RE: Changing times.....

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Changing times.....

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Changing times.....

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Changing times..... - 9/27/2013 7:18:54 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

To elaborate a bit, if I "walk into a room" and whatever's going on there is well under control then I'm just one of the crowd. If, however, there is confusion then pretty quickly people will start looking to me. Now obviously there must be something in my body language or patterns of speech which make this occur but it's not intentional. In my mind this is exactly what the phrase "natural born leader" means... or at least the most obvious outward indication of it.

This is different then when there is already a well organized group and for whatever reasons I want to take it over. Then there is a power contest and someone wins and someone loses.

Hey, if I walk into a room where there is confusion (or am part of a group that is tasked with getting something done), people quickly look to me to organize, decide and lead, too. I have serious leadership abilities (do I sound pompous? Oh well. When's the last time you wrangled 30-40 teenagers and got them to concentrate on one specific task that they find difficult/have little interest in?). But no one has ever accused me of Dom-liness.

But I exert my super powers only in a power vacuum (or my own classroom). When the power contest you mention seems nigh, I am glad to let someone else take the lead. (I guess that disqualifies me from twue Domliness)

So, basically, I agree with you- leadership skills and personal charisma are not necessarily traits of Doms.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 21

RE: Changing times..... - 9/27/2013 7:21:01 PM

SweetAnise

Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline

Welcome and it is nice that you expressed your journey. But might I suggest using your journal for these insightful reflections?

(in reply to KYsissy)

Post #: 22

RE: Changing times..... - 9/27/2013 11:42:47 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterTitlis
I was simply sharing a moment in time. It was not taken from others writing nor was it implied anyone should refer to Me as Master. This is a position I have earned as all those who know Me would validate or confirm as well as "Trainer". We are born who We/we are, whether Dom or other. I did not realize their were such superficial egos here? Hense My point, about changing times, available information on the internet and its' validity.

Just an FYI, it's W/we not We/we. We we sounds like what little kids do when they piss.

As far as the forum's reactions to you and why they perceive you as a pompous ass, it is because coming here and proclaiming you were a "true Dom" at age 7 is a silly thing to say to a bunch of seasoned lifestyle folk. The whole "true" Dom aspect requires that you believe there are false Doms . . . meaning you know the "one true way" and the false Doms don't . . . and at the age of 7. The "one true way" violates the "i'm OK you're ok" pretext of an open minded social group. Basically, you stuck both feet firmly in your mouth before you made through the opening paragraph of your thread.

So I understand using the word "true" outside the leather community is very different . . . I use the word myself and I love a "true" sports car. So I read further with an open mind. By the time I got through the second paragraph about your family and schoolmates all being your submissives, I could clearly see you do not appear know the difference between dominance and leadership or that they are not necessarily connected. It's like the other thread someone wrote saying that all masochists are submissive . . . it is a foolish perspective to those of us that know better.

In the forth paragraph you state that you have worked with and/or trained thousands of people. At this point, it looks like you are masturbating your ego . . . in public. So you got the same reception from your audience most people who masturbate in public get.

By the time we get to your point about being patient and learning about BDSM from a sample of your own experiences, you have discredited yourself as an adviser. Which is a shame, because it truly is good advice, no matter how poorly you presented it.

I hope you take your own advice and learn from your experience here that you shouldn't play with yourself (or your ego) in public. We all have valuable experiences to share and this is a great place to share them and learn from others.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to MasterTitlis)

Post #: 23

RE: Changing times..... - 9/28/2013 6:18:28 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

A bit arrogant

but aren't doms arrogant sometimes?

One point that is true I find, is there are people out there, when they enter a room, it is sensed even if your back is turned and everyone takes notice.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 24

RE: Changing times..... - 9/28/2013 8:11:57 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
So, basically, I agree with you- leadership skills and personal charisma are not necessarily traits of Doms.

Two separate points and thanks for bringing up the other one. Insofar as you sharing my experience, thanks. I didn't think I was talking about some far out thing. It seemed pretty normal.

To the question of leadership skills and charisma being the sole domain of doms, that sort of depends on what you mean by dominant. If you coupled those two things with a desire to use them then I'd say yup, that's a dominant personality. As we all know, plenty of dominant personalities choose to submit in the context of their relationship. That's why I refer to the difference between social d/s and relational/BDSM D/s.

