RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)?

RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (Full Version)

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SeekingTrinity -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/1/2013 8:44:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Snitch I don't see any problem whatsoever with the OPs attitude. In fact, I'm surprised the OP took all the psychobabble crap handed to him, like a man. If I called the cops on everyone in my life who stared a few minutes too long, I'd own my own jail by now. There is a night and day difference between a "wow, she is pretty" look ...and "OP's "wow, she's pretty. Wonder what her clit and nipples would look like with my tongue wrapped around them. Oooh yeah, and my hands. Hands all over her breasts. What time is it? Shit, I've been doing this for the past hour. What the hell did I come to the library for?"

xxblushesxx -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/1/2013 1:29:56 PM)
Exactly.

LadyPact -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/1/2013 9:24:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kevin32 This. I was baffled by so many judgements and criticisms thrown at the OP, and equally astonished at his peaceful, non-confrontational resolve. Ilyrium, I personally don't think anything is wrong with you. I think what's happening is you're simply expressing your love and appreciation for the female body through your thoughts. You should know that there is nothing wrong with this. You're as a blooming flower growing among the weeds of fear and separation. It would seem that the creepiness factor only comes into play when a man is incongruent in his attitude. He wants to look but feels ashamed. He wants to express himself, but is afraid of backlash. But when you can boldly look at a woman's body through loving eyes, and revel in all those exciting feelings, even if she's a complete stranger and all you want to do is pleasure her, then on some level she will pick up on your sincerity and appreciate you in return, even if initially her conditioning resists and thinks something's wrong with you. When the tension between your interaction ends and you go your separate ways, she will ultimately say within herself, "He was appreciating me." I am presently sending women into your life that you can enjoy the pleasure of beholding. But you should know that these women are not the kind you can only watch from a distance. They are women who are open to love, women who want not only to be looked at, but to be touched and ravished in love. And you are the man they are going to want enjoying them, freely. The greatest thing you can do for humanity is be the man you feel yourself to be down in your soul. Embrace yourself as a man who appreciates the female body. The right of "expressing yourself" ends when infringing on My personal rights begins. If you were correct, the OP's dry spell in sexual encounters wouldn't be the reality.

theshytype -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/2/2013 8:00:20 AM)
quote: It would seem that the creepiness factor only comes into play when a man is incongruent in his attitude. He wants to look but feels ashamed. He wants to express himself, but is afraid of backlash. But when you can boldly look at a woman's body through loving eyes, and revel in all those exciting feelings, even if she's a complete stranger and all you want to do is pleasure her, then on some level she will pick up on your sincerity and appreciate you in return, even if initially her conditioning resists and thinks something's wrong with you. When the tension between your interaction ends and you go your separate ways, she will ultimately say within herself, "He was appreciating me." I am presently sending women into your life that you can enjoy the pleasure of beholding. But you should know that these women are not the kind you can only watch from a distance. They are women who are open to love, women who want not only to be looked at, but to be touched and ravished in love. And you are the man they are going to want enjoying them, freely. The greatest thing you can do for humanity is be the man you feel yourself to be down in your soul. Embrace yourself as a man who appreciates the female body. Honestly, this post creeped me out far more than the posts made by the OP. It's one thing to fantasize about women you come in contact with. It's another thing to state how all women will feel. It's also an entirely different animal to ignore the women's feelings towards it and chalk it up as social conditioning.

Ilyrium -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/4/2013 7:42:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity There is a night and day difference between a "wow, she is pretty" look ...and "OP's "wow, she's pretty. Wonder what her clit and nipples would look like with my tongue wrapped around them. Oooh yeah, and my hands. Hands all over her breasts. What time is it? Shit, I've been doing this for the past hour. What the hell did I come to the library for?" While this is very true, that's the entire reason I asked the question in the first place.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/4/2013 8:00:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium quote: ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity There is a night and day difference between a "wow, she is pretty" look ...and "OP's "wow, she's pretty. Wonder what her clit and nipples would look like with my tongue wrapped around them. Oooh yeah, and my hands. Hands all over her breasts. What time is it? Shit, I've been doing this for the past hour. What the hell did I come to the library for?" While this is very true, that's the entire reason I asked the question in the first place. And also the main reason why you got such negative responses. Most males don't cross that line even if they are thinking it. You, apparently, do. And that is why your looks are giving you away and why it's dangerous the way you do it.

