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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/25/2013 5:44:01 PM   
curious2xplore


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		Yes. I've wanted that. Or at least I think I do. It may turn out to be one of those things that are better in fantasy than in reality tho.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/29/2013 10:17:13 PM   
rokkman7456


Posts: 50
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline 		all the time

(in reply to experiment2)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/1/2013 5:06:32 PM   
phoenixasubbie


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/28/2012
Status: offline 		Soft limits yes, only if I trust him and I don't play with anyone I am not involved with... but even so a little bit of "fear" sure... but I've always been thrilled afterwards. So far

Hard limits absolutely not.

(in reply to rokkman7456)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/3/2013 9:57:31 AM   
Shaded1


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/3/2013
Status: offline 		In my world there are soft limits and hard limits.

Soft limits are there to be pushed. This comes with time and trust in the other person. When they get pushed I get excited. It may be things I don't want to do but that I wouldn't dig my heels in big time and not do nor do I have a real good reason other than a preference not to do it or a little fear, which is overcome by his control and my trust in him.

Hard limits are a no go area. These wouldn't be due to physical dislike or fear but would be linked to emotion well-being. Now, with that said, I still like to be pushed on these. There has only ever been one person who can push these with me and although he is no longer my Dom he is my best friend so still helps me out.

This is a great thread. I have enjoyed reading the different views

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/12/2013 8:53:00 PM   
tabooprincess


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/1/2013
Status: offline 		My Mistress likes to push my limits. We are still trying to find my pain threshold So that limit gets pushed alot

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/12/2013 9:09:25 PM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		A former Dom and I discussed pushing some limits. I found great excitement, and ultimately, a rush of freedom. It feels great to grow beyond current limits. Facing fears in BDSM has expanded my spirit. Not only did I find more confidence and flexibility in my vanilla world, I also experienced such a deep level of trust that even though the relationship ended, I am able to carry the capacity to trust to that extent with me to both current and future relationships.

_____________________________

Talk about loving travel!!! My BDSM journey to Switch took me to these places...
Previously known as:
sub - TwoHeartsBeatOne
Domme - Lady Q

(in reply to tabooprincess)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/12/2013 9:10:11 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline 		Is it really your limit if don't want him stopping there?
Words have meanings - consider using them.

_____________________________

I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

(in reply to NaturallyCre8tiv)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/12/2013 9:26:34 PM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

Is it really your limit if don't want him stopping there?
Words have meanings - consider using them.


wittynamehere - Yes, a person can have a limit and feel deeply that they won't, or can't, get beyond that limit, and simultaneously, wish their feeling of limitation won't prevail, if pushed by a trusted Dom/Domme, or: coach, teacher, drill sergeant, captain, parent, etc... some outside force.

The idea that we are who we think we are and that who we are today is who we will always be... that sounds like dead people to me.

OP - your question is both clearly stated and valid.

_____________________________

Talk about loving travel!!! My BDSM journey to Switch took me to these places...
Previously known as:
sub - TwoHeartsBeatOne
Domme - Lady Q

(in reply to wittynamehere)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/13/2013 8:57:37 AM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline 		My main limit is mint chocolate chip ice cream. Under no circumstance do I want a dominant woman to give me mint chocolate chip ice cream. Especially the kind they serve at the local ice cream place here, that costs nearly five dollars a package (and can be ordered online). So, whatever else happens, PLEASE don't force me to eat scrumptious mint chocolate chip ice cream from the ice cream shop down the street.

_____________________________

My Novels:
The Cell's Door: http://amzn.to/19I6VA1
Forced to Serve: http://amzn.to/108DByv

(in reply to NaturallyCre8tiv)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/13/2013 5:38:16 PM   
TheWillToThrive


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/8/2013
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Great question. The answer is going to be vastly different from person to person and relationship to relationship. The terminology of hard and soft limits sounds like a great way to approach the situation with as much understanding as possible. I will adopt that terminology myself. Hard limits should be treated as absolute. Soft limits should only be approached when there is a sufficient level of trust between the people involved. Hard or soft they are there for a reason.

If you want to explore your partners limits or have them explore yours just use that magical tool we all have. Communication. Talk about how it makes you feel. Why you see it as a limit in the first place. Relevant past experiences if you have any. Ask them how they feel about it. Research it together. Sometimes we limit ourselves for silly reasons and other times for damn good ones. Don't assume anything. Don't agree to it if you know to your core it's not for you. That being said don't let fear rule over you. Fear is a useful and needed part of us for sure. Sometimes we have to push on through that fear or we can't grow.

