RE: ...insecurities. ..

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: ...insecurities. ..

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: ...insecurities. ..

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/4/2013 6:32:31 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Osidegirl is very wise and take her advice.. We are new and should welcome those who have come before us to give us safe advice. My keeper and I have had a very rocky beginning and I feel you on the insecurities.. I really do. I have found that being a sub has given me some sense of confidence and you may get to that point.. The rub in the situation is we are human and the doubt can creep in. I have been asking my keeper to train me when that happens so I feel like I have pleased him and it helps. Idk why but it does.

Did he agree to stop cheating on you?

(in reply to Lunabear1234)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/4/2013 6:35:14 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Osidegirl is very wise and take her advice.. We are new and should welcome those who have come before us to give us safe advice. My keeper and I have had a very rocky beginning and I feel you on the insecurities.. I really do. I have found that being a sub has given me some sense of confidence and you may get to that point.. The rub in the situation is we are human and the doubt can creep in. I have been asking my keeper to train me when that happens so I feel like I have pleased him and it helps. Idk why but it does.

Did he agree to stop cheating on you?

That is the crux of the matter. It doesn't matter if he doesn't view it as cheating. What matters is if you view it as cheating.

And personally, I would find someone having conversations that contained the flavor, tone and key words of my relationship with someone else, to be more of a betrayal than actually having sex with someone they picked up in a bar.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to kalikshama)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/5/2013 9:03:22 AM

Doctorscraps

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/17/2007
Status: offline

Insecurity is just one of those things.
There ARE tricks to it, though...
For instance, wearing a mask. When I go to conventions or zombie walks with my group of Costumed Faux Zombie Hunters, I become far more outlandish, confident and approachable when I'm wearing my mask. Granted, this can become extremely awkward depending on the situation...

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/5/2013 5:19:49 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tallandsweet16

Morning, all!

So we have already established that I am new to the scene...I have a question here... is it typical or normal to feel so damn insecure or exposed when and if you have possibly begun talking to and engaging with someone on a potentially more deeper level than just "friend"? I ask, because up until a few wks ago I would have described myself as super confident and 100% secure. ....These days. Ummmmmm. Not so much. In general, is this all just part of the journey?

Thanks for reading.

Absolutely not.

I'd check first, your vitamin regimen, if that doesn't put anything on the table, I'd consider forgiving your Mom for that shit she did to you in 3rd grade when no one was looking.....or......so you thought......(I ain't saying skaditch....didn't see a thing....honest).

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/6/2013 1:31:56 PM

Dyfrynt

Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline

Lot of very good advise here already. I would add this. You are by nature a confient secure person (which is what you stated in your first post). You also add in your journal that you are overall a strong woman. And now you are attempting to open up to an entirely different side of yourself - submissiveness. This requires a whole host of traits and skill sets that are very different from those you use in your day to day life.

It would be alarming to me if you were NOT feeling some insecurities; not feeling less than confident. Accept these feelings, indeed embrace them. You are starting on a new journey and a very different journey from what you have taken before. Go slowly. Take your time. Finally get edjikated. There are some very good books out there for beginners.

The one I recommend most would be "Conquer Me" by Kacie Cunningham. This is a book written by a female submissive giving her experiences and advice for other female submissives. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

(in reply to tallandsweet16)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/6/2013 2:29:25 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt
now you are attempting to open up to an entirely different side of yourself - submissiveness. This requires a whole host of traits and skill sets that are very different

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a Myers-Briggs test for kinkiness?

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/7/2013 7:22:23 AM

tallandsweet16

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/17/2013
Status: offline

dyfrynt--
i will look for the book--thank you so much, very helpful post...and very, very spot on.

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: ...insecurities. .. - 11/8/2013 6:40:07 AM