RE: Advice on becoming a Master (Full Version)

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Focus50 -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 12:53:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

I would just like some advice so i can build confidence so i can become a great Master who makes his slave feel at home, feel safe and secure and loved.


Hmmmmmm, these topics always read like the OP wants advice on how to become hetero, or gay, or even behave like a particular gender etc. Meaning if you aren't already 99% born/wired with the basics, you're no chance of learning that which you ain't....

Anyway, "build confidence" as a Master? You could start with capitalising your own personal pronoun of "i" - it at least respects the freakin' language you express yourself with.

Focus.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 1:15:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Anyway, "build confidence" as a Master? You could start with capitalising your own personal pronoun of "i" - it at least respects the freakin' language you express yourself with.

Focus.


Or "the freakin' language with which he expresses himself"? [:D] Sorry. I couldn't resist.






kalikshama -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 1:51:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If your first thought is of punishing her


It wasnt. It never is. Btw i was able to find a temporary sub to play with, she is willing to help me learn the ropes, learn with practice. So i would have more expirence in the real thing. So, yeah. wish me luck.


I would call what you're learning kinky sex and suggest that it has nothing to do with being a Master, and everything to do with being a Top or Bedroom Dom.

Nothing wrong with that - but you'll get better advice if we know what you're talking about.

Enjoy!



MarcEsadrian -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 2:35:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

I would just like some advice so i can build confidence so i can become a great Master who makes his slave feel at home, feel safe and secure and loved.


I haven't read through any of the responses here, though I'm certain they've been fairly scathing. I will say that there is no quick way around the question you've posed above. To each his own path, blazed by way of his own mettle, I say. You can pick up on some little nuggets of truth here and there through Internet discussion, but such discussion forums, along with all the many thousands of pages written about on this subject, aren't wormholes to bypass the trials of learning and forging your own way. There is no body of text or "workshop" where you can divine the mysteries of influence, tenacity, and desire to be a master of another human being. Such a path must must be traveled, for the greater part, on your own and with the resources you summon from within you.



Focus50 -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 2:38:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Anyway, "build confidence" as a Master? You could start with capitalising your own personal pronoun of "i" - it at least respects the freakin' language you express yourself with.

Focus.


Or "the freakin' language with which he expresses himself"? [:D] Sorry. I couldn't resist.



That's ok; still scratchin' my head as to what the joke is? [8|]

Yep, got nuthin'.... lol

Anyway OP, my point being that getting some respect as a Master orta start with you respecting yourself and thereby the image/persona you project to a prospective slave.

I've watched TV and movies; the basic training of being a good soldier usually includes drumming in the importance of looking like one and acting like one. Surely TV wouldn't lie to us...?[:-]

Focus.



areallivehuman -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 3:24:09 PM)

You have to be more than a man, you have to be a good man. Lead by example. Don't try to be someone you're not, look to yourself first, What Qualities do YOU think a master should have. Cultivate these in yourself. Learn daily. Be kind to puppies and children. Do your laundry at every opportunity, and never play poker with anyone named Doc.



Blonderfluff -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 3:28:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

Kind of Master I want to be: Kind, yet firm. Loving, yet dominating. I want to be a source of security

Kind of Slave I want: Loyal, kinky, sexy, and loving. Someone who lives to serve me and loves it.

Okay. Good.
You just figured it all out by yourself!!

See. You don't need us.



DarkSteven -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 4:52:14 PM)

Hi there. Welcome to the forums.

I get the feeling you're using the term master for a Dom.

A Dom is someone who wants control, to control another person.

A Master is a Dom who's kinda like gotten some merit badges. Everyone has their own ideas about the differences between the two. So I'll just give you my own, with the caveat that everyone else here will disagree.

A Master is a Dom who is recognized and looked up to by the community, and typically supports it with demos and lectures. He is adept at techniques, both play and non-play. He is in control of his vanilla life.

Also, note that a lot of being a Dom or Master is attitude and relationship capabilities. Being a Top requires play skills, and a Top is only defined by play. Of course, there are Doms/Masters that Top.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 5:29:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I suspect this 'master' didn't bother to read it. He expects you to spoon feed him. Sad, really.


Actually i did read it. I have been doing those things. But being a master has to be more than just "being a man"


Nope. That is about the sum total of it.


Quoted for truth.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 5:42:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

i want advice on for example how to give out punishments so im not doing too much, but at the same time not too little. That takes more than just "being a man"



Actually, very few of us have a punishment dynamic. It rarely works well any way.

And if that's how you define Master, then please don't call yourself one.

You're wrong...being a Master is about being a man the "s" side desires to follow. If you have to punish to get an "s" to follow you....you're clearly not really dominant, just domineering.



Oh no, i hate punishing my slave. But some are into that, and i need advice on how to fufil their desires.



I think you're confusing "punishment" with "spanky play time".

Giving somebody an erotic spanking cause it makes one or both parties hot and bothered isn't usually labeled "punishment" in the community.

Not even if you're pretending that the reason for the spanking is punishment. In that case, it's call "funishment".



