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RE: Lying - 10/20/2013 9:19:48 AM

littlewonder

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The problem with that is Master would ask me why. Being that I don't want him to know about a surprise, I would have to come up with something. Just saying "just because" wouldn't work with him. He would want to know why.

Thankfully we've never run into this situation though since I usually do that kind of shopping when he's not home and we have nothing planned or I do it on my lunch break.

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Post #: 21

RE: Lying - 10/20/2013 10:06:18 AM

TigressLily

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OP, as littlewonder and other FRs have indicated, it depends on what kind of lie you mean, whether it falls in the category of a "sin of omission" or "sin of commission." The bigger issue is whether this person is a habitual (read pathological) liar who rationalizes away conducting himself with integrity to suit his own personal agenda. For example, I think it's disingenuous of you to come on this forum expecting everyone to humor you for asking a question on behalf of a 'third party' with a disclaimer that this isn't about you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirasen

hmm so, its not a question related to me in most any way, but I was just wondering what would you do if you found out your slave was hiding things from you or lying to you? I'm just asking.

Depends on lie. If it's something like say, I didn't tell him about a health issue, he'd give me a lecture, punish me and I would have to make an appointment at the doctor's office. If it was something huge, like cheating on him or something that could hurt us or him or me, then I would most likely be gone. We would no longer be a couple. If I was lying all the time to him then again, I would be gone. We would no longer be together.

I could make allowances in a friendship. Not everything is my business so my friends don't owe me full disclosure, nor I them. We respect one another's privacy. If it's my child, he'd better not be hiding stuff from me, because of that higher degree of absolute trust we share. Accordingly, when it comes to my sub, with whom I am in an intimate relationship, I'd have to go along with DS. I don't like 'little white lies' either and don't take kindly to insincere flattery or not getting a straight answer. If my butt looks fat in an outfit, I want an honest opinion. Then I'll decide whether it doesn't matter to me or not. (I don't ask unless I value someone's opinion; I wouldn't have a sub whose opinion I didn't value highly.) Unless I've been with my sub long enough, I expect more accountability in the earlier stages. Keeping things from me isn't going to engender trust between us any sooner, if at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I don't particularly care for "little white lies" because if they'll lie about the little shit, what will they do with the big stuff?

One big exception comes to mind. Knowledge of an illegal activity which might put me in a compromising position, which my sub shouldn't be engaging in, in the first place.

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Post #: 22

RE: Lying - 10/20/2013 12:03:55 PM

DesFIP

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Actually, we had this come up a few weeks ago.

Him: "You didn't have to close the window. What were you looking at?"

Me: "I'm not telling you. You will find out in two weeks".

Him: "What's in two weeks?"

Me: "Your birthday. If you really don't want it to be a surprise then say so".

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RE: Lying - 10/20/2013 12:17:19 PM

LadyPact

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Fast reply.

What would I do? Exactly what I've done in the past. Remove the person from My life. Especially if it is repeated offenses combined with other forms of dishonest and untrustworthy behavior.

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Post #: 24

RE: Lying - 10/21/2013 1:51:53 AM

SerWhiteTiger

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If my slave were capable of this, she wouldn't be the person I thought she was. Good bye.

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RE: Lying - 10/21/2013 3:17:31 AM

sunshinemiss

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There is room for privacy in relationships. In healthy relationships, lying is not really necessary. "This is not something I wish to talk about" is a very acceptable answer. There is ALWAYS a way to be honest even while maintaining privacy.

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RE: Lying - 10/21/2013 1:55:47 PM

Kirasen

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okay, so the moral of this is never to lie.... Got it!

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RE: Lying - 10/21/2013 2:04:12 PM

OsideGirl

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Actually, in our relationship the primary place where I do the little white lie is the "How are you?" "I'm good variety". The reason is this...he understands the basics of what I do for a living. But, when it comes to the details, he's unfamiliar with how things proceed. He's a fixer. If I tell him I'm having a problem, he automatically goes into a mode of trying to fix that problem. Then I spend time explaining how or why it won't work and we both get frustrated.

My other lie: I bluff him at poker all the time. He still hasn't forgiven me for the day I got him to fold two Aces when I had a pair of deuces.

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Post #: 28

RE: Lying - 10/21/2013 5:44:53 PM

NuevaVida

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Lying to protect myself - it's not my job to protect myself, it's his. Well, it's ours, actually, so for me to exclude him from that equation would not be protecting or respecting our relationship.

Lying to protect him - same as above.

Lying about buying him a gift or planning something for him - not necessary here. It's similar to what Des posted. I've told him I'm going to be late. He asks why. I say I need to do some shopping. He asks, "For what?" I laugh and say "Well I can't really tell you - for stuff." And at that point he knows and stops asking, after a bit of laughing & teasing.

I just really don't see the point in lying to him. I don't see how it can bring us together in anyway; instead, it separates us.

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RE: Lying - 10/22/2013 8:23:47 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
There is room for privacy in relationships. In healthy relationships, lying is not really necessary. "This is not something I wish to talk about" is a very acceptable answer. There is ALWAYS a way to be honest even while maintaining privacy.

Yeah, there is. But as the token liar on these boards I feel compelled to point out that over the years Carol and I have been together there have been times I have lied, deceived, etc... and not in "good" ways either. So Carol, at least, views the question of lying as highly situational and one which needs to be considered in the context of the overall relationship investment.

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Post #: 30