I just thought OP was getting incorrectly ripped on that point. Yes, some people do walk into rooms and more or less automatically assume a vacant leadership position --- and with some effort can assume a non-vacant one.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 25

RE: Changing times..... - 9/28/2013 12:30:20 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

OP

You do realize that you come across as a pompous ass hat who clearly is clueless as how to play well with others. Those group of strangers that spoke with you. In my lil world we call that "polite conversation", ya know make the "new guy" feel welcome. It was not because somehow magically within a couple of minutes all of these ppl considered you a <what was the word you used> Ah yes "true Dom"

For the most part the posters are a friendly bunch..except the ones that aren't. So if you tone down your BS ppl may respond in a positive manner.

BadOne

Lmao

I agree completely with what was said by Badone.... But I find it extremely funny that its coming from a guy that is acut to the chase a spade is a spade kind a guy. Just didn't see him defending this group of misfits lol

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 26

RE: Changing times..... - 9/28/2013 12:38:15 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterTitlis

About 31 years ago clarity was given to Me with what I had been struggling with since I was 7. I was a true Dom. This came to light in a conversation I had over drinks with a friend and his wife. She was much older than him and She is a Domme. She and I had an instant chemistry as if We/We had been cut from the same cloth.

........

I just couldn't read past this first paragraph...?. Just couldn't get past the idea of true Dom.... That just well. Conveys all the attitude that I am not interested in exposing myself too!

Hopefully....the next 31 years ago you will learn a few more things than your a true Dom

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MasterTitlis)

Post #: 27

RE: Changing times..... - 9/28/2013 1:19:36 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Really, really good point.

As a dom I'm principally attracted to strong assertive women.. just the kind who would inspire respect.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to KYsissy)

Post #: 28

RE: Changing times..... - 9/28/2013 4:21:14 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

A bit arrogant but aren't doms arrogant sometimes?

Arrogance tempered with self-awareness is not always a bad thing.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 29

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 1:09:51 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

To elaborate a bit, if I "walk into a room" and whatever's going on there is well under control then I'm just one of the crowd. If, however, there is confusion then pretty quickly people will start looking to me.

It could be your metamorphosis into a silverback. I could be wrong. I'll ask Kafka.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 30

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 4:34:35 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 31

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 4:59:11 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

.

LOL littlewonder that is the most promising Dom I have ever seen on CollarMe. Hook me up.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 32

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 5:45:47 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

.

LOL littlewonder that is the most promising Dom I have ever seen on CollarMe. Hook me up.

Oh, yeah? I could make more promises than him ANY day!!!!!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to lilcracker)

Post #: 33

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 7:17:52 AM

littleone14

Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

.

I'm already submissive to two cats. It's how they get their litter box cleaned.......

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 34

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 7:26:01 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Really, really good point.

As a dom I'm principally attracted to strong assertive women.. just the kind who would inspire respect.

Because what fun is it climbing an anthill.
Most especially when Everest looms.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 35

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 8:35:10 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

A bit arrogant but aren't doms arrogant sometimes?

Arrogance tempered with self-awareness is not always a bad thing.

I find people that have confidence and self awareness is often confused to be arrogant by those that are not confident or all that self aware.

I also find arrogance to be a highly detracting quality and often exhibit by someone that has false confidence and is very narrow view in their own identify of self and the world around them.

Confidence has substance, arrogance has none!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 36

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 9:52:14 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

.

LOL littlewonder that is the most promising Dom I have ever seen on CollarMe. Hook me up.

Oh, yeah? I could make more promises than him ANY day!!!!!

He's cuter though DS and looks more cuddly.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 37

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 4:30:36 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

That cat must have realized he was a twue Dom back when he was an itty bitty kitten with his eyes still sealed shut.

(in reply to lilcracker)

Post #: 38

RE: Changing times..... - 9/29/2013 5:21:22 PM

littleone14

Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

That cat must have realized he was a twue Dom back when he was an itty bitty kitten with his eyes still sealed shut.

I wonder if kitty subs are the ones who were weaned too early......

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 39

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Changing times.....

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109