dollenburg -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/4/2013 11:22:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Most males don't cross that line even if they are thinking it. You, apparently, do. You make me sorry for women in general. I read every response here and in none of them did the guy say he touched anyone or even made them uncomfortable. Yet you assumed he crossed the line. Are you the thought police? Tell me. What line did he cross?

needlesandpins -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/4/2013 12:56:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dollenburg quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Most males don't cross that line even if they are thinking it. You, apparently, do. You make me sorry for women in general. I read every response here and in none of them did the guy say he touched anyone or even made them uncomfortable. Yet you assumed he crossed the line. Are you the thought police? Tell me. What line did he cross? and you assume that he didn't make them uncomfortable. just because a woman says nothing doesn't mean that her skin isn't crawling with the unsaid words. I've been in that position many a time. needles

DesFIP -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/4/2013 1:01:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dollenburg quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Most males don't cross that line even if they are thinking it. You, apparently, do. You make me sorry for women in general. I read every response here and in none of them did the guy say he touched anyone or even made them uncomfortable. Yet you assumed he crossed the line. Are you the thought police? Tell me. What line did he cross? You don't have to touch someone to creep them out. Having a guy glance at you for two seconds is fine. Having him follow you around the grocery store while staring at your breasts with his pants tented is not. May not be a chargeable offense, but it's still creepy.

seekingreality -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/4/2013 3:51:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium My question is hard to pose in words but what has always amazed me is that the moment I see any woman's breasts, I just want to hold them in my hands, fondle them, and suckle on them - yet - I doubt many women feel the same way about cocks. I can't speak for "all men", but, as "on man", the moment I see a short skirt, I want to lift it up, and to give the woman the pleasure of a good licking. I wonder if women feel the same say about a man, say, in shorts (or a kilt?). Somehow I doubt it - but that's what I'm asking. For men or women (of any ilk), do you have the same (or similar) feelings of wanting to lick and suck (in my case) a woman's breasts and kitty? When I see a nice set of buns, I just want to stick my tongue and make her writhe in pleasure. What confuses me is whether I'm just weird, or if a lot of others strongly desire to lick another's body where they show it. This is getting complicated to explain, but, this desire doesn't happen as much if the woman, for example, is in rollers and a house dress running errands at the grocery store. It happens, to me, when a woman is "dressed up", and, in particular, that usually means a skirt, lipstick, heels, etc. So, for example, to further explain my dilemma, say I went to meet a hypothetical female friend who, say, (for whatever reason) dressed up for the occasion by wearing a miniskirt and a low slung tight blouse and red pumps. Trust me when I tell you, even if she were my best platonic friend, I'd STILL want to hold those boobs in my hands and pleasure them with my mouth, and even if we were BFF, I would STILL think about lifting that skirt and licking her to pleasure her until she screamed, and doing the same to her behind were she to enjoy that. Of course, if I thought this hypothetical best female friend didn't want it, I would NEVER do it. ... but ... my dilemma is that there is absolutely no way I could stop myself from THINKING about pleasuring her, just by the sight, sound (of her voice and clicking heels, for example), and smell (various scents) of her. Sorry for the long winded question, but, to try to summarize, do women (and other men) also feel like ripping the clothes off someone dressed sexily in order to pleasure them with their lingual abilities? When I checked out your profile I was surprised to see you were 50. I expected you to be about 20 or 22. If you were 20, I'd get it. Young guys are horny all the time and it doesn't take much to set them off. By the time they are 50, most men aren't such slaves of their cock. Sure, we notice attractive women. But we don't become discombobulated by them as you seem to be. So really the men-women differences you brought up aren't the issue to me. The real question is why you are acting like a horny teenager.

