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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/3/2014 12:23:15 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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quote:

ORIGINAL: amonlyaslave

Masters, what is the BEST advice could you give a “vanilla” man (so he can comprehend) what it takes to be a GENUINE MASTER? He wants to learn on HOW to be a Master, and wants someone to tell him how he can!

Well, you're getting a lot good advice here, so I'll throw my hat in for what it's worth...

Being an M/D is like being left handed, you are or you aren't. You can pose as a lefty, you can gain aptitude as a lefty, but unless you've always been a lefty or have this amazing, unstoppable, overwhelming compulsion to become a lefty, you're not a lefty. You may be able to trick the righty's into believing you're a lefty, but in a room full of lefties, you're in deep shit.

Soooo... He is or he isn't. Around an /s that can feel the presence of a D/M he will give off that buzz, hum, drone, wot ever gets your knickers wet. Now, he may be very green, as per your OP, but it'll be there or it won't. That said, he could become a seasoned M/D with experience, direction, and most importantly, the humility to seek guidance. Or as another pointed out, he could become a hell of a Top with experience, direction, and most importantly, the humility to seek guidance.

As a wicked awesome Top or as a D/M, he will have to find what resonates with him and tackle it with all the zeal he can muster... Assuming that something or many things in the lifestyle resonate with him.

Jus sayin

Exiled

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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/3/2014 12:36:08 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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What might be genuine for me, might not be genuine for another.

I don't like the terms genuine master or genuine sub/slave.

It is an individual/couple thing defined only by them.

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Post #: 22

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/3/2014 1:08:37 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Step 1: That he ask for help himself.

Seriously.....you can't learn it for him/her, they need to do it themselves.

First off I'm not a true master not sure such an animal exists. But I have to wonder why this "friend" is not asking for himself?

In the past I've had "my girl" do research for me but never as poorly written and open ended as the OP.

So first work on your communication skills.

BadOne

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Post #: 23

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/4/2014 7:56:33 PM

MarkfromHouston

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/13/2007
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I just happened onto this thread by being bored, but I simply cannot imagine taking someone who is not a natural dominant and turning them into a dominant through any process other than some life changing event taking place in that person's life. People are either naturally dominant, and need no books or help from a girlfriend to be dominant, or they are not. One can learn to tie knots, use a whip or a crop the proper way, but all the trappings of BDSM that money can buy will not take a non dominant person and make them a dominant. Life does not work that way, people are not wired that way, and it is foolish to expect a turnip to turn into a stallion anywhere outside of a fairy tale.

Just my thoughts on it, but if you reflect on it I bet most would agree.

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Post #: 24

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/5/2014 5:36:38 AM

dananddawn

Posts: 56
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

Start off by figuring out what kind of master you are talking about.

Although what @littlewonder posted was sweet, it isn't how I treat all my slaves. Some are romantic, some are service, some are sex based. The important part is that they all know who they are, who I am, and what our relationship is, and it is fulfilling to them.

Here on the CollarMe, you'll see "master" means "leads the bedroom sex"; others see it as "responsible for a relationship". Which are you?

You might find it of value to attend an event like Power eXchange Summit where you'll see a variety of masters (and styles of power exchange). Events like these are not play based, but relationship based, so might have lots of positive examples for you.

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Post #: 25

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/5/2014 1:30:21 PM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
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quote:

Although what ****littlewonder posted was sweet , it isn't how I treat all my slaves.

I saw a lot of dominant traits in what little wonder posted. Blessed am I to have the partner I do.

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Post #: 26

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/5/2014 1:49:01 PM

unionkane

Posts: 60
Joined: 12/26/2013
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I have to say, the advice/story Exiled gave is spot on! IMHO

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Post #: 27

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/5/2014 4:05:52 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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I only dropped in because I keep seeing this thing come up in rotation. I don't know why you guy are hammering on this crappy OP? This is from October and the OP has not been attentive to the thread nor is his profile even on. You are all talking to the wind.

I didn't answer the OP because the sloppy question is so generalized it cannot be answered without further input from the OP and that ain't happening. The wannabe in question wants to be what, a Top, Dom or Master? And if Master, master of what? And what relationship platform, M/s, D/s, casual BDSM Top & bottom?

This feels like another noob stab at being an insta-Dom.

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Post #: 28

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/5/2014 7:02:01 PM

Darkfeather

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Joined: 3/13/2007
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hey now, don't be hatin on necro postin. I am sure if we look really really hard, we can find a meaningful and poignant topic in here... somewhere...

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Post #: 29

RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/5/2014 9:04:35 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MarkfromHouston

People are either naturally dominant, and need no books or help from a girlfriend to be dominant, or they are not.

I was brought into the lifestyle by a girlfriend about 20 years ago. No one has ever questioned whether I'm natural or not, and most especially, I don't question myself about it. I do what I like, and enjoy it.

(How did you conclude that education breeds falsehoods?)

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Post #: 30