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BitaTruble -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 12:41:28 AM)
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quote:
But for those of us on the outside, the Internet has essentially turned out to be a decoy of sorts. One would think sites like this would be full of those who are seeking others but as we all know, that's probably only about 25% of the membership. The rest are playing, testing the waters, trying to learn about something they are too afraid to go out and try in person, wanking, etc.
I didn't have time to respond to this part of the question earlier, but I think it speaks to one of the differences between the pre-Internet days and these days. My experiences in the beginning were based on a very limited scope.. never heard of others into BDSM, no reading of any sort.. pure instinct and driven by a craving.. so read this post with that in mind.
Most of the underground newspapers were local to your immediately community. My own advertisement was inserted into a Swingers rag which had a 'very' small section devoted to BDSM folks. (Women got to insert ads for free back then.. don't know if it's the same now) When the rag with my ad came out, the only other ads in the BDSM section placed by women were a few pro-dom ads. I was, literally, the only single female submissive who had placed an ad that month. ::chuckles:: There weren't a whole lot of ads placed by men as I recall either.. maybe 15 or so, mostly gay guys (it was San Francisco) looking for S/m partners.
I don't recall anyone seeking long term relationships and the word 'discreet' was in most if not all of those ads. Today that word raises red flags with me.. caution that a person might be married and cheating, but back then, it would have raised a flag if it wasn't used.. times do change. ::chuckles::
I was probably a bit too serious about things and was pretty specific that I wanted and was seeking was a Master. Age and orientation were unimportant and when Master A wrote to me, he told me he was in his 50's (He was actually 63) and that he was gay so I shouldn't expect sex. He never used the words Old Guard. (I have no idea when that term was invented either).. but he made himself very clear in his expectations and he was pretty damn serious as well. He was all about ritual, protocol, service and S/m.. and no sex at all, which is why I chuckle when I read others saying that BDSM is all about sex. Uh huh. Ok. Not for everyone though. ;)
Of course, there were good and bad elements, but when you met someone, it was in person and whether they were good or bad (and at that time I didn't really care if they were good or bad) .. it never would have even crossed my mind that someone was looking strictly for wanking material ::chuckles:: on the Internet, I assume that most are looking for exactly that, so I guess I've become a bit jaded.
I'm sure there were people who were no shows for meetings, but I never personally ran across any. You couldn't just turn on a PC somewhere.. you had to write a letter, put a stamp on it.. actually mail it and put some time and effort into making arrangements. There is no weeding out process now because everything these days is quick and easy.. and if someone is looking for nothing but a one-handed IM thrill, all you have to do is IM 100 people and the odds are at least one of them will hit. Much different from taking the time to write to 100 people (as if there were 100 people to write to anyway!) put 100 stamps on them and mail them out. Of course stamps were a lot cheaper then.. but it still required substantial effort.
Those who were afraid to jump remained unseen.. today, it doesn't matter if you're afraid, you are seen because there are the resources available now to see you.
Ok, this is too long already.. I do get on a roll sometimes. ::chuckles:: There is much more, but I'll save it for another time.
Celeste
edited to correct paragraphing issues
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