Treated... "differently"???

Treated... "differently"??? (Full Version)

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ShamanatDawn -> Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 5:39:42 PM)
So, I am brand new, and still seeking info and such, but I was curious about something. I see trans being a gender option, and I see trans people here and there on this site. My question is; How are trans people generally treated within this community? (being trans myself) I am curious if we are treated JUST as objects, or equally, and respected as such. I have been on many places online, all types of sites, and I tend to find the overwhelming "popular" feeling about trans people is one of revulsion, dismissal, or as a thing, curiosity, or object.

littleone14 -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 5:51:08 PM)
I don't think you need to be worried about being treated differently here. Most people are pretty open and accepting. Welcome, by the way.

SoulAlloy -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 6:02:56 PM)
In my experience they're treated the same as any other these days (even celebrated within certain circles, nights laid on particularly for trans and admirers). The NW UK scene that is, I can't speak for the US. When I first started on the scene 6 years ago I remember there being an uproar when a venue kicked a TV out for using the womens toilets. Since then attitudes have changed a lot, helped by an increase in TS and TV people on the scene. Outside the scene there are still problems, not long ago a friend was kicked out of a supermarket - she complained and received an apology, but she doesn't shop there anymore (along with several others now boycotting the place too)

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 6:08:46 PM)
~FRing it~ There honestly is no "community" mindset/opinion when it comes to...well...almost everything. It's all an individual deal honestly. Some of us feel fine with you no matter who you are. Gay, straight, bi, trans, purple with neon green spots. It's all good. In my eyes, as a trans person...you aren't an oddity, a novelty, a freak, an object, or anything else. You are a person...who has wants, needs, and desires...just like me. And as such, you deserve the same respect, dignity, and fair treatment that I ask for from others for myself. And if someone has an issue with you because of who you are, fuck 'em and their stupid ignorant horseshit attitude. Do you and rock it.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 6:09:12 PM)
~FR~ How trans* folks are treated depends on which section of the site is in question. Here on the CM discussion forum, trans* people are treated reasonably well, although the forum does tend to be cishet-centric. There have been instances of transphobia/cissexism in varying degrees, but most people are open-minded enough to be educated about trans* issues. Keep in mind, the message boards have their own culture and it's much different compared to the personals side or the video/IRC chat areas. I've noticed the people using the Trans marker on the personals side tend to lean more toward being cross-dressers (transvestites) than transgender/transsexual. The personals side also has a greater number of chasers than the message boards. Some of the most respected posters, past and present, are trans*. Then again, cross-dressers who come across as one-trick-ponies obsessed with their fetishes to the extent they are unable to participate in a healthy relationship are routinely skewered, especially in the Ask A Mistress section. How you, personally, are treated will depend largely on how you carry yourself.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 6:18:49 PM)
In other words - you are pretty much judged on your personality and character, not your orientation. Of course, off the forums is a different kettle of fish.................

ShamanatDawn -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 6:24:17 PM)
Thanks y'all. I am completely respectful of people as long as they are of me. I treat people how they treat me.\ oh, and I ain't no CD... the only legal document i have that still has my old name and a M on it is my birth certificate (and that will be changed soon).

Blonderfluff -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 6:31:28 PM)
OP Welcome. Rules here are easy. Be honest but fair. Articulate your opinions or questions clearly. Have a sense of humor. And. Thanks for the bra tip!!!![sm=yourock.gif]

njlauren -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 8:40:52 PM)
Speaking only for myself, I haven't run into too many people on here who treated me with disrespect because I id as trans (long story, not really a cd, but was forced to stop transition for a number of reasons..). Anyway, I have had people attack my positions, not like what I have to say, but I have never really felt like anyone on here treated me differently because of who I was...what they think in private, who knows? In the BD/SM community I was involved with when a lot more active, I never had any problems either for the most part. There were a couple of old guard lesbian separatist leather dyke types I ran into who were nasty towards trans people, but interestingly, almost everyone basically told them if they didn't like it, tough...:). I will add that this being an online forum, that doesn't mean you won't be treated as a fetish object, I get mail all the time from 'admirers' with such cute messages as 'how big is your dk', 'hey babe, want some big lovin' in your tranny ct' and so forth, or subs who don't read my profile and realize a)I am sub and b) am not interested in a sissy sub...you get the drift, so it isn't all pure, but being online, I wouldn't expect different shrug. The posters on here who regularly post have been cool for the most part, which is important because they make up 85% of the flow. Occasionally people have made statements about trans folks and 'why we are as we are' that in some cases bordered on the ridiculous, but a lot of that was simply they had never really had exposure (like assuming that an M to F trans girl like yourself was into this to play act in heels and such....basically confusing a tv or cd with being ts...). In any event, have fun:)

DarkSteven -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 9:23:24 PM)
There aren't a lot of transfolks here. Unfortunately, some, like Maxsboy and hausboy, aren't here any longer, but were treated like anyone else when they were here. Otterswim kinda has two genders, and he's a great part of these forums. My local community is trans-agnostic. There are transpeople, and nobody cares that they're trans.

DesFIP -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 9:46:09 PM)
Here on the boards, things should be fine. If you're talking about the other side, looking for a partner, I don't think most people are neutral. More people prefer cisgendered than transgendered. Just as most people have preferences in a partner's race, religion, height, weight and every other possible thing. Myself, I won't date Republicans. So sue me. I have some in the family and for friends, I just make it clear that discussing politics is not going to happen if dinner is going to be eaten in a pleasant atmosphere.

