RE: Karma

RE: Karma (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

RedMagic1 -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 8:36:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you Because I have always been the type of person to attract and be attracted to the troubled and lost souls, because I was raised to help and I believe there is good in everyone. Helping people and fucking them are entirely different things. If you want to help someone repair their damage, do it while keeping your hands to yourself. Crossing that line is opportunistic, or manipulative, and can blow up in your face. Date and have sex with people who are healthy and happy, and who will make you healthier and happier.

kalikshama -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 8:42:42 AM)
quote: if she'd just communicate with me, I would have my piece of mind. You won't get closure from her. I suggest therapy, which can also help you channel your White Knight impulses into something more constructive. Therapy helped me stop picking the wrong men for relationships.

Makemeobey4you -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 8:57:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Dude, I feel for you. Beautiful girl, and you got the feeling that you were helping her. I have some friends who are recovered alcoholics. They say that the only person who can break an addiction is the addict themself, when he or she hits rock bottom and makes the choice. Optimistically, her pushing you away may be the first step toward her fixing herself. She's on her own now, and she may be able to rescue herself. Good luck with her. I hope she comes back for you. You cannot do anything more than wait at this point. I hope you're right, I hope she does get better without me. I'm over it, I dont care for her now that she's shown her true colors. But the sad reality of it is, her father told me she's already one foot out the door... I was her voice of reason convincing her dad and grandmother she was doing okay, they knew when she was with me she wasn't getting into trouble. I'm out of her life, and her Grandmother wants her gone, out of the house for good. She refuses to go to rehab; 60% chance that shes going to get booted and have to live with this old perverted doper that gives her money to cop

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 10:09:04 AM)
I understand that you don't want her kicked out because you care for her, but it might be that she needs to hit rock bottom in order to make the decision to get healthy. If you constantly protect her from the consequences of her actions, you are doing more harm than good, because you make it possible for her to continue self destructive behaviours without facing the reality. There is a line between supporting and enabling. Addictions destroy families. As much as it hurts to see her thrown out, remember dad and grandma are suffering too, and have as much right to feel safe and happy at home as she does.

anniezz338 -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 10:37:29 AM)
I did my own share of hard partying in my youth. It ruined some good relationships with some great guys. One thing about addiction is you take victims rather than having good relationships. Friendships, relationships, family, etc. All are affected by the addiction. I have seen these types of relationships eventually work. It's just a long hard struggle and both people have a ton of work to do. But until she faces her own demons, I would not hold out a lot of hope for the relationship. No one person can carry the whole relationship. I have seen you say a few times how beautiful she is. Beauty is only skin deep. And there is much more needed for a relationship than just looks. As my mom always says "what would you tell your best friend in this situation?"

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 11:42:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders 'I tried to have a stable relationship with someone who is too sick for that, because I felt I could change her'. OP, this is it in a nutshell. It is not your job to fix what is wrong with her, and from your description there is plenty. Even if you want to. Even if you could. It sounds to me like you are still attached to your vision of what you want her to be instead of what she is. Her rejection of you is who she is. She told you so in no uncertain terms. Life's about choices. She can choose to clean up her act. You can choose to engage with people who have their head on straight. Take this advice from an old-timer who at your age went mano-a-mano with one fixer-upper after another: does not work. Figure out why you have a need to save people from themselves. Wouldn't it feel better to give your heart to people you don't want to change? Therein lies the crux of the matter. I'm sorry for your uncomfortable growing pains. And that's what they are. The loss of this person is merely a symptom of that. Move on to the next step in your life. Best of luck to you.

DesFIP -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 12:52:05 PM)
The best thing that could happen to her is to end up in the court system. A few months in jail, mandated treatment and parole is the only thing that has a chance of getting through to her. Stop trying to prevent this. Because if it doesn't happen, you'll be reading her obituary one day. Let her hit bottom. And go to ACOA meetings to address your issues.

kalikshama -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 1:23:40 PM)
I'm listening to my downstairs neighbor argue with his alcoholic ex girlfriend right now. He's expressed many times in the past year that she'd be dead if he hadn't taken her in. Eventually, he was sick of her lies about her drinking, her crazy drunken behavior, my complaints about her late at night antics, her other boyfriend calling the cops, me calling the cops, and her seeing other guys on the weekends. She told him all along that she wasn't going to stop drinking (she intended to not do it here) and that she didn't want to be monogamous with him. He insisted on seeing her as he wanted her to be, not how she really is. I believe the huge dent in her bumper is new. I was hoping getting her into the court system would help...she did get some mandated treatment...we don't talk anymore other than to say Hi when she returns to get stuff. I keep telling him he can't save her.

BitaTruble -> RE: Karma (11/11/2013 1:30:42 PM)
OP There's a fine line between White Knight and Stalker. Try not to cross it cuz you seem to be on something of an edge there, dude.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125