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 12/14/2013 12:36:21 PM   
HntersToy


Posts: 56
Joined: 12/7/2013
Status: offline 		Absolutely I want Him to take me past my limits. We happen to share the same hard limits, so there is no fear in that. The fear that comes from Him telling me, "Today is just for Me" is an exciting fear! He will use me for His sole pleasure, at that time my needs and wants do not matter to Him. For me, that is a huge bonus of this relationship! In this relationship I do not want or desire to have my way.

(in reply to TheWillToThrive)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 9:35:24 AM   
Blueswordsman


Posts: 173
Joined: 10/3/2011
Status: offline 		Hard limits? Soft Limits? I don't think they are necessary. In a D/s relationship, be it eternal love or just play, the parities should know each others limitations. Expanding boundaries should be discussed before explored. The exploration itself should be erotic and without warning to the bottom/sub/slave. Both their hearts should be in their mouths. As respects soft limits I have no idea what they are.

(in reply to CuddlyParrotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 9:45:33 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I've always understood soft limits to mean 'not now' and hard limits to mean 'not ever'. If someone has a soft limit, they are saying that they really don't want to, and don't intend to do it at the moment, but MIGHT be willing to do it in the future under certain circumstances (such as, once in a loving relationship and as a one off). Whereas a hard limit means don't even ask - I don't want to do this under any circumstances and don't expect my views on this to ever change.

I'm not sure I agree with your 'without warning'. Surely that depends on the boundary being pushed? I'm up for trying most anything once, but you're far less likely to get a good response by springing it on me, erotic or not.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Blueswordsman)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 12:29:36 PM   
Blueswordsman


Posts: 173
Joined: 10/3/2011
Status: offline 		by without warning i mean... After two people decide they want to step it up. The play is more exciting if the sub doesn't know when it will happen until it is staring her in the face.

As respects 'not now maybe some day" doesn't work for me in D/s.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 1:27:17 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman

by without warning i mean... After two people decide they want to step it up. The play is more exciting if the sub doesn't know when it will happen until it is staring her in the face.

As respects 'not now maybe some day" doesn't work for me in D/s.


Interesting that you should say that. I'd say just about all of my limits were 'not now maybe some day' because when I started out, I honestly didn't know what my limits would end up being in the long term. I'd do things for my husband now that I never would have dreamed of before. If I were forced to set my limits and stick to them, there'd be a lot of things we missed out on since I would've had to err on the side of caution.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Blueswordsman)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 1:46:54 PM   
lovethyself


Posts: 1818
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		I've found one hard limit that I thought would never change. It usually brings on panic and anxiety whenever it's set off. It's still a hard limit for most people, because unless there is a whole boat load of trust in play, crossing that line will throw me out of headspace and into panicked survival mode on a dime. However, there is one person that has managed to touch the edges of that limit without that result. For him, it's a very delicate soft limit, and he respects that when he goes there. Exploring that limit and pushing myself has been interesting. I feel a bit more free from the past when I confront the fears that drive that limit for me.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 2:09:59 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		<Evil Grin>

quote:

ORIGINAL: FriendlyMuppet

Under no circumstance do I want a dominant woman to give me mint chocolate chip ice cream.


Aw-w, that used to be my favorite flavor ... the kind with crème de menthe, not the Breyers white pepperminty type.
But it got replaced by chocolate fudge brownie.

What about topical application, as in ice cream play?
(Enquiring minds want to know. )

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 2:16:41 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		A soft limit is something I'll do when I feel sufficient trust in him, and when I'm having a good day. Pick a day when I'm already stressed and it will not go well.

Announcing that you're going to do something I have expressed trepidation about without approaching it properly and you're more likely to make me hard limit it in the future. That future would be with someone else, not the person who deliberately made me mistrust him.

Anal for example is a soft limit for many women. It means once she can relax with him, and feel confident he will take his time and stop if it hurts. Even if it does take four months to accomplish it. Decide you can just spit on your dick and ram it in and she's not going to see you again. And it may take her years before she's ready to let another partner try it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/13/2014 2:42:07 PM   
Blueswordsman


Posts: 173
Joined: 10/3/2011
Status: offline 		'not now maybe some day" doesn't work for me in D/s because I know what is and is not within limits. Once an act is within limits and play begins....That's it. Today, It's do it or do the door. I was in a three night a week master/slave bedroom relationship for over 25 years. In that relationship it was do it or I'll burn you nipple with a cigar. I never had to used the cigar.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 1/18/2014 5:01:58 AM   
Justine333


Posts: 14
Joined: 2/22/2013
Status: offline 		MY Sir knows my limits. He does push them, but safewords are there for a reason, plus i trust him. And he never pushes without getting my consent first.

Some of my limits are no longer limits as result of this, but it has also meant that I have discovered new limits. It is a lifelong learning process in the world of BDSM.

(in reply to Blueswordsman)
Profile   Post #: 60
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