TigressLily -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/1/2013 11:04:14 PM)
You'll be fine here on the forum side, SD. Nobody will disrespect you for being trans. We tend to speak our minds and can be blunt at times, which no sincere OP should take personally. quote: ORIGINAL: ShamanatDawn How are trans people generally treated within this community? (being trans myself) I am curious if we are treated JUST as objects, or equally, and respected as such. On the other (profile) side, it can get rough. Not for me so much, but I think femsubs have a harder time than Dommes do (unless she's a FinDomme). It's assumed by those who contact us that Dommes call the shots, run bondage houses and keep a stable of slaves, so we always have room for one more sub! Whereas, some men come onto this site thinking they can act as ignorant and boorish as they want with a sub, because she is after all a submissive, according to their skewed logic. Don't let the 4sshats get to you. They abound. Those who cross the line with obscenities, insults or threats, you should report their message(s) immediately, then block them. As for you njl, I never think of you as being trans. You've always struck me as being cool & level-headed, very thoughtful in your posts. [sm=applause.gif] (Just wanted you to know that's what I think in private.) quote: ORIGINAL: njlauren Speaking only for myself, I haven't run into too many people on here who treated me with disrespect because I id as trans. Anyway, I have had people attack my positions, not like what I have to say, but I have never really felt like anyone on here treated me differently because of who I was...what they think in private, who knows? <snip>

SunTzuSwe -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 12:11:36 AM)
I think you'll be fine here. Even though I haven't been a member myself for very long I get the feeling that the people on the board often practice tough love with a healthy dose of respect and warmth towards others. As long as you're just a decent person you'll fit in perfectly. :) On this board I haven't noticed any negative vibes towards TS people but as in real life there will always be the occasional jerk. Irl I have seen mostly a weird fascination with TS, people talking about how much they are turned on by ts and how much they'd like to be with such a person. I guess that would be borderline objectification? But hey, name one thing in the scene that hasn't been objectified in one manner or another.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 1:15:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity ~FRing it~ There honestly is no "community" mindset/opinion when it comes to...well...almost everything. It's all an individual deal honestly. Some of us feel fine with you no matter who you are. Gay, straight, bi, trans, purple with neon green spots. It's all good. In my eyes, as a trans person...you aren't an oddity, a novelty, a freak, an object, or anything else. You are a person...who has wants, needs, and desires...just like me. And as such, you deserve the same respect, dignity, and fair treatment that I ask for from others for myself. And if someone has an issue with you because of who you are, fuck 'em and their stupid ignorant horseshit attitude. Do you and rock it. [sm=goodpost.gif]

MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 2:17:14 AM)
I just see trans people as whoever they feel they are. That simple. Met one recently and didn't even know until she pointed it out. It just didn't register.

lizi -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 6:05:36 AM)
Most of what I've seen on the forums is a respectful acceptance. If anything comes up here, it's in areas of education or understanding and people are generally open to amending that. On the personals side of the site, you'll be fetishized by many, and genuinely approached by some. Just like in life. FYI, in the meat market that is the profiles side, everyone has their turn at being objectified, you definitely are not alone. This site by its nature attracts users that think whatever they desire is on tap sans the human mind attached to the body parts.

LadyPact -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 6:43:20 AM)
Probably going to echo what most folks have already said about the forums. As a poster, being a trans* person isn't going to have much to do with the way that people treat you. Granted, I can't promise that the occasional asshat won't show up and be a dck. It's happened, but it doesn't happen often. We have very special ways of dealing with such people. (All within ToS, I assure you. [;)]) For the forums, pretty much expect to give what you get. As others have mentioned, some of our most popular posters have been trans folks. On the other hand, we had one transwoman who had a sense of entitlement that lasted for as much as the day is long and she didn't do too well around here. Being an asshat isn't specifically a cisgender trait but anybody who has been in or around the LGBT community already knows that. As for the in-person kink community, it's My personal opinion that things are better now than a decade ago. It's been quite a while since I've seen any major uproars between venue owners/event organizers and the community when it comes to things like transwomen being allowed admittance to "Ladies Only" events, for example. (I know that's something that at least Syl and I have seen in the past.) In My little corner of the world, we have a significant percentage of trans* folks at all of our dungeons, munches, and events. Truthfully, it's one of the stronger areas for this community.

theshytype -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 7:51:54 AM)
I agree with what other posters have said. Especially this part: quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Granted, I can't promise that the occasional asshat won't show up and be a d*ck. It's happened, but it doesn't happen often. We have very special ways of dealing with such people. (All within ToS, I assure you. I just wanted to say welcome to the forums!

Toysinbabeland -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 7:59:48 AM)
What does it matter what's between your legs. You have a heart. Smile, we are all the same.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Treated... "differently"??? (11/2/2013 8:47:01 AM)
You have a pretty good sample of answers already. Your posts will be received in a variety of ways. Some see past gender and take all posts on it's face. Some will take take your post with the added perspective that it is coming from an LGBT point of view. The rest of the mad dogs and Englishmen around here will treat your posts as they do all things . . . they will approach it with their own unique perspectives. The asshats and trolls will treat you with the same idiotic verve they they have for everyone. Plainly put, you are a small branch of a large tree and your gender bias won't get much of a reaction one way or another from this twisted community... it's the content of your posts that hold weight around here.

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