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very new - 10/28/2013 2:10:51 AM   
shorty123


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/28/2013
Status: offline 		I am very new to bdsm and don't know much about it but my master is and I want to make him happy any help u can give
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: very new - 10/28/2013 2:38:31 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		We might be able to help, but you are going to have to be a bit more specific. It's kinda like saying 'I want to be a wife, tell me everything about marriage'. It's a big wide topic, and everyone does it differently.

Why not start by telling us a bit about you?
How long have you been with him?
Were you always dom/sub in this relationship, or is this new?
What kind of help is he giving you to get used to it?
What appeals to you about submitting to him?
What are you struggling with?
When you say 'Master' is he in charge of everything you do - work, social life, money etc - or just in the bedroom?
Do you live together?

We need to know what sort of thing you are hoping to learn. Some of the things people ask about are safety tips for kinky play, setting up rules and routines, communicating with each other, getting involved in the local kink community, or figuring out what they need emotionally. Are any of those things what you really wanted to ask, or something else? Please don't just say 'everything' because then it is too hard to answer you in a sensible way. Remember you can stay here as long as you like and ask as many questions as you like, so try to narrow your questions down a bit to one topic at a time so we can help.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: very new - 10/28/2013 3:39:31 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shorty123

I am very new to bdsm and don't know much about it but my master is and I want to make him happy any help u can give

Your absolute best person for advice is your master.

As Athena said, everyone does it differently and your master is the only one that can tell you what makes *him* pleased with you.

Anything else is just a guess on our part.

(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: very new - 10/28/2013 1:10:49 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Short answer - obey.

Long answer - When my (now ex) husband and I were new to BDSM, we found many of the non fiction books in -=BDSM Book List=- helpful. We also went to munches, joined groups, made friends, got invited to private play parties, found a mentor, etc.

I haven't met a dominant who has done these things who has any shortage of ideas about what he wants his sub/slave to do.

My man has never done any of the above and has no problem expressing what will make will make him happy, for example:

- what I should wear when we have sex
- what to do in bed
- our outside social activities
- what to wear when we go out
- what I should make for dinner if I am short on inspiration
- that I should get cloth napkins
- what DVDs I should get at the library to supplement our Netflix queue

If all else fails, suck his cock.

(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: very new - 10/28/2013 1:22:25 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		If you want to make your Master happy the best place to go for answers is.....drum roll.....HIM!!
Seriously. It's great you are here trying to learn. But throwing such a general question out there makes it hard to help.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: very new - 10/28/2013 7:08:29 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Simple. Do what he tells you.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: very new - 10/28/2013 7:45:41 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		I'm assuming your master is experienced? I suggest you work on figuring out your own needs and limits, with your master's help of course. It's very easy to do what someone else tells you to do but what's in it for you? It's a give and take from both ends.

Some would disagree that it's all about the giving on the sub/slave side and that the giving to master is the end all and be all of the relationship. Bullshit.

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 1:09:29 AM   
shorty123


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/28/2013
Status: offline 		well thanks he just keep sying something about me need training or some like that and I do not know what that means and he has so many rules it is hard for me to remember all of them will I ever

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 1:14:15 AM   
shorty123


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/28/2013
Status: offline 		umm wow I am just new to this when I got with my master he told me about bdsm and the more told me the more I wanted to do it but I never knew there would be so many rules and I gess what I was really asking is how do I keep up with them

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 1:18:59 AM   
shorty123


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/28/2013
Status: offline 		ok forgive me I was a little on the da seelpy side when I posted this I am really wondering how am I suppose to keep up with all his rules there r so many of them

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 1:27:14 AM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		Is he your master purely online, or do you know him in real life?

_____________________________

Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 2:07:26 AM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

If all else fails, suck his cock.



Surely a quote of the day lol

But I'd suggest if you're having trouble keeping up with all the rules, discuss the issues with your Master. Especially if there are ones you feel you can't physically/emotionally/morally abide by. Otherwise perhaps focus on a few rules and accept the consequences of potentially missing the others until you get into the swing of it.

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 2:11:16 AM   
tabbz


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		...tell Him you're struggling...ask Him what are the main 3-5 He wants you to focus on.....then focus on them!

< Message edited by tabbz -- 10/29/2013 2:34:59 AM >

(in reply to SoulAlloy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 3:31:44 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		If was really a 'master' or even a good dominant, he would slowly introduce these things to you and start out with a few things he wants you to do, as opposed to thinking he can have an insta-slave.

Now answer the question: Is this a totally online thing?

Have you ever met this man?

How well do you know him?






_____________________________



(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 7:12:44 AM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, truth of it is, if you are having issues or questions it is him at fault. A rule is meaningless if it cannot be understood, and as the one who dictates the rule, it is up to him to make sure you can both comprehend and follow. Best thing you can do, is talk with him, make sure he tells you all aspects of his rules, and how he wants them followed. Once you know the particulars, it should be a bit easier to remember, as having a set routine and guidelines forces this.

(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 7:14:39 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shorty123

umm wow I am just new to this when I got with my master he told me about bdsm and the more told me the more I wanted to do it but I never knew there would be so many rules and I gess what I was really asking is how do I keep up with them


The number of rules is not a part of BDSM. That's a part of the relationship you and he have. Personally, I don't like a lot of rules because I then have to track compliance with all of them.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 9:07:56 AM   
petitespot


Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline 		Do what he says.
If it means you have to make a list of his rules, then make a list.

_____________________________


(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 8:47:50 PM   
shorty123


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/28/2013
Status: offline 		he is my master in real life I live with him

(in reply to SoulAlloy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 8:57:02 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Did you two have a relationship before you started into the kinky stuff? From what you say, this is very, very new to you and yet you live with him.

You two need to talk. Tell him you can't manage all the rules yet. You might feel nervous that you're letting him down, but it's better to communicate.

(in reply to shorty123)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: very new - 10/29/2013 8:58:00 PM   
shorty123


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/28/2013
Status: offline 		I love myself just they way I am

(in reply to petitespot)
Profile   Post #: 20
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