new slave

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

new slave

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> new slave

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

new slave - 10/26/2013 1:36:59 PM

orangeslave

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/25/2013
Status: offline

im having an issue submitting what would or advice could you give for me to give in and do it . I really want to do this

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 1:41:11 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

Without knowing what the issue is, how can anyone offer relevant advice?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to orangeslave)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 1:45:53 PM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

Sounds like me trying to bungee jump. What are your motives for wanting to and what keeps you from jumping?

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to orangeslave)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 1:50:10 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

This OP is so vague there really isn't any advice we can give.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to anniezz338)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 1:56:05 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

Um. They all already said what I was thinking when I read it. Seriously????

Um. Buy my new book. "How to submit For Dummies"

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 2:05:42 PM

blondeboi65

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/9/2013
Status: offline

Ask yourself a couple of questions.. the first one being.. are you having problems being submissive? Is it the frame of mind.. next is.. are you having problems submitting to a particular person?

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 2:41:43 PM

DanielleofMists

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline

It shouldn't be that difficult. Maybe you're not with a person who you are comfortable or naturally inclined to submit to, so why force it? Or maybe you liked the idea of what you thought being submissive was but are finding that it's not what you thought it was?

(in reply to orangeslave)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 2:57:16 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Or maybe what he's asking is against your moral code and therefore you aren't compatible with him.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DanielleofMists)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 4:18:26 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

Greetings, glad to have you on the forum side with your first post. May I ask you why you are calling yourself a "slave" instead of "sub"? You aren't currently in a relationship, so you have no Master yet to submit to. You are questioning your ability to submit, so I take it you are mentally psyching yourself up in advance for when you find yourself faced with this situation. Or have you already encountered snags with a Dom in the past where things didn't work out? This makes a big difference. Your profile says nothing about previous experience nor have you disclosed any Hard Limits.

If you are having submission issues ahead of time, then you aren't ready to become a sub, much less a slave. Perhaps it's because you're jumping the gun that you are having an issue. You are either ready to be submissive or you're not in terms of the basic concept of submission. Next step is to find the right guy to inspire your submission, and that may be the critical factor. Seeing as to how you're seeking "extreme humiliation, pain, chastity," you aren't looking merely to be Topped (although you might need to ease into exploring your kinks as a "bottom" if you're inexperienced); you would need to have that D/s dynamic in place, or else chastity in particular isn't going to work (not on a casual basis).

Until you can describe what exactly are your issues in better detail, there isn't much more to be said.

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to orangeslave)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: new slave - 10/26/2013 8:41:23 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

You either do it or don't do it. It's not difficult. Just do what you are told. How hard is that?

If you can't do simple things like follow a command then you should not be in this type of relationship. No one wants to constantly nag and argue and force someone to submit. Yeah it sounds like fun for a little bit but I don't know of anyone on the planet who wants to do that 24/7.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to TigressLily)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: new slave - 10/27/2013 3:17:07 AM

Bedmonster

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/7/2013
Status: offline

I really wanna submit but I don't, please HALP / thread

You should submit, man
I hope this answer was as enlightening as your question was OP

< Message edited by Bedmonster -- 10/27/2013 3:19:37 AM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: new slave - 11/1/2013 6:52:48 AM

Grael

Posts: 31
Joined: 10/21/2013
Status: offline

Biggest problem I have always seen? You have to know the other person... If you don't trust someone how can you expect to let yourself submit to them?

_____________________________

Nothing is impossible.
Everything is improbable.

(in reply to Bedmonster)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: new slave - 11/2/2013 4:55:02 AM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

Are you moving too fast with someone, OP?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grael

Biggest problem I have always seen? You have to know the other person... If you don't trust someone how can you expect to let yourself submit to them?

D/s is a relationship between a Dominant and his/her submissive. It is not role-playing. A play partner in a BDSM scene is your Top, not your Master. Topping & bottoming are not the same as Dominance & submission because the former is an activity, the latter is a state of being.

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to Grael)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: new slave - 11/2/2013 5:23:36 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I read your profile.

1. You need someone to submit TO. Without him, you cannot submit. So spend your time finding someone instead of worrying.
2. Quit calling yourself a slave. That's too much pressure on you. Start off being a sub, and work into slavery over a year or so after the relationship begins.
3. It's not all about kinkplay.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to TigressLily)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: new slave - 11/2/2013 5:35:27 AM

EasyE

Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

With the right person you will submit because you want to and feel safe doing it. Sure there may be apprehension the very first time. As you learn to trust the people you know in the lifestyle should be a non-issue.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: new slave - 11/2/2013 9:37:45 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

If you feel hesitation, do what they do in the army when asked to jump out of an airplane, count it off . . . "1, 2, 3, jump"

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to orangeslave)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: new slave - 11/2/2013 3:29:02 PM

SWDesertDom

Posts: 231
Joined: 4/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you feel hesitation, do what they do in the army when asked to jump out of an airplane, count it off . . . "1, 2, 3, jump"

I was a groundpounder (er, treadhead), but we were always told there was someone there to toss you out if you didn't want to jump.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: new slave - 11/4/2013 6:32:44 PM

SirScorpius

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/4/2013
Status: offline

To me, the hesitation to submit may be a sign that submission may not be for you. You were vague, so its unclear as to what your motivations and desires were. Why did you initially decide to try submission. Was this a desire within yourself? Or was it a request from a lover?

To me, and the submissive's I've encountered, submission to them was exciting.. Given with free will and the utmost desire to want to please.

< Message edited by SirScorpius -- 11/4/2013 6:33:22 PM >

(in reply to SWDesertDom)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: new slave - 11/4/2013 7:09:12 PM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

if yes is not the answer right away, then don't do it.

(in reply to SirScorpius)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: new slave - 11/5/2013 4:06:56 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

The initial impetus for me to submit was sexual hotness. The whole idea made me horny.

Eight years down the road, and three years out of a five year live-in D/s relationship, submission still makes me horny.

If you are not turned on (or some equally strong emotion) with the idea and reality of submission, then what are you hoping to get out of it? There has to be some really positive emotion in it for you.

Having done this for a while, I have found other emotions that ensure my submission over and above horniness - like emotional safety. I have never trusted anyone the way I trust my sweetie - and that comes from emotional transparency, which comes from trusting him ridiculously.

There are so many positive things in this style of living. If this really is for you, then when you meet "the One", you won't have any trouble submitting. Oh - and if all you are worrying about is submitting to pain play, remember that all that is negotiable. If there is something you don't want to do, then don't do it. You are allowed limits.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)

Profile

Post #: 20