quote:

ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed

I don't want to cause panic or add stress that might be unnecessary. My first thought is that if this is a new relationship he might just be setting some boundaries with you and refusing to jump when the phone rings, to refuse what might be perceived as an accidental topping from the bottom ( and I am not suggesting that you are doing that, at all).

But some men, gay or straight, in a 'new thing', would not want to begin with the precedent of 'she rings, i answer', or "I am now on her schedule of needs RE comfort".

Again, I'm not saying such thoughts are right, proper or remotely fair, but such thoughts occur.

Still better than someone becoming less into you, though.

I can say that it's likely best to NOT ring him again less than 24 hours since the last call, just in case.

won't hurt to let him chase *you* a bit, I say as a male.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOldBroad

i do not call him, he has not answered my inquiry about just that.

Ailey that is my thinking as well. Thanks for the second opinion.

DarkSteven, those where my exact words I used this morning when we spoke about his failure to contact me all of Sunday like he said he would. Given these "oversights" I think it would be best for me to reconsider my actions of closing up this life and career to go to a home where I may not be in a safe enviorment.

Thank you all for your advice!

quote:

ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOldBroad

i do not call him, he has not answered my inquiry about just that.

Ailey that is my thinking as well. Thanks for the second opinion.

DarkSteven, those where my exact words I used this morning when we spoke about his failure to contact me all of Sunday like he said he would. Given these "oversights" I think it would be best for me to reconsider my actions of closing up this life and career to go to a home where I may not be in a safe enviorment.

Thank you all for your advice!

If you are having these niggling doubts then you should not being up heaving your life to go be with him. You need to be 100% sure about this Dom before making any life changing choices you might regret later. You need to look out for yourself and keep yourself safe.
I am guessing by the fact that you are even questioning if you would be safe that the phone call thing is not the only red flag? You need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation you are in.


Ailey

quote:

ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed

I don't want to cause panic or add stress that might be unnecessary. My first thought is that if this is a new relationship he might just be setting some boundaries with you and refusing to jump when the phone rings, to refuse what might be perceived as an accidental topping from the bottom ( and I am not suggesting that you are doing that, at all).

But some men, gay or straight, in a 'new thing', would not want to begin with the precedent of 'she rings, i answer', or "I am now on her schedule of needs RE comfort".

Again, I'm not saying such thoughts are right, proper or remotely fair, but such thoughts occur.

Still better than someone becoming less into you, though.

I can say that it's likely best to NOT ring him again less than 24 hours since the last call, just in case.

won't hurt to let him chase *you* a bit, I say as a male.

It isn't about him not answering his phone (which I honestly think would be a problem to because really can't you just come out and say not to call at certain times?) The problem is the fact that he says he is going to call and is not following through.


Ailey

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed

quote:

ORIGINAL: AdorkableAiley

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed

I don't want to cause panic or add stress that might be unnecessary. My first thought is that if this is a new relationship he might just be setting some boundaries with you and refusing to jump when the phone rings, to refuse what might be perceived as an accidental topping from the bottom ( and I am not suggesting that you are doing that, at all).

But some men, gay or straight, in a 'new thing', would not want to begin with the precedent of 'she rings, i answer', or "I am now on her schedule of needs RE comfort".

Again, I'm not saying such thoughts are right, proper or remotely fair, but such thoughts occur.

Still better than someone becoming less into you, though.

I can say that it's likely best to NOT ring him again less than 24 hours since the last call, just in case.

won't hurt to let him chase *you* a bit, I say as a male.

It isn't about him not answering his phone (which I honestly think would be a problem to because really can't you just come out and say not to call at certain times?) The problem is the fact that he says he is going to call and is not following through.


Ailey

I agree with "The problem is the fact that he says he is going to call and is not following through." But, at the risk of being a traitor to the Testicular Brotherhood (who often piss me off anyway so fuck them),

" because really can't you just come out and say not to call at certain times?" No. Because then it becomes "a discussion" or "I just want to say a couple of words about--", which we know will not be a couple of words. A couple of minutes with lots of words, likely. A couple of hours after the conversation goes south, oh yeah, more than possibly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

His first priority in this stressful time of your clearing up your life to move to him, he should be doing everything he can show he deserves your love, trust and respect.

Not doing what you say you will do is not the way to earn trust and respect. Refusing to discuss it with you further is a major red flag.

It's clear he is testing you to see how much neglect you will take. That's why you made this thread, b/c you know in your heart this is true.

Your profile says you live your life as a person of value. This is a very difficult thing to do at times. I think we both know, it's one of those times.

Best, CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

How much time have you spent with him face to face?

One or 2 weekends is not enough.
One or 2 weeks, really isn't enough either.

If you have doubts, listen to them.

Niggling doubts are different from feeling apprehensive about a new situation.
If any part of your gut is saying "this feels wrong" (vs "this is new and scary and I am not sure I like it"). There is a difference. I would listen to your gut.

You don't want to pick up everything and move to a place where you have no social supports without being reasonably sure it is the right thing for you to do.

quote:

Given these "oversights" I think it would be best for me to reconsider my actions of closing up this life and career to go to a home where I may not be in a safe enviorment.