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Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 2:27:05 PM   
Christhulhu


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/4/2013
Status: offline 		Hello everyone!

Brand new to the site and not long into kink stuff.
I'm a bit confused because as far as I know I'm a Sub male, but since looking into this site (and others like it) I'm uncertain if Sub describes me...
The Dom women's profiles seem very strict and controlling beyond play. I don't know if I'm mainly finding Doms who want slaves or what.
I was hoping to learn a bit and have a bit of fun, not hand wads of cash to strangers.

If anyone has any insight into this, I'd love to hear from you.

Much love,
Chris


PS: Sorry if anything I've written has offended anyone, it comes from a place of ignorance (I have no idea what I'm talking about really)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 2:36:44 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Welcome.

You are a young chap, and what you are looking for in the young girls they figure that is money.

Lose them and move on.

And since fucking starts in the brain, they are going to bluff their cards a great deal.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Christhulhu)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 2:45:34 PM   
ladynlord


Posts: 247
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		Welcome to the site Chris! Take a moment and reflect upon the profiles of Dominant Female profiles you have seen. They may only represent a small sampling of those who are actually here, but whose profiles are harder to "find". I assure you, not all Dommes are interested in collecting money and gifts.
Please also remember, there are a lot more sub males pleading for the attention of Dominant Females than the reverse. So much so that many Domme's admit to being turned off by this site or some of its members. So you are in a large group....trying to catch the attention of a much smaller group.
First, if being a Money sub/slave is not appealing, avoid contacting those profiles where such is mentioned or hinted at. Second, (as you said) use this site to familiarize yourself with the various aspects, levels, flavours of the kink you are interested in. The forum side is a great place to engage others and stumble across someone who thinks like you. Third, use the site not to look for someone, but instead to find events, munches, gatherings near you or in places you are willing to travel to. Then you are not "hunting" for someone in particular, but instead making friends along the way.
Good luck!

_____________________________

‘The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.’

— Mark Twain

_____________________________________________

¿uǝddɐɥ sıɥʇ pıp ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʍoɥ˙˙˙˙ǝɯ ןןǝʇ ʎpoqǝɯos

(in reply to Christhulhu)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 3:09:01 PM   
Christhulhu


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/4/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you for the help :)

I understand that I have only scratched the surface of profiles and that I'm sure there are plenty of like minded people on here. Maybe the forum side is better suited than profile trawling.
Are there really so many Sub males? wow, I had no idea. Oblivious to the scene up until 3 months ago so always learning XD

I've looked into events and munches but they scare me. I don't know what it is exactly that does this but I just feel uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's just being naive...
Tbh, meeting anyone from online kinda freaks me out. I just don't know anyone that way inclined with a matching orientation...

Thank you again,
Chris

(in reply to ladynlord)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 3:11:41 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Munches, events, go, be yourself, go with no agenda, dont slop gravy on your tie, nor stab a dominant in the eye with a fork, and you will be the belle of the ball.

It is just eating for christ's sake.


GO.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Christhulhu)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 4:21:55 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Christhulhu

I've looked into events and munches but they scare me. I don't know what it is exactly that does this but I just feel uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's just being naive...



Ever been to a bar? That's what a munch is. Everything about them is vanilla - clothes, setting, etc. Except for the people themselves.

Go for it.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Christhulhu)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 4:32:55 PM   
ladynlord


Posts: 247
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		If you go to a bar/pub on a weekend night, it is just a bunch of people having a pint with the common hope of getting laid or hope of meeting someone to get laid with in the future. Nothing to freak out about there! No reason to be uncomfortable.
Our experience has been that a munch or event is MUCH less of a "trolling fest" than the average night at the bar scene. MOST (not all) of the attendee's conduct themselves a bit better at a lifestyle house party, munch, seminar or event. Most of the others will be regular attendees and you probably will never run across them online.
Yes, I understand the fear and uncomfortable feelings. But the exits are usually clearly marked and you can leave anytime you wish. Unless you voluteer to be tied/chained/cuffed for a demonstration! But if you have done that, then you will get over the original "scare" quickly!

_____________________________

‘The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.’

— Mark Twain

_____________________________________________

¿uǝddɐɥ sıɥʇ pıp ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʍoɥ˙˙˙˙ǝɯ ןןǝʇ ʎpoqǝɯos

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/4/2013 4:40:05 PM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		Hello and welcome nice to have you join us here.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to Christhulhu)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/5/2013 1:09:25 PM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		Hi Chris,

Welcome to CM. Why not join us on the forums for friendly chat & the advice you seek? We're not a bad bunch on this side. Be wary of the scamsters on the profile side though.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

All the best, Gary.

_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to Christhulhu)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/6/2013 4:43:08 AM   
SaffronDuchess


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/27/2013
Status: offline 		Adding my 5c worth: if going to munches (which is fun and harmless if done by an established group) isn't your thing, hang out in the messaging boards. If you see a post that appeals to you, reply to it. Post something yourself and if it catches somebody's eye they may message you or reply to you. Personally, neither age, appearance or experience are most important for making friends. But when I read a post that shows a desire to communicate, compassion, wit, that's what I am interested in.

As far as FemDoms go .... It is my unverified opinion that because of our socialization good young ones probably aren't on sites like this because that's not how we work. The majority of FemDoms I know personally are rather cold and/or bitchy when they are out and playing, sorry girls. I've met one sensual (bi-sexual/Lesbian) female dominant. It was a pleasure to see her play!!! But I haven't met women who are like male Doms. I think it may have to do something with a need to assert yourself as a woman that doesn't exist for men in the same way. That's not to say that FemDoms are insecure or not dominant.

In any case, I'd go to munches, post in forums and reply to people (male, female, trans, whatever) whose posts speak to me.

(in reply to garyFLR)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Newbie and a bit confused - 10/7/2013 8:52:23 AM   
OohAahMrs


Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome Chris, you've got to be selective, there are a lot of young girls on this site, who think dominance, means money for nothing and surprisingly, there are a number of people who will hand over their cash, without question.

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to Christhulhu)
Profile   Post #: 11
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