RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (Full Version)

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SweetSarijane -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/1/2006 9:11:58 PM)

I'm not rushing things and I do have certain things I'm looking for. I'm flexible, but certain things I will not compromise on in a partner or Dom. I'm talking to one who has become a good friend and when we meet this year we will see if there's more. Until we meet in person we go no further than friendship.

I have gotten involved in my local bdsm community, made friends, go to play parties, get togethers, and bottom for non sexual s/m play. I'm ever learning and growing and am very happy with how things are going in this area of my life. I've no desire to rush into something as I have in the past, in vanilla relationships, and been badly burned and abused because of it.



sublizzie -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/1/2006 9:16:27 PM)

I'm doing the same. Meeting people both on-line and real-time. Getting involved in my local community. Playing with people to learn about various parts of S&M. Finding ways to serve and submit without giving all of myself over quite yet. Increasing my knowledge of myself and what I want while I wait for that Dom to drop into my cart while I'm grocery shopping.

Thinking maybe I should start shopping at some of the more upscale grocery stores so I have a better chance of getting an upscale Dom. Think that would work?



Wulfchyld -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/1/2006 9:18:52 PM)

Hmmm.... would that be wal-mart?



sublizzie -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/1/2006 9:20:14 PM)

Well, Wal-Mart would be better than the Goodwill Thrift shop.

Maybe the local farmer's market? Find a nice farmer Dom????



ChainedExistence -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/1/2006 11:30:59 PM)

Sometimes in looking for the " one" you miss someone who can BECOME your one. When I initially met Master , I certainly liked him and we had chemistry..but I never thought that years later, we'd be even be together, much less  as close as we are today. Over time, we grew in our relationship, forming a solid friendship, an amazing romance, and a D/s relationship that is every bit as exciting now as it was then. I think sometimes people are so busy looking for the "perfect" person, that they miss the "perfect potential."



Kedikat -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/1/2006 11:50:09 PM)

I have found it is very hard to say no to ones that are so very wonderful, but not the spark that I seek. To maybe hurt them, and leave myself still searching. They are not lacking. Just not matching.
It is easier to be disappointed, than it is to disappoint them.
But I remember that to try to fool myself or them, brings greater heartbreak later.
Still searching.



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/2/2006 12:20:32 AM)

I believe that each relationship has a beginning, a middle and a end. Naturally. Some dont last forever, some are short, some are long, but they all have merit.
I sincerely believe, that for me, waiting is a subjective word. I was 41 when i met Sir. But id allways wanted My One. So you could say ive been waiting for longer than some members have been alive. And how do you measure waiting?
Was i waiting from the moment i decided to do this? In which case, it was only a year.

A perfect fit would be nice of course. Though, perhaps dulls creativity. But compromise can often be found for the willing. And you lean in other ways, and learn more. Its all good
little1



knees2you -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/2/2006 7:22:14 AM)

quote:

If we are talking in a sense of 'waiting for that first LOVE', then it makes sense. But if we are talking just in a sense of BDSM, I have a hard time understanding that. Of course, all I seek is the pain aspect, no waiting required there [:)]

 
Yes Misty does seem to be talking into the Bdsm sence.
 
Anybody can give just Pain, well almost, but only
One can give "True, Pain, Love and hope, with Peace
and Security."
 
Ant,[;)]



LaTigresse -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/2/2006 7:28:08 AM)

Misty, for myself I am in no rush. If it happens, great. If not....shrugging.........will not be the end of the world.



MistyMenthal -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/2/2006 5:22:31 PM)

quote:

Misty, for myself I am in no rush. If it happens, great. If not....shrugging.........will not be the end of the world.

_____________________________

I am blaming it all on the whoremoans..........


LaTigresse, You are so True!
When it happens it will be the right time,
and the right one!

BLOW ME A KISS Misty



tasha_tart -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/2/2006 7:07:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrj69

Why do you think it is just a day dream?


I've never seen a Dom fall from the sky into someone's grocery cart before. Be fun if it actually happened though, wouldn't it??? [:D]


Make a hell of a mess, though!
 
Tasha



JessieMe -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/2/2006 9:44:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

I've found 'the one' a few times - and had a lovely time with a wonderful person for as long as it lasted.  Sometimes things run their course, sometimes they keep on going.

On the one hand, you want to wait for your perfect partner, on the other hand you want to explore and grow and have fun.  It's important to find a balance between the two.  I have a very strong image of my perfect person, and if I ever find them I'll be ecstatic, but I'm realistic enough to know that the Dom I'm with now is a wonderful match for me - even though at first it didn't seem that way.  You grow, change and learn with each new person.


