Age difference

Age difference (Full Version)

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JaysBraves -> Age difference (11/5/2013 8:39:11 PM)
I was wondering if an age difference bothers most people. I am 20 and often people say that I am "too young" for them (varies from people 25-40 etc.). What do you think?

DarkSteven -> RE: Age difference (11/5/2013 8:45:15 PM)
Young can mean chronological age or maturity level.

JeffBC -> RE: Age difference (11/5/2013 8:47:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JaysBraves I was wondering if an age difference bothers most people. I am 20 and often people say that I am "too young" for them (varies from people 25-40 etc.). What do you think? 20 would have been too young for me when I was twenty LOL. So yeah, for me who is now 49 you would be not just "too young" but way, way, way too young.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Age difference (11/5/2013 11:09:28 PM)
FR You're not going to like my answer. 20 is just barely an adult. I know, it's two years legal and you can go to war blah blah blah. But the amount a person changes between about 18 and 23 is phenomenal. You get some idea of who you are and how you want your life to go. You get some hands on experience in taking care of yourself, with no one to clean up after you or pay the rent for you. Your relationships become adult ones, with different responsibilities and interactions. Most people finish their education and get into the realities of the daily slog of full time work. 20 is young even to a 25 year old because in most cases, the 25 year old is in the next stage of life. Even more so for a 40 year old who in all likelihood is well established in terms of career, family etc. Add to that the fact that you are likely to have different tastes in music, films, furniture etc with someone twice your age, and you have not much left on which to build a relationship. The good thing about being 'too young' is that you are going to get older. You're on the winning side of this arrangement. So what are you doing with yourself right now to make sure you are one hell of a cool 25 year old? Finishing your education, getting your own place and looking after it, managing your finances well, getting on with people, and cultivating some hobbies or having adventures will make sure that you are an attractive prospect. In the mean time, stick to people your own age, learn and play and experiment together. Go out and meet people in the flesh - look for a TNG munch near you to meet young kinky people. On the internet your age is one of the first things people see about you, so you're likely to be dismissed. In person, people see that you are (I hope!) well groomed, friendly, sociable and interesting, and later when they realise you are 20 it doesn't matter as much.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Age difference (11/6/2013 6:15:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JaysBraves often people say that I am "too young" for them If you mean here on CollarMe, it's partly due to the fact that your photo is upside down. Do you have a photo of yourself in a tuxedo? Or rock climbing? Or doing anything adult?

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Age difference (11/6/2013 2:13:25 PM)
~FR~ My most recent sub was only a couple of years older than you when our relationship began. He was 22 and I was 42. However, he was and is incredibly mature for his age. He is intelligent, ambitious, and has long-range goals for his life. He's also adaptable and very self-aware. Our relationship ended just because of life stuff getting in the way and had nothing to do with his age. We're still on good terms and he will always have a special place in my heart. That being said, the play partner I had before Kitty was 27 and was not nearly as mature. Our relationship ended in a lot of drama and hard feelings because of his immaturity where interpersonal relationships are concerned. So "too young" is not merely about age, but also about maturity level. If people are saying you're too young, it may have less to do with your chronological age and more to do with how you conduct yourself. Fortunately, you can work on your presentation and time is on your side.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Age difference (11/8/2013 9:16:43 PM)
"Never trust anybody under thirty." Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it.

HoneyBears -> RE: Age difference (11/8/2013 10:40:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle "Never trust anybody under thirty." Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it. OVER 30 John Lennon? (e.g., Beatles during psychedelic Yellow Submarine phase?)

garyFLR -> RE: Age difference (11/9/2013 12:30:49 AM)
Age difference is nothing, compatibility is everything. If you're with the right person, whatever age, you'll just know it.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Age difference (11/9/2013 12:57:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle "Never trust anybody under thirty." Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it. Loved that movie. "Never trust anybody over thirty" was said by Max Frost from Wild in the Streets as part of his presidential campaign that included locking up everyone over 30 in secured old folks camps and feeding them LSD in their water. About the same time in the late 60s when Wild in the Streets was out, there were several other revolution movies including the one with Malcolm McDowell in If. He leads a violent revolution to take over a private school in England. It was also a fun movie.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Age difference (11/9/2013 8:59:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle "Never trust anybody under thirty." Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it. Loved that movie. "Never trust anybody over thirty" was said by Max Frost from Wild in the Streets as part of his presidential campaign that included locking up everyone over 30 in secured old folks camps and feeding them LSD in their water. About the same time in the late 60s when Wild in the Streets was out, there were several other revolution movies including the one with Malcolm McDowell in If. He leads a violent revolution to take over a private school in England. It was also a fun movie. Groovy, man. I won't bore anyone with the details, but my first "in-scene" relationship was with a 43 year old woman. I was 19. Wasn't perfect, but oh my goodness did I learn things...