kiwisub12 -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/4/2013 4:20:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium In fact, the woman who was baring her boobs in the grocery store chatted with me like anyone else would I'm not psychic, so unless the OP is openly leering, I can't tell what he is thinking. Cool. My issue is this sentence. "the woman who was baring her boobs". Since I sincerely doubt she had nothing on top, i'm thinking the OP saw curve of boobage. And shock horror, he fixated on it. How dare that nasty woman rope him in with her womanly wiles! She and every other woman should not leave the house unless the boobs and butt are covered, so that men would not be tempted. In fact the muslims have it right, with the burqua. We couldn't possibly expect men to use some self restraint and control. Uh uh - nope, men have the issue, so women should change how they dress/smell/wear their hair. I'm thinking the OP needs to woman up (since obviously men can't control themselves, so lets go with a positive role model) and use some self control and turn his eye away. Or perhaps he needs to get off the computer and do something constructive with his extra time, since he seems to have a lot.....

SeekingTrinity -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (differently)? (11/4/2013 4:59:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dollenburg You make me sorry for women in general. I read every response here and in none of them did the guy say he touched anyone or even made them uncomfortable. Yet you assumed he crossed the line. Are you the thought police? Tell me. What line did he cross? If you sexually harass a coworker by commenting on the shortness of her skirt or use the time to leer down her shirt, thats crossing the line. Its breaking the law. If you start following some woman around a store because she is wearing a tshirt with the sleeves cut off and isnt wearing a bra, thats a fucking problem. Why not just say "hey, I dont give a shit about this coffee. Im just trying to get a look at your tits" if there wasnt anything wrong being done? He himself admitted to all of this. The fact that some see absolutely nothing wrong with this is both disturbing and rather sad.

WorshipTheDragon -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/4/2013 9:49:33 PM)
I'm a pervert, I have been one for a long time. I love checking men out an imagining what I'd do to them. However, I only need a glance to get that image into my head. I don't do the creepy stare down, or harass anyone (verbally or physically). It's only human to check out what you're sexually attracted to, its only human to be curious about what it would be like getting sexually involved with that person. But far too many people cross the line and go into sexual harassment territory. Keep your thoughts and hands to yourself unless someone gives you consent to be as nasty as you want to be.

crazyml -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 4:43:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TigressLily Quickie Diagnosis: Your horniness is out of control. Get a grip of yourself. (Not that kind of grip.) I missed this first time around, this is awesome.

crazyml -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 4:52:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium There's absolutely no way she's not seeking attention. And, just as absolutely, she knew what she was wearing in the morning. So, it's very hard to escape the conclusion "she just wants to be looked at" in a sexual way. What the fuck? Is this really an "It's the slutty bitch's fault" defence?

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 5:04:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium There's absolutely no way she's not seeking attention. And, just as absolutely, she knew what she was wearing in the morning. So, it's very hard to escape the conclusion "she just wants to be looked at" in a sexual way. What the fuck? Is this really an "It's the slutty bitch's fault" defence? Exactly the point! The whole of OP's descriptions and his thought processes (and the inevitable excuses) are what has been the subject of this topic. Nobody has said he actually touched anyone, just that his open leering and staring is wholly inappropriate.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 5:30:47 AM)
If you want to keep enjoying all of that eye candy, then stop punishing women who dress that way...by leering at them long enough to make them feel creepy. I developed early, was young, reasonably thin, had long blonde hair and some double D's. No matter how much I kept myself well covered, I was leered at, objectified, etc., until I wanted to be buried in clothes and finally treated like a normal person. So that someone would look into my eyes when talking with me, and not be talking at my breasts. Guys who looked me over like I was only a piece of meat scared the HELL out of me. I got too much attention from my hair being down and started keeping it tightly braided so that I'd be safer when walking home from work. Loose jeans, ankle length skirts, blouses buttoned up to my throat and zero makeup made no difference, the wolf whistles, cat calls, and "Hey baby!!!" made my teen and twenties hard to get through. Random men would frotter me on busses or cop a feel of my breasts and there was nothing I could do about it. I will repeat what other women have said, casting my vote. This is creepy. There is a big difference between appreciation...and staring at them while you daydream about f*cking them.