So lets say you are waiting ten years for your perfect match.... but during that time.. you change what that match is supposed to look like.. Maybe the first person you met with was not your match at that time.. but with the growth and changes... s/he may now be...... <hows that for a concept?>



Wolfie648 -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/3/2006 12:39:09 AM)

quote:


It made me realize how Serious people are to
settle for nothing less, {meaning that they could say Yea I'm Collared or I have a Slave now.}
That they want Exactly what the Profile says,
no matter how long it takes.

So what are Your thoughts?


Before I found my _ahem_ slave I had reconciled myself to the fact that I was going to my grave alone. I may still do that but at least I have someone to visit me after I'm dead now ;-)

At the same time a profile, while a start, is only a launching pad. For everyone involved.

D (owner of j)




DiurnalVampire -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/3/2006 1:22:01 AM)

I agree a profile is just a window into someone.  If I worried too much about my profile, or his, my pet and I would never have connected.  However, we started talking on a very different level and things grew from there. It has taken a very long time to find him, and I am not still 100% sure he is my "perfect" match... but then again Id be scared if he were perfect from the get go.  Where would be the room for growth together then?

DV



knees2you -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/3/2006 5:50:53 PM)

quote:

So lets say you are waiting ten years for your perfect match.... but during that time.. you change what that match is supposed to look like.. Maybe the first person you met with was not your match at that time.. but with the growth and changes... s/he may now be...... <hows that for a concept?>


I Believe that if someone is looking for let"s say,
"A slave with no sexual tendencies."
I might be able to see how in ten Years that wouldn't
change. but if they we're looking for someone who
wanted to be able to do a Variety of things,
then I could see that changing.

Ant,[;)]




SmokeyM -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/3/2006 6:10:46 PM)

Finding the "one" is normally a lengthy search. Each time one gets into a relationship they think that this might be 'the one' though it turns out not to be. It only makes us stronger and understand more of what we are looking for. As well as how to spot the fake ones.
I keep to my statement of things happening for a reason for that reason. Though over the time I have learned to live life like tomarrow was your last and to love like you have never been hurt before.
However taking the chance on the next relationship may give you a heart attack!
~Smokey



LadiesBladewing -> RE: Waiting, waiting for the One? (7/3/2006 6:47:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

the word waiting has such a passive intonation to it, i am not sure waiting is what i do, i think when you have a goal you have to be working towards it, visualizing it, making small step twards the outcome you desire....


I have to agree wholeheartedly here. What we do is not "waiting"... we are living profoundly and completely, and opening ourselves to the possibilities of drawing into our lives the people who will thrive as part of what we have to share. Like everything else for us, it is an active process -- it is a choice we make every day, about how we will live. We strive for connection, and cherish opportunity when it presents itself, and each day builds towards the right opportunities appearing. We believe this, and live it, and we have not been let down yet, in over 40 years. We will continue to live this way, and continue to have amazing experiences with people who add in immeasurable ways to the joy in our lives.

ZWD



chainedsinner -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/3/2006 7:15:27 PM)

Well, at least i know i'm not the only one. lol i have a certain image of what my ideal Mistress would be like and i find it very difficult to tell myself to settle for Someone that doesn't meet at least most of those ideals.  i certainly don't expect to meet my perfect Mistress, but i do hope to meet Someone that's a near perfect match.



juliaoceania -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/4/2006 7:46:09 AM)

To the opening post.. I respect anyone's right to try to find exactly what they are looking for. I think we all have our laundry lists as to what we want or do not want in a mate. That being said I have to say that part of life in my mind is learning to live and love people different from ourselves. I think that our laundry lists can get in the way of our happiness.

There are things I would like to find in someone, and things that are deal breakers for me. I do not have expectations of what I expect in a person, I try to accept them the way they exist. I think I have found someone I value enough to try to do the long term thing with. He and I share so much common ground it is hard to believe sometimes! He met some basic requirements I had of course, he is as intelligent as I am, he has a great sense of humor, he is a person that is giving to others, he is a Dominant, he doesn't smoke, and he is active. We have much chemistry. I find that if the chemistry is there it just is there.

I have to say when I see someone that has a long long laundry list and they have been alone for a very long time I ask myself if they use road blocks to stay alone. I wonder if they really want a relationship... I think I have done this in the past myself, so it isn't a put down for me to say that. I also think that it is a defense mechanism so people can say "I can't find someone because I won't settle!" I do not think this is the case all the time, but if they did I doubt  that they would admit it to themselves, I can just say I KNOW I have done this in the past.

I guess in the final analysis people have to measure their loneliness against their laundry list, they should perhaps open themselves up to new experiences even if they are not the "one". If they are happy with the way things are in their life, well then they should keep their laundry list "as is"... Just my thoughts.... etc



Caretakr -> RE: When You Find that one that took so Looong... (7/4/2006 8:14:57 AM)

fast reply

I have had to school myself to be very patient. It's a bit like trying to find a pearl in a one ton nut bin.[;)]



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