RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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MariaB -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/5/2014 6:34:56 AM)
I have known a few people who are narcissists and perhaps the odd sociopath. The disturbing thing is, so long as they want/need something from you, they will portray themselves as wonderful people. They are so freaking convincing too! An ex was narcissistic for sure but he wasn't an overly bright narcissist and so it became apparent fairly quickly. A clever narcissist is a whole other animal. When I look back at what I thought was a healthy and cherished friendship, I have to admit there were many clues that should of warned me off. The way she treated her partner, the way she spoke about her family, the way she could turn vindictive to others if she felt confronted. When you have invested in a friendship, too often you brush aside the warning bells. For some time after my brush with danger and I say danger because I consider the fall out was a dangerous place to be, I became quite paranoid about a persons real identity. Why were such people attracted to me? what was it I had that they wanted? It took me a long time to trust and believe in Steve (poor guy, he was so patient) because after that woman, everyone in my world was under suspicion. I think we can read too much about personality disorders and I think we can become a little too paranoid. So long as we learn to embrace and listen to our intuition, we will be in a better place to spot this sort of person.

LorraineCA -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/5/2014 5:51:06 PM)
Do you have a codependency personality? Narcissists love that!

MariaB -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/6/2014 3:55:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LorraineCA Do you have a codependency personality? Narcissists love that! No but I did have something they wanted. At the time I was the promoter of a large fetish/BDSM club in London. Being close to me ensured they got some recognition from the fet and BDSM crowd. Basically they wanted their egos stroking. When you are working in the lime light you get used to people trying to climb on your back and I think I was fairly proficient in managing those sort of people. Narcissists can be much more cunning.

Kana -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/6/2014 4:34:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB No but I did have something they wanted. At the time I was the promoter of a large fetish/BDSM club in London. Being close to me ensured they got some recognition from the fet and BDSM crowd. Basically they wanted their egos stroking. When you are working in the lime light you get used to people trying to climb on your back and I think I was fairly proficient in managing those sort of people. Narcissists can be much more cunning. Yep. Found that out when I worked in politics. All to oft, narcissist=vampire. They suck what they need out of a situation then move on. And if they leave a few empty husks behind, drained dry, ohthefuckwell

LorraineCA -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/6/2014 7:57:44 AM)
I have family members and friends who are narcissistic and in no way do I enable their behaviors, but they all have good points about them too. They are not monsters with super powers. I always like to think of a continuum of Narcissists on one end and Codependent on the other. We all have behaviors of each and it's best to veer in the middle. It's only natural to have our best interest at heart. It's only natural to look out for your friend/lover and make sacrifices. But being on either end is unhealthy.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/9/2014 8:54:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LorraineCA I have family members and friends who are narcissistic and in no way do I enable their behaviors, but they all have good points about them too. They are not monsters with super powers. I always like to think of a continuum of Narcissists on one end and Codependent on the other. We all have behaviors of each and it's best to veer in the middle. It's only natural to have our best interest at heart. It's only natural to look out for your friend/lover and make sacrifices. But being on either end is unhealthy. I like the way you look at that. I always want to see the best in people...and I DO believe that everyone has SOME good trait. Also, too often people "grab" onto a psych issue and use it as a justification for their behavior or for not taking steps to help themselves. You know...."sorry I can't do volunteer work...I am a narcissist " or "you should not have trusted me to be a faithful spouse..I am a sex addict"

LorraineCA -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/9/2014 5:39:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss I like the way you look at that. I always want to see the best in people...and I DO believe that everyone has SOME good trait. Also, too often people "grab" onto a psych issue and use it as a justification for their behavior or for not taking steps to help themselves. You know...."sorry I can't do volunteer work...I am a narcissist " or "you should not have trusted me to be a faithful spouse..I am a sex addict" Thank you TieMeInKnotts. I agree with you 100%. Another favorite one of mine is, "Why did you hit him/her?" "It's not my fault I've been drinking too much." Or, "Why did you go through the Stop Sign without stopping?" "Well, I've had a few shots before I got in the car so give me a break." People make excuses for their behaviors due to a condition. Well, at least they recognize their error. Most people don't even recognize it and it's never their fault.

windchymes -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/9/2014 8:19:01 PM)
People with true Narcissistic Personality Disorder rarely benefit from professional help because, being who they are, do not think there is anything wrong with them, the grandiose self-importance, the sense of entitlement. The rest of the world is wrong, they're not. You have to be want to be helped and be willing to try to change, but they don't. It's not in them. They don't see it. True narcissists don't make excuses for their behavior because they don't think they need to.

littlewonder -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/9/2014 8:22:27 PM)
Lorraine, these people you say are narcissists, were they diagnosed as such by a mental health physician? I think a lot of people really don't understand the difference between the mental diagnosis and the "he likes to think of himself a lot". They are not anywhere near the same thing.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (1/12/2014 7:34:26 PM)
Dual diagnosis can also be known as co-occuring disorder. This is per the Canadian Mental Health Association. It combines a psychiatric illness as well as a developmental disability and has nothing to do with substance abuse.

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