RE: Before the Internet Arrived...

RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (Full Version)

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wild1cfl -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 6:57:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub That is what i was trying to figure out about this arguement, all LA said was that it is easier to find others in the lifestyle since the advent of the Internet and that assholes abound in all time periods, how is that remotely arguable??? Very well said Heart, I just wish some people could understand it as well as you did.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 6:59:32 AM)
I was 21 and in college when i started and there wasnt an internet. The bars around the college i went to had a "certain reputation". I met my first Dom there and the rest is history. It was hard to find others involved unless you knew the groups they hung around with.

wild1cfl -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 7:02:31 AM)
Well Brosco as you said in a previous post it is an opinion and you are entitled to your opinion no matter how little you know about the person.

WayWardSoul -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 7:19:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElectraGlide Hey Wayword if only Al Gores home state of Tenn. would thank him by supporting him the next time he seeks a major office lol. I sure hope not I want to keep my guns and not have laws passed that take them away.

anthrosub -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 8:11:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble I'm sure there were people who were no shows for meetings, but I never personally ran across any. You couldn't just turn on a PC somewhere.. you had to write a letter, put a stamp on it.. actually mail it and put some time and effort into making arrangements. There is no weeding out process now because everything these days is quick and easy.. and if someone is looking for nothing but a one-handed IM thrill, all you have to do is IM 100 people and the odds are at least one of them will hit. Much different from taking the time to write to 100 people (as if there were 100 people to write to anyway!) put 100 stamps on them and mail them out. Of course stamps were a lot cheaper then.. but it still required substantial effort. The above paragraph is an excellent point. There's something to be said for how effort sorts out the sincere from the insincere. Today you're just a few clicks away from fantasyland. I would imagine anyone who went through the trouble to write and mail letters for the simple thrill of getting off probably had a unique fetish! The Internet has opened the world to everyone but the majority of "everyone" is not really part of the BDSM world. I have the search criteria for new users set to target people who might match my interests as much as it allows (wish there were more options). I've noticed a great many "Dominant" profiles appear every week from women who obviously are not knowledgeable by any stretch of the imagination yet they come across as if they are. This goes beyond simply stating one's orientation and they are not all in their twenties or thirties as my search criteria attests. To me, if people are just starting out they should say so (wishful thinking). But then again, these people are probably more often the Dominant side of the "I'm here for kicks" coin. It's as if the word has gotten out there's a place on the Internet where you can slap a title on yourself and "poof" you're a Dominant or a submissive. anthrosub

jonathan -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 5:53:51 PM)
[also avoiding the finger pointing on page 2] Judging by the other replies here, i've had a normal life as a seeker. Before the Internet, a couple of established vanilla relationships that took that turn, then some success with the Village Voice personals. That introduced me to the possibility that i could find an LTR with D/s as a given, and to the BDSM organizations and the clubs. At one time, organization publication personals were my sole arena of search. The Internet, and CM in especial, makes for a larger pool, but the same caveats about posers still apply. Gone through several cycles of trying and saying f*** it. my last positive cycle has turned out well. i belive that i've met my Owner/match and it happens it was here. i think that the Internet works best as a research tool to find local groups and munches, where you can meet and talk with real people living real lifestyle lives, or trying to find their way themselves.

DoctorDubious -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 9:01:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub ...how did people find others? I'm not sure if this has ever been asked outright as a topic but I'm curious. interest. So how was it done? anthrosub just the off-beat experiences of one old goat.... The 60's for me I was a strange horny little 14 year old. Donna P was 16, lived next door, and had real boobies. I idolized her. She teased me, called me names, stuck out her tongue at me I chased her, grabbed her, pulled her into our garage. She wasn't all that hard to pull, actually. When I had her tied down, and spanked her with a branch of a Carraganna tree it was as if G-D herself turned up the dimmer switch and the world went on high beams for me. More girls.... far more girls than you might guess... if you show 'em a bunch ropes and stuff... and say, simply.... "I'd like to tie you up and play with your body"... will say yes. ...For some level of bondage play ... not always the funnest stuff... Over the years, thru high school and college, and grad school, I estimate that about exactly 25%.... will be VERY interested. Personally, I think it's more effective to show a woman your ropes than your new car or fancy apartment. The 70"s. If there were bondage clubs in Calgary, Alberta, in the 1970's I sure didn't know about 'em. But the 70's were licentious times.... so I found partners... (there weren't all THAT many) once again.... just by dating and asking. Also... the word got around school that I was kinky.... The 80's Now, there's classified ads.... 'cause I'm in a bigger city.. and they NEVER worked for me, not once. The 90's Occupied, not looking. 2000's Not looking till '06 And you know what..... today I'm posting regularly on collarme and it's really cool.... I get the sweetest emails.... I suspect that the internet and sites like this.... make *this the best time in history to be a pervert.* DD

