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Another profile critique please - 9/21/2013 11:33:52 PM   
SymbolicFlame


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/21/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings to all!

I worked on profile this evening and now am asking you, the gentle Dom and Domme to take a view. Please tell me what you liked and how I could improve it! Thank you in advance.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 1:16:13 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I would say that if you are just looking for a play partner, it is fine. There's a lot of details about the kinks you will and won't indulge in, which would be handy if I was just looking for someone to do a scene with me.

But your opening makes me think you are looking for a romantic relationship as well, and in that case you need to put something more about who you are and what you are looking for outside the bedroom.

I'd take out the huge checklist and the limits list - just keep them ready for when it comes up naturally in conversation. Start with who you are - personality, interests, dreams, life circumstances. Then what you seek - LTR? Eventual 24/7 TPE? Slap-and-tickle in the bedroom and equals outside? Fuck buddies? Next it's WHO you seek - someone adventurous or a quiet type? Someone who loves animals, had a great sense of humour, enjoys a political debate over breakfast? Lastly, if you want to, talk about kink, but just hit the highlights, they don't need to know your opinion of every type of spanking implement to know whether you are worth talking to. Leave something to talk about later. Example: 'I really enjoy spanking and role play scenes, and I am curious about playing at a public event for the first time.' Three sentences or so for each section is enough.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to SymbolicFlame)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 7:25:09 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Personally, I'd scrap the whole thing. I'm very much against profiles that are created as just copy/paste from somewhere else spotlighted by the fact that they aren't even centered properly. Having to drag down to the bottom of the page just to read some test results from some assessment from elsewhere doesn't score well in the 'talk like a human being' department.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 7:37:27 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		1. The checklist - delete it.

2. I like your pic. The way your shirt opens looks a bit like a heart shape.

3. Proofread your profile. You have a list of had limits and your Fetname appears in the middle of it.

4. The profile essentially says "I want to be spanked, and here are my limits". Your profile should say what makes you tick, what your interests are, and what kind of woman you want, not just a hand holding a paddle.

5. You're looking for a Dominant lesbian kinkwoman in Kansas. Good luck.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 9:55:59 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

enjoys a political debate over breakfast?


Talk about a way to start the day!!


Good advice for you in this thread, OP. Welcome and best of luck to you!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 10:06:37 AM   
StrictlyADomina


Posts: 103
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline 		The photo is fine. I might suggest adding in the profile area non-kinky things you enjoy, maybe add what you are looking for in a partner. Removing all the extra spaces will help it to read better.
Good Luck

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 8:46:40 PM   
SymbolicFlame


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/21/2006
Status: offline 		Hello again! Thank you all for your advice. I totally scrapped what I had and started over. So if you would please take another look, I appreciate it!

(in reply to StrictlyADomina)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 8:58:22 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Just jumping in here, and without knowing what the first incarnation looked like, this looks very good to me. It shows a real person. I think it's a winner, and the pic is very good too. Best of luck with finding someone and getting your MLS, too.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to SymbolicFlame)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 9:02:37 PM   
SymbolicFlame


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/21/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you!

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/22/2013 9:38:35 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Wow. Your profile is a LOT better.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SymbolicFlame)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Another profile critique please - 9/23/2013 5:42:32 AM   
SymbolicFlame


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/21/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 11
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