Age difference

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Age difference

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Age difference

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Age difference - 11/5/2013 8:39:11 PM

JaysBraves

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/3/2013
Status: offline

I was wondering if an age difference bothers most people. I am 20 and often people say that I am "too young" for them (varies from people 25-40 etc.). What do you think?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Age difference - 11/5/2013 8:45:15 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Young can mean chronological age or maturity level.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to JaysBraves)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Age difference - 11/5/2013 8:47:10 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JaysBraves
I was wondering if an age difference bothers most people. I am 20 and often people say that I am "too young" for them (varies from people 25-40 etc.). What do you think?

20 would have been too young for me when I was twenty LOL. So yeah, for me who is now 49 you would be not just "too young" but way, way, way too young.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to JaysBraves)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Age difference - 11/5/2013 11:09:28 PM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

FR

You're not going to like my answer.

20 is just barely an adult. I know, it's two years legal and you can go to war blah blah blah. But the amount a person changes between about 18 and 23 is phenomenal. You get some idea of who you are and how you want your life to go. You get some hands on experience in taking care of yourself, with no one to clean up after you or pay the rent for you. Your relationships become adult ones, with different responsibilities and interactions. Most people finish their education and get into the realities of the daily slog of full time work.

20 is young even to a 25 year old because in most cases, the 25 year old is in the next stage of life. Even more so for a 40 year old who in all likelihood is well established in terms of career, family etc. Add to that the fact that you are likely to have different tastes in music, films, furniture etc with someone twice your age, and you have not much left on which to build a relationship.

The good thing about being 'too young' is that you are going to get older. You're on the winning side of this arrangement. So what are you doing with yourself right now to make sure you are one hell of a cool 25 year old? Finishing your education, getting your own place and looking after it, managing your finances well, getting on with people, and cultivating some hobbies or having adventures will make sure that you are an attractive prospect. In the mean time, stick to people your own age, learn and play and experiment together. Go out and meet people in the flesh - look for a TNG munch near you to meet young kinky people. On the internet your age is one of the first things people see about you, so you're likely to be dismissed. In person, people see that you are (I hope!) well groomed, friendly, sociable and interesting, and later when they realise you are 20 it doesn't matter as much.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to JeffBC)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Age difference - 11/6/2013 6:15:53 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JaysBraves
often people say that I am "too young" for them

If you mean here on CollarMe, it's partly due to the fact that your photo is upside down.

Do you have a photo of yourself in a tuxedo? Or rock climbing? Or doing anything adult?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to JaysBraves)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Age difference - 11/6/2013 2:13:25 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

~FR~

My most recent sub was only a couple of years older than you when our relationship began. He was 22 and I was 42. However, he was and is incredibly mature for his age. He is intelligent, ambitious, and has long-range goals for his life. He's also adaptable and very self-aware. Our relationship ended just because of life stuff getting in the way and had nothing to do with his age. We're still on good terms and he will always have a special place in my heart.

That being said, the play partner I had before Kitty was 27 and was not nearly as mature. Our relationship ended in a lot of drama and hard feelings because of his immaturity where interpersonal relationships are concerned. So "too young" is not merely about age, but also about maturity level. If people are saying you're too young, it may have less to do with your chronological age and more to do with how you conduct yourself. Fortunately, you can work on your presentation and time is on your side.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Age difference - 11/8/2013 9:16:43 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

"Never trust anybody under thirty."

Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it.

(in reply to JaysBraves)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Age difference - 11/8/2013 10:40:41 PM

HoneyBears

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

"Never trust anybody under thirty."

Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it.

OVER 30
John Lennon?
(e.g., Beatles during psychedelic Yellow Submarine phase?)

< Message edited by HoneyBears -- 11/8/2013 10:41:28 PM >

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Age difference - 11/9/2013 12:30:49 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline

Age difference is nothing, compatibility is everything. If you're with the right person, whatever age, you'll just know it.

_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to HoneyBears)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Age difference - 11/9/2013 12:57:19 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
"Never trust anybody under thirty."
Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it.

Loved that movie. "Never trust anybody over thirty" was said by Max Frost from Wild in the Streets as part of his presidential campaign that included locking up everyone over 30 in secured old folks camps and feeding them LSD in their water.

About the same time in the late 60s when Wild in the Streets was out, there were several other revolution movies including the one with Malcolm McDowell in If. He leads a violent revolution to take over a private school in England. It was also a fun movie.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Age difference - 11/9/2013 8:59:18 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
"Never trust anybody under thirty."
Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it.

Loved that movie. "Never trust anybody over thirty" was said by Max Frost from Wild in the Streets as part of his presidential campaign that included locking up everyone over 30 in secured old folks camps and feeding them LSD in their water.

About the same time in the late 60s when Wild in the Streets was out, there were several other revolution movies including the one with Malcolm McDowell in If. He leads a violent revolution to take over a private school in England. It was also a fun movie.

Groovy, man.

I won't bore anyone with the details, but my first "in-scene" relationship was with a 43 year old woman. I was 19. Wasn't perfect, but oh my goodness did I learn things...

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Age difference - 11/9/2013 4:17:43 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
"Never trust anybody under thirty."
Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it.

Loved that movie. "Never trust anybody over thirty" was said by Max Frost from Wild in the Streets as part of his presidential campaign that included locking up everyone over 30 in secured old folks camps and feeding them LSD in their water.

About the same time in the late 60s when Wild in the Streets was out, there were several other revolution movies including the one with Malcolm McDowell in If. He leads a violent revolution to take over a private school in England. It was also a fun movie.