Brosco -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/4/2006 11:20:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wild1cfl Well Brosco as you said in a previous post it is an opinion and you are entitled to your opinion no matter how little you know about the person. Exactly, I am so glad you understood my point. You may have noticed I used 'terms of reference' in my posts... I was able to say things like: "in my experience", "for me..", etc, etc. Everyone is entitle to opinion. The fact you think Iam juvenile is an opinion that you can hold. I have no problems with that, and the fact you gave your terms of reference so that I could debate the point with you (if I could be bothered) makes it even more valid. Just understand, that when a 26 y.0. starts expressing FACTS about things before her experiences or knowledge, without a source of reference, they are open to be questioned. Do you just accept what another says because they attempt to say it with authority? I can pass opinions about matters before my time too, but I make sure I give reasons for my opinions - not just state them as fact because I believe them. If this was the only post in this manner by the person it could by bypassed easily - but when there is a consistent lecture mode about her own beliefs that should be accepted by all, it is disappointing to see accept her 'wisdom beyond her years' without even questioning her source of the 'facts'. Are people this easily led? Establish a credible persona on the net and the tell all about the One-True-way? I hope you get fulfillment out of an anonymous nick telling you what you should believe. Brosco

ExistentialSteel -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 2:28:26 AM)
The internet has been extremely helpful to me in my BDSM pursuits. I mean you can even do checklists comparisons and so on. I found CE on here, for instance. However, my first experience with things came before the net was around. I met this girl in a bar and after awhile she began to tell me about her submissive side, desire to be tied-up, spanked and so on. I immediately comprehended and it stayed with me throughout the years and I would find myself getting into relationships where I looked for those traits in women. That first sub also gave me a book that she said was her bible. It was only a BDSM porn book, but I read it over and over because it turned me on so much as I picked up many ideas.

MistressDREAD -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 3:06:51 AM)
quote: RE: Before the Internet Arrived... We had perverse secret societies anthro, you were not privvy to. We still have perverse secret societies that most are not members of, like those who get their starts from online.[:D] quote: I suspect that the internet and sites like this.... make *this the best time in history to be a pervert.* yes either taht or the worst time as many realize just how perverse the world really is! I enjoyed your post DD. I can see that little boy grin on your face as you say boobies.

wild1cfl -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 6:32:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Brosco I am so glad you understood my point. Everyone is entitle to opinion. The fact you think Iam juvenile is an opinion that you can hold. I have no problems with that, and the fact you gave your terms of reference so that I could debate the point with you (if I could be bothered) makes it even more valid. Are people this easily led? Establish a credible persona on the net and the tell all about the One-True-way? I hope you get fulfillment out of an anonymous nick telling you what you should believe. Brosco Brosco, Yes I have understood your point, but you have not even tried to understand mine or LA's, all you want to do is blast away with all of your words and show how important you can make yourself seem by blasting at someone half your age. I do not read her post as fact, I read it as her opinion from what she has heard from others and that is all. You make it seem like she is writing a thesis that needs to contain multiple pages of reference and because she simply does not put a few chosen word in it that appease your sensibilities you feel you need to defend the world from this 26 year old female. I think you have a problem here that goes way beyond simply wanting to debate with someone, you are so egotistical that you feel your opinion is the only one that matters. Get over yourself and just allow people to post without belittling them. Trust me I could care less if you "bother" to debate with me, my intention was to show you how childish you were in your post, but you are so egotistical that you cannot see it so I will waste no more time with you. Also no "anonymous nick does tell me what to believe, especially not you.

