Masochism Vrs Submissive

Masochism Vrs Submissive (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

casidi75 -> Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 2:40:09 PM)
I would like to run this by the group to get a concensus. I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist. I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame. I think the submissive can get in at any point of their life and at any level. It an opinion. I would like to hear what others think.

searching4mysir -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 2:42:31 PM)
A dominant can be a masochist as well. "I want you to beat me with THIS flogger on my back and buttocks, THIS hard and for THIS many strokes". Masochism is about the sensations, not necessarily about submission.

LadyPact -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 2:46:21 PM)
What makes you think a masochist is "most certain a submissive?" Do you not know anybody who enjoys pain/sensation/bondage just for the sake of doing it? Do you know know any Dominants who bottom for their own enjoyment? Don't you know anybody who engages in BDSM without it being sexual? I don't see many bottoms who are "laced with guilt and shame." Since the original asks about "group" consensus, I'm glad I'm in a different group.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 2:53:13 PM)
I'm a submissive AND a masochist. And i'm not a product of early childhood sexual abuse. And there is no guilt or shame attached to my masochism - just joy and fufilment. When my sweetie and I are playing we are having a lot of fun, and doing what is natural for each of us. Trust me, no guilt , no shame involved. So , for me, your opinion is wrong. and for the record, I don't know any masochists who were abused sexually as a kid. Just saying.

lizi -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 2:54:43 PM)
While I can see the roots of where your opinion may have come from, I do not agree. I know people that are Dominant and masochistic, and I don't think I"ve met anyone who is masochistic out of guilt and shame. I think you need to expand your circle of acquaintances perhaps, if indeed you know anyone in person that these observations apply to, or if you're just going off of what you've read.

Kana -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 2:55:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: casidi75 I would like to run this by the group to get a concensus. Is that like a consensus? quote: I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist. Not even kinda sorta. As in where do you think the term Smart Ass Maso came from. There's lots of peep who ain't a whit submissive yet are hardcore masos. quote: I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame. Wrong. Blatantly stereotyped and insulting to boot quote: I think the submissive can get in at any point of their life and at any level. Maybe,but in general I suspect one would have a much better chance of convincing a maso to serve than a wallflowers to let me nail her nipples to the wall and do some chastity sewing.That's a whole lot of convincing there... quote: It an opinion. That it is. quote: I would like to hear what others think. No. No you don't.

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 2:58:12 PM)
Great Insight

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:00:01 PM)
I was owned for 25 years and only had one dominatrix. Inexperience I guess

OsideGirl -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:00:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: casidi75 I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist. Nope, I have a friend who is a masochist and has absolutely no interest in being submissive. She likes the sensations and the endorphins. Period. quote: I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame. Wrong again. I was not ever abused. Everyone processes pain differently. Example: I find a deep tissue massage to be one of the most excruciating things on the face of planet. Other people find them deeply enjoyable. quote: I would like to hear what others think. I think you're grasping at straws, trying justify something.

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:07:10 PM)
Im getting an education Thank you for your explanation

theshytype -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:08:42 PM)
My opinion: Someone can be one without the other, neither, or both. I like a little bit of pain because it makes me all tingly inside and/or momentarily relieves stress. A rush similar to driving fast or riding a roller coaster. I have never been abused and don't need to be to desire that rush. And it also has nothing to do with being submissive, for me.

LadyPact -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:17:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: casidi75 I was owned for 25 years and only had one dominatrix. Inexperience I guess Twenty-five minutes with a good non-fiction BDSM book might teach you more than she obviously did.

lilcracker -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:20:42 PM)
When I was in a masochistic mode, I was far from submissive....it was all about me and the sensations I felt. Most of the time, it was a selfish sort of state because I could have cared less if he was getting off or if I was pleasing him. Occasionally now I get to that point, if he is spanking me especially hard in a non traditional fashion like on the thighs which I dislike when I am not in a masochist mode, and then I am in my own little world, just focusing on the sensation of it all. In addition to the sensation, I like the head space it gives because there is like nothing going on in my mind other than the pain, it's like everything else leaves my mind but that.

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:22:30 PM)
Your on target I only have me as a reference and I am hoping here I will expand my aquaintances and awareness. Clearly I have been under a rock and clueless about it all Oh well It is great people are willing to speak up I welcome the imput. It been my life it about time I learn something about BDSM

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:24:37 PM)
Im starting to get it. I love the rush of adrenalin and then the soak of endorfins. Thanks

lilcracker -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:29:23 PM)
quote: I don't know any masochists who were abused sexually as a kid I was and I do think my submissive personality was groomed by this however, I have never thought my masochistic side was...simply because for me...the mind fuck that came with the sexual abuse was worse than the abuse itself. (my mom blamed me for it.) Yet, I could have still had a submissive personality if I had never been sexually abused. It's one of those things that can not really be proved or disproved since there are many who are masochists or submissive who have never been abused and many people who have been abused and never had interest in being either.

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:30:42 PM)
This seems to be the concensus I not sorry I asked everyone has been so forthcoming Thanks for your time

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:33:10 PM)
Wow I didnt intend to insult anyone and that nipple action is beyond my scope thanks for the feedback

casidi75 -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:34:26 PM)
Any sugestions for a book

LadyPact -> RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive (9/26/2013 3:37:15 PM)
There is a sticky at the top of this forum for books. The Bottoming Book: How to Get Terrible Things Done to You by Wonderful People by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt Catherine & Dossie give us another great book. It is short and concise and very helpful. The sections on the psychological effects are particularly well explained. The authors repeatedly validate the experience of the person-as-bottom, whether that person identifies solely as a bottom or as a top who desires to experience bottoming, or as the in-betweener who likes it all.

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125