be prepared. Women don't need to join a group as a child to learn this. quote: 3) At most, you use two pillows at night, now would you explain why putting a dozen pillows on a bed that are just going to be thrown on the floor to make room for people to actually sleep in the bed. For the floor when you fall off.

jlf1961 -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 8:38:00 PM)
what pray tell is wrong with this couch? [image]local://upfiles/622970/C745FF95D69541568582A7E9BBA44C1E.jpg[/image]

theshytype -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 8:41:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 what pray tell is wrong with this couch? It's not in my backyard

jlf1961 -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 8:58:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theshytype quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 what pray tell is wrong with this couch? It's not in my backyard I would put it in my living room

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 9:55:41 PM)
Nothing and if you bring it to my house you can put it in my living room. quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 what pray tell is wrong with this couch? [image]local://upfiles/622970/C745FF95D69541568582A7E9BBA44C1E.jpg[/image]

asanaambitions -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 10:17:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 I have a few questions for the women on these boards, that it is time they are answered, I am sure the other males around here are curious as well. I will break them down to specific categories. Bathroom. 1) what difference does it make how the toilet paper goes on the roll? For that matter what is wrong with leaving on the counter beside the sink, it is still within reach. Because I hate having to search around for the TP or have the roll spin and spin and spin while it's 3 am and all I want to do is go back to bed. 2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise. Because apparently you were never told that the WHOLE toilet seat needs to go down, not just the middle cover, because when you flush said toilet you are spraying microscopic bits of urine and feces all over the bathroom if you don't. And really? I don't want that shit on my toothbrush (pun intended). 3) Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes? I am up, dressed and out of the house in under 30 minutes. If you're choosing women who, when you meet them, have a face full of make up and a every-hair-in-it's-place hairstyle then you should already know what you're getting into and stop your winging. Also, do you even KNOW how long it takes to shave yourself from nose to toes? PLEASE! Bedroom 1) If it is a kingsize bed there is plenty of room. Cuddling is cool, however, do you understand the law of physics about two objects not being able to share the same space? Keep moving closer to us after there is physical contact, we are gonna move, eventually off the bed. We're not trying to snuggle, we're trying to get you to roll over so you don't sound like a jet engine taking off 2) What is the function of making a bed in the morning? Okay, straighten the sheets, covers, pillows, we are not having a military inspection after all. You're complaining about making the bed, but then say it's understandable to make the bed....que?!?! 3) At most, you use two pillows at night, now would you explain why putting a dozen pillows on a bed that are just going to be thrown on the floor to make room for people to actually sleep in the bed. Because bitches love pillows 4) Closet space. A. Five pair of jeans, four nice shirts, three flannels for winter, one nice jacket for formal wear, work boots, dress boots, tennis shoes. Add to that three or four sweat shirts, six pocket tees, and a few wife beaters. One complete wardrobe. So explain the necessity of a wardrobe that will allow you to change outfits, shoes and purses four times a day every day of the month. Do you really need all those clothes and shoes? Because most men demand that women look like they just walked off the pages of Vogue at all times? Or, alternatively, because women express themselves and their personality through clothing and therefor like to mix it up. B. Why does the closet space ratio regardless of how many closets in the room always seem to be 75 to 1 in favor of women? Because we have more shit Kitchen 1) why do we need a plate or paper towed to make a sandwich on? If the counter is clean, why dirty up a plate? That's what cutting boards are for... 2) what is the problem with keeping the coffee pot full? It goes stale and disgusting after 20 minutes that's why. 3) what is the difference between good china (only used for holidays) and the every day stuff? The price 4) why go ballistic if a guy grabs a fork, pokes something in a non stick pan to taste it? Because you're scratching the non-stick coating, which is what releases all the toxic chemicals into your food. 5) why does a coffee cup we always use need a complete wash at the end of the day? what is wrong with rinsing it out? Because bacteria is not killed by rinsing. Dining room Why is it so important where the silverware goes? So we know where it is when we need it General 1) Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression? Because we want to show you off and be able to brag about how awesome you are. That's hard to do when you're sitting around in a stained t-shirt scratching your balls and yelling at the TV. 2) We put down cardboard, with a towel on top of that, plus an old sheet, so why get spastic because we are rebuilding a carb on the coffee table while the game, race, or victoria's secret special is on? Because you should have a workshop for that and not once have I seen a man take apart any sort of machinery and not make a mess within a 50 foot radius. Finally You knew we did these things before you decided we were "the one" so why are you making a fuss after you move in? Because the things that don't bother a person when they're not exposed to them on a daily basis become the things we want to smother you with a ham sandwich while you sleep for later.