wild1cfl -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 9:33:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble You couldn't just turn on a PC somewhere.. you had to write a letter, put a stamp on it.. actually mail it and put some time and effort into making arrangements. Much different from taking the time to write to 100 people (as if there were 100 people to write to anyway!) put 100 stamps on them and mail them out. Of course stamps were a lot cheaper then.. but it still required substantial effort. The above paragraph is an excellent point. There's something to be said for how effort sorts out the sincere from the insincere. Today you're just a few clicks away from fantasyland. I would imagine anyone who went through the trouble to write and mail letters for the simple thrill of getting off probably had a unique fetish! The Internet has opened the world to everyone but the majority of "everyone" is not really part of the BDSM world. I remember the days when you would look at the ads in the magazines adn then you would have to write a letter to someone to an anonymous post box and then hope that you would get a reply. If definitely was much more difficult then to actually meet anyone from one of those ads, but my wife and I did actually meet people from them. The internet has definitely speeded things up.

anthrosub -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 10:16:07 AM)
The process of writing a letter with an anonymous code on it is something I did once 21 years ago and it changed my life in my opinion. I was 30, very much focused on my hormones (LOL) and wanted to meet a woman who had the same uninhibited attitude towards sex as I did. I say this because I was not looking for someone who was simply easy but who genuinely enjoyed and had a passion for exploring sex in all its forms. There was a local adult store that had a magazine called "Local Swingers." On a whim I decided to pick one up and check it out. They were all sealed in plastic so I couldn't look at it in the store. Anyway, I found this one ad placed by a woman who's words seemed to click with my own attitude. I wrote her and about a week later got a phone call. I remember the anticipation and anquish of wondering whether she would respond. With my heart pounding against my chest, I spoke with her and it turned out she lived about a mile away. We made a lunch date and hit it off immediately. She invited me to come to her home the next day in the afternoon. I did, we ended up in bed, and about 4 hours later while in bed, someone was coming through the front door! I freaked out when she said, "That's my husband." I can't remember ever getting dressed so fast in my life but by the time I was stepping into my shoes, he was at the bedroom door with her at his side and they both had a big smile on their face. Somehow, the fact that her ad was in a swinger's magazine never registered that she might be a swinger! They invited me to stay and have dinner, explained the world of swinging to me, and invited me to their next party. I went and met a lot of nice people, most of whom were 10 to 15 years older than me. I made friends with another couple and eventually went to a couple more parties. At one of those, I met some people who invited me to D.C. where I live now. If it hadn't been for all this, I believe I would still be back in New England living a totally different life. I gave up the swinger's world however. It's just not my cup of tea. The males were all very aggressive towards the women and competing with each other for the younger, prettier ladies. The private parties were a little more civil but there was still this feeling that the women were there to please their husband. I will say a couple women told me it was their husband's idea at first but now they liked it more. Still, I'm not wired to treat women that way. It was an indirect result of my wanting to find an uninhibited partner that started the whole thing. I suppose things like this do take place using the Internet but with all the pseudo Dommes and subs online, I bet it's much harder. anthrosub

Wildfleurs -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 2:24:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub ...how did people find others? I'm not sure if this has ever been asked outright as a topic but I'm curious. When I was much younger, "whips and chains" was a synonym for perversion and so I kept my interests to myself. In past vanilla relationships, I would try to introduce some ideas that hinted at it but as I got closer to the core principles, my partners would always express disgust. The only thing they did like was playful bondage. I know that my owner found the group he was involved with as well as the clubs (in the city) he went to through the local alternative magazines. C~

