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RE: Power in a relationship - 11/7/2013 5:29:59 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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FR

Some interesting responses. Power in a relationship is *for me* the energy that is generated as a result of the strong spiritual connect I have with the two males in my life. How it plays out with each of them is very different, yet it's very obvious during an intense play session. There is a zen like quality to the power exchange.

And it is very much an exchange on an intensely spiritual level that feeds both -- it's not *just* one wielding power and the other ceding it.

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RE: Power in a relationship - 11/7/2013 6:55:41 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AaNiMaLl
What is power between two people? I am not talking about like social, monetary or normative. To me love is meeting our psychological needs / drives / desires. And power is the ability to be able to control those needs on every level but maybe someone can shed some more light.

I can't shed any light. This is one of those questions where you have to seek your own answer and there are many paths with many answers. For me, all the paths which start out with the concept of "power" are flawed terribly... doomed to yield relationships I personally would not want to be in. So for me, I dispense with the word "power" in the context of my relationship with Carol. That word is flawed through and through. Instead, I use the word "influence" which carries the idea nicely. I am influential over Carol, partly because she loves me and partly because that's what it means to have a dominant personality.

For me, "love" is always a giving word not a taking word. So when I love someone it means that I intend to meet their needs. More accurately, it means that to some degree or another I have accepted them into my pack and their needs have become my needs.

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RE: Power in a relationship - 11/7/2013 9:03:59 AM

theshytype

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quote:

For me, "love" is always a giving word not a taking word. So when I love someone it means that I intend to meet their needs. More accurately, it means that to some degree or another I have accepted them into my pack and their needs have become my needs.

There was a blog that had gone viral titled "Marriage Isn't For You" with the same thought behind it. I thought it was a good read.

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RE: Power in a relationship - 11/7/2013 2:01:06 PM

AaNiMaLl

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I have done a lot of reading on power and still I feel like I know nothing. I am an Organisational Psychologist and it seems that during my meetings a common theme is coming up quite a bit. Power and money versus love and emotion. That is, the oppression of the organisation versus people living their own lives according to where they find meaning. People are so caught in survival.

I think that it is something like first comes love and then power. And the ONLY reason for power is love. Because everything that we do comes back to something emotional in the end. Even senses are basically emotional. Taste, sight, touch, smell and the words that we hear are all interpreted ONLY by emotion.

But also, lately, I have been talking about dreams a lot. I think that innovation, creativity and imagination are essential to true power. To be able to get out of narrowly focussing on office survival and create something that has meaning. Will to Dream then to Love then to Power. Like Jesus said that faith can move mountains but I don't want to move a mountain, only a heart.

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