Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

video's


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> video's Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
video's - 10/1/2013 6:07:51 PM   
scorpio1387


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/16/2013
Status: offline 		it was requested of me to make a video where im playing with myself in various poses ive never done this before how on earth can i i want to but i know ill freeze or ill feel so much stress or ackwardness how can i find the confidence to do what im asked to do???
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: videos - 10/1/2013 6:55:15 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		If it is your husband who asked you to make the video, share your concerns with him.

If it is anybody else - don't do it. The risks are not worth it.

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: videos - 10/1/2013 7:01:40 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
If it is anybody else - don't do it. The risks are not worth it.

What???? How exactly does she run a risk if the camera only shows her vagina?

I have no idea whether she should do it or not, but I can think of a ton of scenarios where it would be a Good Thing (tm). If she sees her vagina as bad, or dirty, it's a way to turn it into art.

Maybe give us some more information, OP? Did this request come from someone who knows you in real life, and has demonstrated care for you? Do you plan to show your face? (I wouldn't.) Stuff like that.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: videos - 10/1/2013 8:21:03 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Have you met this guy?

Really want your friends and family want to see this? Because once it goes on the net, it can go anywhere.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: videos - 10/1/2013 9:06:28 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Make sure there's nothing personally or family identifiable in the background.
(Like the naked guy in his profile pic with his family's portraits on the mantle as he poses in front of his fireplace.)

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: videos - 10/1/2013 9:15:10 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

Make sure there's nothing personally or family identifiable in the background.
(Like the naked guy in his profile pic with his family's portraits on the mantle as he poses in front of his fireplace.)

But that makes it even MORE special, dontcha know?

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: videos - 10/1/2013 9:26:23 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

Make sure there's nothing personally or family identifiable in the background.
(Like the naked guy in his profile pic with his family's portraits on the mantle as he poses in front of his fireplace.)

But that makes it even MORE special, dontcha know?


It's one of my favorite pics. He's got his elderly parents sitting next to his shoulder. I'm sure they'd be proud to be on CM, helping him find his soulmate.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 12:54:17 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scorpio1387

it was requested of me to make a video where im playing with myself in various poses ive never done this before how on earth can i i want to but i know ill freeze or ill feel so much stress or ackwardness how can i find the confidence to do what im asked to do???


OK well freezing up isn't too much of an issue. If it's pre-recorded, you can stop the camera for as long as you need to.

I guess the question is, why do you feel stressed or awkward?

I have done things like this and I really hate it. I'm pretty sexually liberated but everything about this sort of set up feels cheap and icky to me. For me, the answer was 'shut up and submit'. I just had to get it over with and accept that submission sometimes means doing things you don't like. HOWEVER without knowing more about your situation I can't advise you to do the same. It's different for me since I have years of trust built in him - I know there's no chance of rejection, or the videos being used inappropriately. I also know for sure he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and he'll be there to make me feel better afterwards. Since I don't know how long you've been with this person and what type of relationship you have, I don't know whether to tell you 'get it over with' or 'run a mile'. If this is online only, if you've been pressured into this before you are ready, if he doesn't seem to care that it upsets you, run. If you have a lot of trust, if he is working with you to overcome the insecurities, if you've been together for years and are very happy, then do it.

But as the others have said - NOTHING should identify you. No tattoos, no face shots, no recognizable background. You should assume ahead of time that it WILL end up plastered about online; that way you wont put anything in there that would embarrass you if your mother/kids/boss were to find it one day.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 5:02:49 AM   
scorpio1387


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/16/2013
Status: offline 		my apologies everyone i need o giv you some more info i have known this guy for several years and yes on our own level we care immensly for each other weve been together and now were functioning from a distance hence the asking for a video so yes shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do so far ive read low lights candles mabey have a drink first wich might help i just cant force myself to do things thats why hes my master i love when he makes me bend to his will i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ???

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 5:11:38 AM   
SweetAnise


Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline 		If you don't want to do it. Then don't do it. Pretty simple. No one can make you do anything. You should be able to tell this to him and he should be able to accept it. Or at least have a conversation with you about it.

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 5:59:36 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scorpio1387

my apologies everyone i need o giv you some more info i have known this guy for several years and yes on our own level we care immensly for each other weve been together and now were functioning from a distance hence the asking for a video so yes shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do so far ive read low lights candles mabey have a drink first wich might help i just cant force myself to do things thats why hes my master i love when he makes me bend to his will i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ???


Maybe you won't be able to orgasm. Just explain to him your problems. It's one thing to order someone to do something they don't want to do, but another thing to order them to do something they physically can not do. As long as you are trying, right? So do what you need to do. A drink, if that helps, sure. Music? If your face isn't going to be on camera (and it isn't, right?) then he won't see you looking nervous or bored or squicked out. Write yourself a script if you have to : two minutes of x, then I'll do y, then I'll say x, then back to x' Be an actor. Act it out.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 6:58:56 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scorpio1387

......shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do.....



Ummmmm, why does it have to result in you having an orgasm? Am I missing something?

Is all of your D/s activity done with orgasm as the final objective? Seems shallow and limiting to me.

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 7:05:20 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Would it be possible to begin getting off for him while the 2 of you are on the phone.

It can be a very vulnerable thing to be watched.

And after a few times of that, then move to the cam... with him in your ear (although i realise that holding a phone while you are doing other things might be more difficult.



_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 9:02:00 AM   
slavekate80


Posts: 362
Joined: 7/4/2013
Status: offline 		If this is something you've seriously thought about, weighing out the risks, and you still want to do it but are having trouble with it, can you discuss it with him and maybe ease into it? For example, warm up by doing still pictures first and getting used to that, or make a video where you're naked but doing something mundane and non-sexual such as making breakfast. Then work up to the original video request slowly.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: videos - 10/2/2013 10:12:24 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

my apologies everyone i need o giv you some more info i have known this guy for several years and yes on our own level we care immensly for each other weve been together and now were functioning from a distance hence the asking for a video so yes shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do so far ive read low lights candles mabey have a drink first wich might help i just cant force myself to do things thats why hes my master i love when he makes me bend to his will i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ???


Are you posting on a phone? You are virtually unreadable. I think more people would be willing to help if you were easier to understand. The only suggestion I'm willing to give at this point is to use spellcheck and make more of an effort to write clearly.

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: video's - 10/2/2013 10:50:10 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I'm with Roch on this one. Bending to his will doesn't mean you are required to
receive physical pleasure from it. I think you really want to do this, but in order to do
so successfully, your focus should be on pleasing him, not doing it in order to please
yourself. Just think of how proud he will be of you once you accomplish this task.
Doesn't that make you pretty hot?
quote:

ORIGINAL: scorpio1387
i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ???

I've been in a similar situation, and it isn't an easy thing to do, but what I've found that
helps is self objectification. Whenever I'm feeling awkward about my physical presentation
to him (is my skin soft enough, is my butt too big, etc) I try and take myself out of the
picture completely by thinking of myself as being just one hot and juicy cunt.
No ego involved at all. It's amazingly liberating.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to scorpio1387)
Profile   Post #: 16
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> video's Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094