Wildfleurs -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 2:30:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Brosco Sorry... I don't want this to turn into a flame war, but while I think that LA has some very mature opinions, that is all they are... OPINIONS!!! While ever she speaks her opinions as FACT and believes she speaks for all - she fails. Does it matter if a person doesn't put 'in my opinion' in front of their statements? To me it does. Every day new people join this site and look for answers to their new found feelings. They don't know what is fact or opinion. People like LA are very misleading to people looking for answers. Her opinions are stated as fact because they are fact to her. I accept that - but hers aren't the only 'facts'. Thats funny. Nowhere in your posts on this thread have you uttered the words "in my opinion." Its pretty obvious that you've had a hardon for LA, I don't even know why you bother to pretend otherwise. C~

MistressDREAD -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 6:33:40 PM)
In 1977 I had been secured to give a lifestyle scene in a Nude bar that had underground meetings of lifestylers twice a month. I was flying in from outside of the Country (USA) and when going thru immagration had all of My equiptment confiscated and taken away never to be seen again and was booked into the Miami jail on a charge of tempting to bring in counterband into the country. Now mind you I had whats concidered very mild equiptment items but the item that I was jailed for was My hand cuffs which at the time was concidered to not be an item the every day person with out a security ID would carry around especially internationally. (Thank the Preist Kings the Club Owner had a very good laywer close by.)That was My first introduction to the Country who claimed Freedom but was far from the kind of Freedom I was use to living and traveliing around the world with. But its getting better ............ slowwwly.

AAkasha -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 9:07:21 PM)
Interesting responses. For femdoms, I think we have it a little easier. "Finding" or "creating" a submissive man is much easier than bringing the "femdom" in a woman out, or finding a woman who was open to it. Before the Internet I think people used personals with thinly veiled hints in them, used "adult" personal ads and used listings in the back of adult magazines to locate clubs, etc. That's where I believe the swingers, the BDSM clubbers and lifestylers went. If I were in my 30s - 40s pre-Internet I'd probably assume I could find some open minded lifestylers among the gay communities -- gay bars, parades, etc. If any of those were in the area, of course. Pre-Internet there were phone sex lines or "party lines" that were hugely popular in the late 70s and 80s, right? Those were probably an avenue to find kinky people. Like anything, once you find a few people, someone "knows" someone who is more connected and knows of parties, etc., and you go from there. Once again, networking is the ultimate tool. For me, around age 18 - 21 (I got on the net in my early 20s) I was able to find kink-minded people, or open minded thinkers, at alternative dance clubs. I assume a couple of decades ago or more you could find an overlap of kink with whatever the alternative music genre was (punk rock, for example, is my guesss, for the late 70s/early 80s). In my age group, it was gothic/industrial as the emerging "dark cool" thing, and there were plenty of open minded youths happy to be tied up and engage in bondage games as an entrance into the 'lifestyle' -- whether they embraced it or considered it a fad for them would remain to be seen. Akasha

anthrosub -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 10:04:11 PM)
I think this has been said but not directly. One of the "benefits" the Internet provides and yet is also a curse is "instant gratification." People don't have to do the work anymore, can test the waters without getting wet, and do all this anonomously. I think this is why the "community" to use the term loosely is so watered down and I think it will be some time before it sorts itself out, if ever. I don't mean this to sound negative...I simply think this is reality which is rarely a rosey picture even on its best days. anthrosub.

hispossession -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/5/2006 10:20:59 PM)
I met my Master through mutual friends at a medieval recreation event. The moment I met his eyes I just _knew_ there was something about him... I went from an incredibly confident over the top flirt to this blushing creature who wanted to sit as his feet... as opposed to his lap as was my norm. My very dear friend knew exactly what had happened as soon as I returned to the tent, blushing and very confused, and told her who I had just met... she smiled knowingly at me and gave me a hug... I'll never forget setting eyes on him for the first time... smiles dreamily he has the most amazing eyes... and smile... and nose... and... well... everything... even his toes are sexy as hell!!

Brosco -> RE: Before the Internet Arrived... (7/6/2006 5:50:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs Thats funny. Nowhere in your posts on this thread have you uttered the words "in my opinion." Its pretty obvious that you've had a hardon for LA, I don't even know why you bother to pretend otherwise. C~ *"That "crap" that LA spouts isn't something she pulled out of her oh so lovely ass, ..."* You obviously confuse me with crappydom. Brosco

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