yourdarkdesire -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 10:37:55 PM)
ORIGINAL: jlf1961 I have a few questions for the women on these boards, that it is time they are answered, I am sure the other males around here are curious as well. I will break them down to specific categories. Bathroom. 1) what difference does it make how the toilet paper goes on the roll? For that matter what is wrong with leaving on the counter beside the sink, it is still within reach. I don't care, as long as there is a roll in the bathroom 2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise. Unless you clean the toilet every time you use it, please leave the lid down as it just looks cleaner. 3) Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes? I live with a 10 yr old, a 15 yr old and a 49 yr old. I can be in and out and finished in 15 minutes or less. Bedroom 1) If it is a kingsize bed there is plenty of room. Cuddling is cool, however, do you understand the law of physics about two objects not being able to share the same space? Keep moving closer to us after there is physical contact, we are gonna move, eventually off the bed. Pfftt...I sleep on my own side thank you. 2) What is the function of making a bed in the morning? Okay, straighten the sheets, covers, pillows, we are not having a military inspection after all. I don't believe in making the bed unless I am changing the linens. 3) At most, you use two pillows at night, now would you explain why putting a dozen pillows on a bed that are just going to be thrown on the floor to make room for people to actually sleep in the bed. I sleep with 1 pillow. There are only 2 pillows on my king bed. 4) Closet space. A. Five pair of jeans, four nice shirts, three flannels for winter, one nice jacket for formal wear, work boots, dress boots, tennis shoes. Add to that three or four sweat shirts, six pocket tees, and a few wife beaters. One complete wardrobe. So explain the necessity of a wardrobe that will allow you to change outfits, shoes and purses four times a day every day of the month. Do you really need all those clothes and shoes? I only wear one outfit a day, unless something really special is going on. B. Why does the closet space ratio regardless of how many closets in the room always seem to be 75 to 1 in favor of women? Our closets are the same size. Quit yer bitchin Kitchen 1) why do we need a plate or paper towed to make a sandwich on? If the counter is clean, why dirty up a plate? Sounds fair. Just clean up your mess when done. 2) what is the problem with keeping the coffee pot full? Thats what the keurig is for...one cup at a time. And I hate coffee. 3) what is the difference between good china (only used for holidays) and the every day stuff? The price. 4) why go ballistic if a guy grabs a fork, pokes something in a non stick pan to taste it? Because everyone else knows you're suppose to use a spoon. 5) why does a coffee cup we always use need a complete wash at the end of the day? what is wrong with rinsing it out? As long as you don't put it back in the cupboard with the clean dishes, your choice. Dining room Why is it so important where the silverware goes? General 1) Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression? That would depend on why they are coming over. Casual lunch? Wear what you want. Christmas dinner? Clean the fuck up. And put some underwear on, for crying out load! 2) We put down cardboard, with a towel on top of that, plus an old sheet, so why get spastic because we are rebuilding a carb on the coffee table while the game, race, or victoria's secret special is on? Because I am trying to watch my soap opera/talk show. Besides, I bought you a tv for the shop/garage/den.......get out of my living room. Finally You knew we did these things before you decided we were "the one" so why are you making a fuss after you move in? Ummmmm....you knew how i felt about this before you asked me to move in.......now live with it. ]

TheHeretic -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 10:48:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 You knew we did these things before you decided we were "the one" so why are you making a fuss after you move in? Because women marry men with the expectation that we will change. This is exacerbated by men marrying women with the expectation that they won't.

