quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot

Sometimes even when one takes full responsibility for their mistake and goes through incredible lengths to change themselves to ensure it never happens again, the damage is done, the other can't forgive or forget and the relationship dies. All due to an unintentional mistake.
That is the real world.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

I was in my late 20's and decided to try a full TPE relationship. I found that it was not much different than how I looked at and handled my relationships anyway. I thought that if the female involved knew what the relationship was going to be that it would make things so much better. That relationship failed, I made many of the same mistakes that I had in previous relationships. The new one I made was that I did something that emotionally damaged the girl whom I was supposed to be the master of. It was downright sobering, and I went into a lengthy period of introspection and realized I had been doing circles because I had been refusing to accept responsibility. I made a determination then that part of my personal ethics would always be to accept responsibility, and be accountability for what I am supposed to do. Only then can we learn from our mistakes and grow.

I also did a lot of reading into it at that time and learned many people do not accept responsibility because denial is used so they dodge it and their ego is not damaged. Most have a fragile ego or issues with their self esteem that will not allow them to.

Not sure if it is for the same reason with your former, but thought I would add my anecdote from a man that used to blame others and other things, rather than accept responsibility.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

It is nice to read about Doms who take ownership over their fuck ups.

After being with someone for so long that never once admitted anything and always tried to blame me or anything that would let him avoid any self analysis, this has risen to the top of things desired in a man.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Taking ownership over your mistakes is essential. Anyone can play the blame game, but it takes guts to admit that you are wrong. This is why I carry "My Fault" insurance.

I have no problem whatsoever admitting a mistake, error, disaster, or place where I have gone astray. I feel no shame for making mistakes, but that is not to say that I am not humbled, or embarrassed when I make them. During my life I have had to take good, hard looks at myself and admit devastating truths about my own character defects and places where I have made some seriously bad decisions. I have worked damn hard on correcting my mistakes and to learn how not to make the same one again.

When I was younger, I had this tendency to speak my mind before filtering it through the question, "Is this the right thing to say, in this manner?" I got tired of the taste of my foot in my mouth so I changed this. I still speak my mind, but I have a process that I go through mentally to temper what I say for clarity and tact. This sometimes frustrated people that I talk with because I sometimes pause for long periods of time before I say something, but when it finally comes out of my mouth, it usually is something that I want to say and not something that I will instantly regret. This is just one example of what I have learned from previous mistakes.

So, I make mistakes. I know this shocks people, but there it is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO
For me, someone simply saying that they acknowledge they were wrong is a good start, but not necessarily enough.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressLily

^Wow^ I have to say I'm impressed.

A few weeks ago I was reading some material having to do with human nature, one of my favorite fields. Over-simplification, but besides subcategories, there are 4 categories of lovers according to this template:

o The Giving Dominant (Dom-G)
o The Receiving Dominant (Dom-R)
o The Giving Submissive (Sub-G)
o The Receiving Submissive (Sub-R)

I have a self-professed masochistic lesbian friend who is seeking a "Kind" Sadist. Admittedly, I'm no expert on this, however, there must be a direct correlation between discipline/punishment styles and which overall type of D/s modality one operates under. RS, I have no clue whether you would fall under the umbrella of a Kind Sadist--how you run your household does fall along the lines of a Giving Dominant.

_____________________________

* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

quote:

I have a self-professed masochistic lesbian friend who is seeking a "Kind" Sadist. Admittedly, I'm no expert on this, however, there must be a direct correlation between discipline/punishment styles and which overall type of D/s modality one operates under. RS, I have no clue whether you would fall under the umbrella of a Kind Sadist--how you run your household does fall along the lines of a Giving Dominant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

My question was more for the Dominant who was not being responsible; what options did the submissive have aside from leaving.

You got a bit of that? Replies from openly irresponsible dominants, I mean?

Sigh, guess I'm gonna hafta go back and read through this semi-necro thread again.... lol

Focus.