KnightofMists -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 7:25:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

I would just like some advice so i can build confidence so i can become a great Master who makes his slave feel at home, feel safe and secure and loved.


Why do you want to be a Great Master? Or for that matter... Why do you want to be a Master?

What is a Great Master from your prespective? Do you know any Great Masters? How do you know they are great?

Why do you think coming to the boards and asking your question you will get an answer that actually works? How are you going to recognize the answer that works?

How does anyone build confidence in anything? ....




KnightofMists -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 7:34:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

i must be sounding like a total douchebag. I dont think it happens over night. And im into both BDSM (bondage) and 24/7 M/s relationship. I wanted advice so i dont fuck it up.



You will fuck up it is not avoidable! But how you handle it will be the difference between that which will allows you to succeed and that which will cause you to continue to fuck up.



DesFIP -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 7:55:20 PM)

There's a reading list somewhere about. It would help if you read some basic books.

The Loving Dominant
Screw the Roses
Erotic Bondage
S & M 101

Those are more than enough to start with.

But when it comes to kinky play, what attracts you? Are you turned on by putting her over your knee and telling her she's been a bad girl? Because we call that funishment, when it's a role play punishment but as you really aren't her teacher, she didn't really forget to do her homework. If giving pain is your thing, that's s & m.

Do you get hot by the idea of having her tied up and helpless before you? If so you're a bondage top and need someone who identifies as a bondage bottom.

But if the girl you're playing with is into s & m and it leaves you cold, you may not be with the right partner. So what do you want to do?



CobaltRose -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 8:18:19 PM)

In the short term i want to be a good dom. But, in the long term i want to be a Master. But, yeah, I'm sorry i have poor communication skills online. Anyway, is there anyway for me to close this thread? got the advise i need, atleast for now.



Focus50 -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 8:45:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

In the short term i want to be a good dom. But, in the long term i want to be a Master. But, yeah, I'm sorry i have poor communication skills online. Anyway, is there anyway for me to close this thread? got the advise i need, atleast for now.


Ok, I see I made no impact with the personal pronoun bizzo.... <shrugs>

And I don't think your communication skills are so bad for a relative newbie here. There'll always be regulars (like KnightofMists) taking issue with how the new meat expresses themselves. Me, I'd interpret the issue he's taken you to task on as you wanting to be the best you can be. Me, too, which is why presentation is important (that personal pronoun bizzo again).

But "closing" this thread"? I s'pose you could tell a tale about how you're not attracted to BBW's and dollars to dirt the Mods will be closing it down within a day or two.... [:-]

Beyond that, re-inventing history so something didn't happen is pretty much grouped with learning to be a dom, or Master - fantasy.

Focus.



CobaltRose -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 8:49:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

In the short term i want to be a good dom. But, in the long term i want to be a Master. But, yeah, I'm sorry i have poor communication skills online. Anyway, is there anyway for me to close this thread? got the advise i need, atleast for now.


Ok, I see I made no impact with the personal pronoun bizzo.... <shrugs>

And I don't think your communication skills are so bad for a relative newbie here. There'll always be regulars (like KnightofMists) taking issue with how the new meat expresses themselves. Me, I'd interpret the issue he's taken you to task on as you wanting to be the best you can be. Me, too, which is why presentation is important (that personal pronoun bizzo again).

But "closing" this thread"? I s'pose you could tell a tale about how you're not attracted to BBW's and dollars to dirt the Mods will be closing it down within a day or two.... [:-]

Beyond that, re-inventing history so something didn't happen is pretty much grouped with learning to be a dom, or Master - fantasy.

Focus.


Oh I just sometimes dont capitalize because I need to type something quick. And I mean I dont plan on visiting this thread so I just dont want people coming to this thread and getting mad at me for not answering.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 8:57:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

In the short term i want to be a good dom. But, in the long term i want to be a Master. But, yeah, I'm sorry i have poor communication skills online. Anyway, is there anyway for me to close this thread? got the advise i need, atleast for now.


I thought you were already doing everything the poem said?

If that's the case, then why the need for this thread to disappear?



JeffBC -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 9:02:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose
It wasnt. It never is. Btw i was able to find a temporary sub to play with, she is willing to help me learn the ropes, learn with practice. So i would have more expirence in the real thing. So, yeah. wish me luck.

Good luck :)

OK, here's my favorite piece of real world, honest-to-gosh leadership wisdom... no BDSM spin, no made up magic. It's short, sweet, but each point can be pondered AT LENGTH until you really get it. Aside from being the kind of man someone wants to follow you're also going to need to be the kind of leader that's capable of leading effectively.

http://www.think-energy.net/Colin-Powell-on-Leadership.pdf



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 9:22:53 PM)

Great little leadership primer, ty Jeff.



JeffBC -> RE: Advice on becoming a Master (11/11/2013 9:31:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Great little leadership primer, ty Jeff.

Your welcome. It is, hands down, the most condensed bit of leadership wisdom I've ever run across. Sadly, it's very real worldy which, I think, tends to ruin the fun from a BDSM perspective.



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