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Age difference (11/9/2013 4:17:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle "Never trust anybody under thirty." Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it. Loved that movie. "Never trust anybody over thirty" was said by Max Frost from Wild in the Streets as part of his presidential campaign that included locking up everyone over 30 in secured old folks camps and feeding them LSD in their water. About the same time in the late 60s when Wild in the Streets was out, there were several other revolution movies including the one with Malcolm McDowell in If. He leads a violent revolution to take over a private school in England. It was also a fun movie. Hate to tell you this but the phrase precedes the movie by about three years.

rokkman7456 -> RE: Age difference (11/14/2013 10:36:38 PM)
I am 48 and my domme is 27. She is mature but sometimes the difference is there

DesFIP -> RE: Age difference (11/15/2013 12:37:50 PM)
So if we all say no, age shouldn't mean anything, how will this change things for you? Planning to go back to the person who rejected you and say a poll on CM says everybody is fine with partners of all ages so they have to be too? Because I doubt that would work well. We're allowed to have personal preferences. Age, religion, political views, childless or with offspring, hair color, body type, and everything else you can think of. At 20, you're way too young for me. My youngest is your age. I prefer partners of my age. My right to choose.

TheMistressG -> RE: Age difference (11/15/2013 1:17:59 PM)
I prefer someone be at least 21, though have played with subs as young as 19. However, the 19 yr old was a well educated, well travelled boy. Something I prefer no matter what age someone is.

FriendlyMuppet -> RE: Age difference (11/15/2013 3:13:46 PM)
Age is a really interesting thing, in that when I was in my early twenties, I started out in the lifestyle and didn't know a thing about it. It was a great time to be alive (at least for me) because I learned so much from so many people who were just fascinated with helping me come into the submissive that I was to become. As a few people have stated, my maturity level from 20 to about 25 was monumental in that I learned so much and went from being a "read the porn version of bdsm and try to live it" to understanding the magnitude of how much I had yet to learn and that each new experience was that much more knowledge in a continuous quest to figuring it all out and then realizing I knew so little and needed to learn more, kind of an early Platonic approach to learning. But, I too, was frustrated by a number of women when I was that age who said I was too young to play with (to own, to whatever, etc.). But then I came across those who felt otherwise and learned so much from them and am so grateful that I was so fortunate enough to have such great experiences. Not all experiences were great, but the learning was always there.

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Age difference (11/15/2013 5:03:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders FR You're not going to like my answer. 20 is just barely an adult. I know, it's two years legal and you can go to war blah blah blah. But the amount a person changes between about 18 and 23 is phenomenal. You get some idea of who you are and how you want your life to go. You get some hands on experience in taking care of yourself, with no one to clean up after you or pay the rent for you. Your relationships become adult ones, with different responsibilities and interactions. Most people finish their education and get into the realities of the daily slog of full time work. 20 is young even to a 25 year old because in most cases, the 25 year old is in the next stage of life. Even more so for a 40 year old who in all likelihood is well established in terms of career, family etc. Add to that the fact that you are likely to have different tastes in music, films, furniture etc with someone twice your age, and you have not much left on which to build a relationship. The good thing about being 'too young' is that you are going to get older. You're on the winning side of this arrangement. So what are you doing with yourself right now to make sure you are one hell of a cool 25 year old? Finishing your education, getting your own place and looking after it, managing your finances well, getting on with people, and cultivating some hobbies or having adventures will make sure that you are an attractive prospect. In the mean time, stick to people your own age, learn and play and experiment together. Go out and meet people in the flesh - look for a TNG munch near you to meet young kinky people. On the internet your age is one of the first things people see about you, so you're likely to be dismissed. In person, people see that you are (I hope!) well groomed, friendly, sociable and interesting, and later when they realise you are 20 it doesn't matter as much. Of all the responses, I like this one the best! It presents an accurate challenge to you personally; as well as a vision of opportunity for the future. Perhaps the OP is unaware, there are a few Ladies who are highly accomplished in their own careers, with Masters, MBA's and even PH.D's ; who are also Dommes. There are some who are writers ... etc, etc. While they might like to use a little young flesh ... they will be most attracted to a sub who works to improve himself, and gets better and better ... OP, you will be most appealing that way. Yet it does take work and effort. If you can't do THAT, the good ones will NEVER be interested.

DesFIP -> RE: Age difference (11/15/2013 9:48:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle "Never trust anybody under thirty." Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it. Over, not under. My guess would have been Abbie Hoffman. Looked it up and I'm wrong. Damn, I hate when that happens!

Dreamless -> RE: Age difference (11/16/2013 3:36:44 AM)
You answered your own question, man. It varies from person to person. If it doesn't matter to you, pursue who you will, and if it doesn't matter to them either, who cares what anyone thinks. It's between you guys. If it matters to them, then it probably wouldn't work; move on, there's six billion more people to go. :) It matters to some people and doesn't matter to others. Simple as that. For me, because I worked in a long term care I can't imagine getting into a long term relationship with someone far older than me (even though I find older guys more interesting to communicate with; interestingly this only applies to the guys, I prefer women much closer to my own age or younger than me) because I immediately jump to the thought of me being 60, them 80 and dying with dementia, and me alone for the last twenty years of my life... And because of that, I doubt I could seriously get in a relationship with someone 40 years old. Or 75, no matter how spry their penis was, and you didn't have to tell me that in your first message--oh, wait, that belongs in the NOPE thread. I'd say 'you'll find someone' but I see you've already removed your profile.

rokkman7456 -> RE: Age difference (11/16/2013 3:26:00 PM)
quote: because I immediately jump to the thought of me being 60, them 80 and dying with dementia, and me alone for the last twenty years of my life... This is what worries me about my relationship. But then again those 30 years could be magical, also while women generally out live men there are no guarantees in life.

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