metamorfosis -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 11:24:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 what difference does it make how the toilet paper goes on the roll? For that matter what is wrong with leaving on the counter beside the sink, it is still within reach. Hell, yeah. Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise. No argument here. Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes? You bathe and brush your teeth every day? If it is a kingsize bed there is plenty of room. Cuddling is cool, however, do you understand the law of physics about two objects not being able to share the same space? Keep moving closer to us after there is physical contact, we are gonna move, eventually off the bed. I hate sharing a bed. What is the function of making a bed in the morning? Okay, straighten the sheets, covers, pillows, we are not having a military inspection after all. I just throw a sleeping bag over the mattress. At most, you use two pillows at night, now would you explain why putting a dozen pillows on a bed that are just going to be thrown on the floor to make room for people to actually sleep in the bed. Again, no argument. Five pair of jeans, four nice shirts, three flannels for winter, one nice jacket for formal wear, work boots, dress boots, tennis shoes. Add to that three or four sweat shirts, six pocket tees, and a few wife beaters. One complete wardrobe. So explain the necessity of a wardrobe that will allow you to change outfits, shoes and purses four times a day every day of the month. Do you really need all those clothes and shoes? 12 pairs of black nurses pants (cheaper than chef's pants) and 12 tee shirts (mostly black or white) allow me to go for at least a week between loads of laundry. I stockpile socks and underwear for the same reason. I currently own only one pair of jeans, but hey... I will own as many damn shoes as I want. I'm not an animal! Why does the closet space ratio regardless of how many closets in the room always seem to be 75 to 1 in favor of women? Don't know, but why is the reverse true of refrigerator space? why do we need a plate or paper towed to make a sandwich on? If the counter is clean, why dirty up a plate? Because I go on to eat the sandwich in bed, and the napkin helps to contain the crumbs. what is the problem with keeping the coffee pot full? Nothing. What is the problem with drinking cold coffee the day after you made it? what is the difference between good china (only used for holidays) and the every day stuff? I'll tell you if I ever stop using paper plates. why go ballistic if a guy grabs a fork, pokes something in a non stick pan to taste it? Because those pans are expensive. Duh. Ever try to cook an omelette in a nonstick pan that wasn't actually nonstick? why does a coffee cup we always use need a complete wash at the end of the day? what is wrong with rinsing it out? What's wrong with not rinsing it out? Why is it so important where the silverware goes? Well, it is important that it does not go on the floor. Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression? See, now you're just making shit up. We put down cardboard, with a towel on top of that, plus an old sheet, so why get spastic because we are rebuilding a carb on the coffee table while the game, race, or victoria's secret special is on? Nothing, as long as the coffee table is not glass. You knew we did these things before you decided we were "the one" so why are you making a fuss after you move in? Have you ever actually spoken to a woman, or are you just borrowing tired jokes from sitcoms?

metamorfosis -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 11:31:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 what pray tell is wrong with this couch? Nothing. That is a rad couch.

LadyPact -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/12/2013 11:45:08 PM)
I have a few questions for the women on these boards, that it is time they are answered, I am sure the other males around here are curious as well. I will break them down to specific categories. Bathroom. 1) what difference does it make how the toilet paper goes on the roll? For that matter what is wrong with leaving on the counter beside the sink, it is still within reach. It's to stop from smacking your hand on the wall when it's rolled under. God help you if I break a nail in doing so. And, by the way, I stand 5'2" so depending on what you consider "within reach" to you might not be to Me. For the record, MP is the bigger TP nazi in our house. 2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise. I take it you've never encountered that 'sinking feeling' in the middle of the night. 3) Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes? It's a hair thing. The hair has to stay in the towel for roughly ten minutes. Kill the tangles, at least another five minutes. Mousse application, blow drying, and styling. That's an easy thirty minutes right there. Bedroom 1) If it is a kingsize bed there is plenty of room. Cuddling is cool, however, do you understand the law of physics about two objects not being able to share the same space? Keep moving closer to us after there is physical contact, we are gonna move, eventually off the bed. I'll give you this one because I prefer having My own side of the bed to Myself as well. 2) What is the function of making a bed in the morning? Okay, straighten the sheets, covers, pillows, we are not having a military inspection after all. It gives Me a shot at an even playing field of getting to keep the damn sheet and him a fair shot at the blanket that I like to steal. 3) At most, you use two pillows at night, now would you explain why putting a dozen pillows on a bed that are just going to be thrown on the floor to make room for people to actually sleep in the bed. You get this one, too. There are exactly four pillows on our bed. (Two per person.) We won't talk about how many pillows I have on the couch. 4) Closet space. A. Five pair of jeans, four nice shirts, three flannels for winter, one nice jacket for formal wear, work boots, dress boots, tennis shoes. Add to that three or four sweat shirts, six pocket tees, and a few wife beaters. One complete wardrobe. So explain the necessity of a wardrobe that will allow you to change outfits, shoes and purses four times a day every day of the month. Do you really need all those clothes and shoes? Yes, I really do need the clothes and the shoes. There are work clothes, cleaning clothes, candle making clothes, clothes that are for going out in, and by the way, did you happen to forget My leather? B. Why does the closet space ratio regardless of how many closets in the room always seem to be 75 to 1 in favor of women? Ha! I got ya! We have more closet space in this house than we've ever had before. We both have equal closet space in our bedroom and the spare bedroom upstairs. A third closet is all of the winter coats and his uniforms. Yes, he actually has more closet space. Kitchen 1) why do we need a plate or paper towed to make a sandwich on? If the counter is clean, why dirty up a plate? Because if you leave crumbs on My clean kitchen counter, you are at the risk of bodily harm. (I'm kind of surprised you asked this one, considering other threads regarding your kitchen.) 2) what is the problem with keeping the coffee pot full? The only reason I even own a coffee pot is for when people come over. The first ten years MP and I were together, we never owned one because neither of us drink it. If you want the coffee to be any good, you might want to consider making it yourself if you visit. 3) what is the difference between good china (only used for holidays) and the every day stuff? Generally? Cost and quality. 4) why go ballistic if a guy grabs a fork, pokes something in a non stick pan to taste it? Because if you scratch that teflon, thereby making future foods stick to the pan, which also makes them harder to clean........ Again, risk of bodily harm is involved. 5) why does a coffee cup we always use need a complete wash at the end of the day? what is wrong with rinsing it out? Because it's disgusting. Even though we don't drink coffee, there are at least twenty cups in this house. While yours is in the dishwasher, I'm pretty sure you can find another one. (Are you noticing a theme with the kitchen answers?) Dining room Why is it so important where the silverware goes? You're really asking this of a formal protocol type person? General 1) Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression? That has everything to do with Me not wanting to listen about what a bum you looked like when mom/friend/whoever came over. 2) We put down cardboard, with a towel on top of that, plus an old sheet, so why get spastic because we are rebuilding a carb on the coffee table while the game, race, or victoria's secret special is on? That's because I don't want My living room smelling like a dang carburetor for the next three days. There isn't enough pledge and fabreeze in the house to remove the smell any sooner than that. Oh, and if you scratch it, you're buying Me a new one. Finally You knew we did these things before you decided we were "the one" so why are you making a fuss after you move in? The truth is that most males are 'fixer upper' opportunities. We women already know this. We also know that, sooner or later, you're going to get tired of listening to us bitch and just accept our reprogramming of you. The little stuff, you'll just find that it's easier to just do it and keep the harmony humming along. I hope this was informative.

