|
njlauren -> RE: -=Now y'all wannabes can "play like Grey"=- (11/17/2013 9:22:51 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: JetOnly
quote:
ORIGINAL: petitespot
Ya know....I'm pretty sure a huge percentage of us started out exploring this on a "vanilla" bdsm level. We didn't jump right into hardcore, extreme play on day one. At least I didn't. It was a gradual learning experience. Try something. Like it. Try something else a little more extreme. Like it. And so on and so on.
Look at all your judgmental attitudes. Like you were the gods and goddesses of the munch the first day you stepped into the ring.
It doesn't affect my life one fucking bit if anyone buys this stuff. They do it because they're curious. They're starting somewhere. Just like we all did.
Well said, the inital part of the OP was amusing but then just so judgmental :( Heck I dont want to be in a club with 1/2 of that going on - and its just crap to be so mean to these imaginary people who are trying to learn new things if they were actually brave enough to end up at a club, I hope they find kinder people who are not there to just laugh at them for being new
I was lucky, most of the 'serious' BD/SM people I met at clubs or places like Eulenspiegel always seemed more than happy to help newcomers and didn't make fun of them, but rather approached them and let them know if they had questions, feel free to ask. The funny part is that the various groups make such a point of teaching, and when you go to leather conventions and gatherings, they always have demos and teaching opportunities, so I don't know where this attitude of making fun of new people came from. The only people I experienced who had anything negative about newcomers tended to be the vestiges of those who saw themselves as old guard or trained by old guard, who thought the experience it all yourself violated some religious principles (mind you, it was a small minority of those into leather protocols and such, most only cared if someone claimed to be a member of their trad, which I can understand fully). Yeah, there were jerks, there were those who thought they were 'the elite' and so forth, but they were a minority, and they generally stayed away from newbies, since they were 'beneath their contempt'.
I agree totally that if someone gets to a club, they are likely to be there for a reason, they are curious enough to go. There are always trouble with gawkers, tourists who want to see 'the freaks' (one club in NYC kind of at the end of its run years ago, started catering to tourists, and I had heard at the time they were selling T shirts saying "I survived <X>" where X was the name of the club, and a friend of mine claimed it was full of Japanese tourists and such when he went (I refused to, because of a dust up with those running it).....in that situation, it can be problematic, like some woman who sounded like a Queens housewife yelling "Oh my gawd" when someone was doing a pretty intense single tail session, but as long as they have good DM people, not an issue, and if a newbie objects to a strong scene, DM should politely suggest they not watch or if it is too much, they may want to leave for a bit or something *shrug*.
I have to be honest, I don't quite understand the furor over 50 shades or similar books, or how they impact myself or others. I can understand the concerns with it presenting or potentially presenting BD/SM people as fucked up and such, but in terms of people reading it and thinking if they play with kink they are into BD/SM, so what? This isn't a religion, and that is how some treat it, like if you aren't into the protocols (some leather people), or into cutting or TPE or whatever, you aren't real, but the real question is, it is like religion, if someone labels themselves as Christian but not your beliefs, so what? Does it affect the rest of us if some 45 year old woman likes to get tied up and be spanked and considers herself into "BD/SM"? I suspect most of the people who read 50 shades and try things out simply think they are having fun *shrug*....as far as the hype around the book, it is what it is, and I guess in some ways I understand it, that people have fought for the right to do what they want, and this '50 shades stuff' trivializes it or something, but I still think anything that expands consciousness is not a bad thing. I have a friend of mine I haven't pinged in years, who I ran into not long ago, who is one of the founders of NCSF, and they said that as much as people get their knickers in a twist over 50 shades, it has made their job easier in some ways, because when people read that middle aged housewives are doing this stuff because of the publicity of 50 shades, it actually stops the idea it is practiced by weirdos and sickos and such......
Again, I understand some of the feeling, Jacques Cousteau in his book "The Silent World" described the struggle of people wanting to explore under the sea, and how hard it was for he and his friends and fellow enthusiasts to develop ways of doing that, how hard it was to develop the acqua lung, how dangerous it was to learn about diving, and then seeing not all that long from these struggles people at a beach in france renting gear and enjoying going diving with no struggle, and feeling mixed feelings.
|
|
|
|