Hate to tell you this but the phrase precedes the movie by about three years.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Age difference - 11/14/2013 10:36:38 PM

rokkman7456

Posts: 50
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline

I am 48 and my domme is 27. She is mature but sometimes the difference is there

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Age difference - 11/15/2013 12:37:50 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

So if we all say no, age shouldn't mean anything, how will this change things for you? Planning to go back to the person who rejected you and say a poll on CM says everybody is fine with partners of all ages so they have to be too? Because I doubt that would work well.

We're allowed to have personal preferences. Age, religion, political views, childless or with offspring, hair color, body type, and everything else you can think of.

At 20, you're way too young for me. My youngest is your age. I prefer partners of my age. My right to choose.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to rokkman7456)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Age difference - 11/15/2013 1:17:59 PM

TheMistressG

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/14/2013
Status: offline

I prefer someone be at least 21, though have played with subs as young as 19. However, the 19 yr old was a well educated, well travelled boy. Something I prefer no matter what age someone is.

(in reply to JaysBraves)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Age difference - 11/15/2013 3:13:46 PM

FriendlyMuppet

Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline

Age is a really interesting thing, in that when I was in my early twenties, I started out in the lifestyle and didn't know a thing about it. It was a great time to be alive (at least for me) because I learned so much from so many people who were just fascinated with helping me come into the submissive that I was to become. As a few people have stated, my maturity level from 20 to about 25 was monumental in that I learned so much and went from being a "read the porn version of bdsm and try to live it" to understanding the magnitude of how much I had yet to learn and that each new experience was that much more knowledge in a continuous quest to figuring it all out and then realizing I knew so little and needed to learn more, kind of an early Platonic approach to learning.

But, I too, was frustrated by a number of women when I was that age who said I was too young to play with (to own, to whatever, etc.). But then I came across those who felt otherwise and learned so much from them and am so grateful that I was so fortunate enough to have such great experiences. Not all experiences were great, but the learning was always there.

_____________________________

My Novels:
The Cell's Door: http://amzn.to/19I6VA1
Forced to Serve: http://amzn.to/108DByv

(in reply to TheMistressG)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Age difference - 11/15/2013 5:03:57 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

FR

You're not going to like my answer.

20 is just barely an adult. I know, it's two years legal and you can go to war blah blah blah. But the amount a person changes between about 18 and 23 is phenomenal. You get some idea of who you are and how you want your life to go. You get some hands on experience in taking care of yourself, with no one to clean up after you or pay the rent for you. Your relationships become adult ones, with different responsibilities and interactions. Most people finish their education and get into the realities of the daily slog of full time work.

20 is young even to a 25 year old because in most cases, the 25 year old is in the next stage of life. Even more so for a 40 year old who in all likelihood is well established in terms of career, family etc. Add to that the fact that you are likely to have different tastes in music, films, furniture etc with someone twice your age, and you have not much left on which to build a relationship.

The good thing about being 'too young' is that you are going to get older. You're on the winning side of this arrangement. So what are you doing with yourself right now to make sure you are one hell of a cool 25 year old? Finishing your education, getting your own place and looking after it, managing your finances well, getting on with people, and cultivating some hobbies or having adventures will make sure that you are an attractive prospect. In the mean time, stick to people your own age, learn and play and experiment together. Go out and meet people in the flesh - look for a TNG munch near you to meet young kinky people. On the internet your age is one of the first things people see about you, so you're likely to be dismissed. In person, people see that you are (I hope!) well groomed, friendly, sociable and interesting, and later when they realise you are 20 it doesn't matter as much.

Of all the responses, I like this one the best! It presents an accurate challenge to you personally; as well as a vision of opportunity for the future.

Perhaps the OP is unaware, there are a few Ladies who are highly accomplished in their own careers, with Masters, MBA's and even PH.D's ; who are also Dommes. There are some who are writers ... etc, etc.

While they might like to use a little young flesh ... they will be most attracted to a sub who works to improve himself, and gets better and better ... OP, you will be most appealing that way.

Yet it does take work and effort. If you can't do THAT, the good ones will NEVER be interested.

_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Age difference - 11/15/2013 9:48:07 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

"Never trust anybody under thirty."

Extra points for anybody old enough to know which word of that quote I changed and who originally said it.

Over, not under.

My guess would have been Abbie Hoffman.
Looked it up and I'm wrong. Damn, I hate when that happens!

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Age difference - 11/16/2013 3:36:44 AM

Dreamless

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/30/2010
Status: offline

You answered your own question, man. It varies from person to person. If it doesn't matter to you, pursue who you will, and if it doesn't matter to them either, who cares what anyone thinks. It's between you guys. If it matters to them, then it probably wouldn't work; move on, there's six billion more people to go. :)

It matters to some people and doesn't matter to others. Simple as that. For me, because I worked in a long term care I can't imagine getting into a long term relationship with someone far older than me (even though I find older guys more interesting to communicate with; interestingly this only applies to the guys, I prefer women much closer to my own age or younger than me) because I immediately jump to the thought of me being 60, them 80 and dying with dementia, and me alone for the last twenty years of my life...

And because of that, I doubt I could seriously get in a relationship with someone 40 years old. Or 75, no matter how spry their penis was, and you didn't have to tell me that in your first message--oh, wait, that belongs in the NOPE thread.

I'd say 'you'll find someone' but I see you've already removed your profile.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Age difference - 11/16/2013 3:26:00 PM

rokkman7456

Posts: 50
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline

quote:

because I immediately jump to the thought of me being 60, them 80 and dying with dementia, and me alone for the last twenty years of my life...

This is what worries me about my relationship. But then again those 30 years could be magical, also while women generally out live men there are no guarantees in life.

(in reply to Dreamless)

Profile

Post #: 20