eulero83 -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/13/2013 1:59:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise. it's a safety net, probably for some kind of distance perception impairment, my ex girlfriend used to get stuck in the toilet every time she took a pee in the middle of the night and the sit was up. quote: 3) Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes? I really hope the answer to this is masturbation quote: 1) why do we need a plate or paper towed to make a sandwich on? If the counter is clean, why dirty up a plate? cleaning the counter is harder than a plate but the proper object to make a sandwich is a chopping board quote: 2) what is the problem with keeping the coffee pot full? to me the problem is drinking that dirty water instead of a proper coffe quote: 3) what is the difference between good china (only used for holidays) and the every day stuff? price quote: 5) why does a coffee cup we always use need a complete wash at the end of the day? what is wrong with rinsing it out? if the color inside is black brown and maybe even blue navy there is no problem at all, if it's white... quote: 1) Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression? she could keep a handsome and well dressed man to show when there are guests like with the good china

ShaharThorne -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/13/2013 4:50:43 AM)
The seat is automatically down since it is just Mom and I, I got short hair so no hair products, I sleep in a full size bed; I don't make it and I have only 3 pillows on it. We use paper plates half the time so we don't have to wash too much dishes (drought season), the china is suppose to be for special occasions but when I am having a steak and potato, I will use one. I loathe coffee and get sick when Mom makes a pot.

Rule -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/13/2013 5:11:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 1) Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression? It usually is the duty of the female to keep the house in good order and clean. Males are part of the house. Ergo the female has the duty to keep the male in good order and clean. Therefore the male obviously must change his shirt. It is simple logic. quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 2) We put down cardboard, with a towel on top of that, plus an old sheet, so why get spastic because we are rebuilding a carb on the coffee table while the game, race, or victoria's secret special is on? It usually is the duty of the female to keep the house in good order and clean. Rebuilding a carb on the coffee table is a messy business. Therefore the male obviously must not rebuild a carb on the coffee table. It is simple logic.

jlf1961 -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/13/2013 5:32:03 AM)
Actually, metamorfosis, everyone of these questions are from my own experience. Now granted as for the toilet seat, since I have gotten blu, a pit pup, every toilet seat in the house is down. No, he does not try to drink out of the bowl, he tries to freaking swim in it. If you dont close the bathroom door securely when you take a shower, you will have company in the shower. Run a bath for Damian, my 20 month old great nephew, and he wants in the tub with him (doesnt help that Damian wants Blu in the tub too.) My sister and I are buying a house together, since most of the dogs want to sleep in her room at night, she has the master. She has a walk in closet that is 14 feet wide, 6 deep, two doors. I have two closets in my room. One of them is presently the storage area for five contractor bats full of her stuffed animals that cant be left out because the dogs dont eat them, they just hide them.

jlf1961 -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/13/2013 5:36:15 AM)
You ladies also know that there are questions that you want answered about us as well.

Rule -> RE: Questions that would get me killed if they knew where to find me (9/13/2013 6:14:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? If the toilet seat is down, one cannot see if a spider is hiding underneath it.

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