DesFIP -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 6:49:24 AM)
So it was early morning, this poor woman woke up and discovered she had no coffee in the house. She threw on the nearest clothes she could find to run downstairs and buy coffee. What she got for that was you deciding that she planned the outfit in order to be leered at, in order to have some strange guy following her around the store. You are delusional, op, and I mean that in a clinical sense. You need professional help. She didn't plan to be ogled, she didn't even think she looked okay. She wore the first thing that came to hand, she was only half awake, and all she was thinking about was getting some caffeine in her system. She didn't think about you or any other guy at all. And she did not deserve to be creeped out by you. Again, the fact that you really believe this is scary. How long before you believe these strange women really do want you to sexually assault them? From what I can tell, it could be any day now that you flip. I strongly urge you to seek help now, before you do something that gets you thrown in jail. And in jail all the guys who will be pounding your ass will be saying what you say about women, as justification for them doing it.

needlesandpins -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 7:58:54 AM)
i'm surprised by the fact that this guy is supposed to be 50. no-one has told you already that this is wrong behaviour? you really think it's right? mostly when people ask for advice they chose that that best fits what they want to hear to match what they've already decided. so what i'm really wondering is this; just how many women have to say that they enjoy being leered at over those of us that don't to make this right for you? and just how many people get to say that of course they are dressing that way wanting to be looked at and touched before you take that next step, and convince yourself that touching them is ok? forget it all. get your blood supply out of your cock and along with your eyes back in your head, and start acting like a civilised human being. needles

theshytype -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 11:30:11 AM)
FR- I never got from him that he was looking for advice. Instead, wanted to know if others, particularly women, fantasized as he did. That's just what I took from his posts. Had he not went into incredibly creepy detail regarding his personal thoughts, I'm not so sure others would have called him out as creepy or needing therapy. Had he maybe changed his question to "do others sometimes fantasize about strangers they see?" this thread would have taken a different route. I don't know. I see a lot of people, men and women, check out others' intimate assets. Why is it not as creepy? Because we have no idea what that person is thinking. They're not staring or drooling. A glance or two and for all we know that person immediately rushes home to wank off to all sorts of nasty fantasies involving that stranger. The OP made it somewhat clear that he was not staring, instead a quick unnoticed glance and some peeking from the corner of his eye. The "victim" of his glance could have noticed and could have just assumed he thought she was attractive. Or, she didn't notice at all. We don't know either way what she was thinking. If he had said he noticed an attractive woman at the coffee shop and immediately went to grind beans behind her so that he could strike up a conversation, my feeling may have been desperation and social awkwardness, but not necessarily creepiness. When I see someone check me out, that's my first assuming thought - he thinks I'm attractive. Although, deep down, deep deep down, I know there is a slight possibility he's thinking something much more. Unfortunately, I cannot control others' minds so I don't dwell. Unless I somehow feel threatened. The OP obviously has a thing for scantily-clad women. I can't speak for men, but it would be my guess that he's not entirely alone in that. Me, I have a thing for men's forearms. That's not the only thing I'm attracted to, but I consider it one of my things. I have in the past had some very nasty thoughts regarding a man and his nice arms, a stranger. Did that man want to be the object of my fantasies, don't know. Didn't ask him. I never blamed him for hanging his arm out the window nor assumed he was asking for it because he showed it. It's something I'm attracted to, took notice, and had some dirty thoughts pop through my mind. Just because a woman dresses provocatively does not automatically mean she's desiring special attention. However, it's likely to happen. She will most likely get some looks. The thoughts behind those looks will be varying. Most people I know, had approached their partner based on some form of physical attraction. It took at least one look. What they were looking at, or what they were thinking, is not a given. That look sometimes lead to a meeting. That meeting, and many more, lead to a relationship. I do not deny that the OP is perhaps socially inept or that he suffers from a lack of intimacy or sexual encounters that increases these thoughts. And I agree that if these fantasies are getting in the way of daily tasks, it's a problem and he should seek therapy to get it under control. I can only speak for myself here and not the others that are against lambasting the OP. My defending the OP is merely in regards to thoughts that he has, not any actions (such as incessant staring) that he may or may not have done. I cannot assume that he poses a threat to women or society, nor can I assume he will not, either. What I truly want to know is how is this thread related to BDSM? Is this classified as a fetish?

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