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Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 7:55:20 AM   
CobaltRose


Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		I would just like some advice so i can build confidence so i can become a great Master who makes his slave feel at home, feel safe and secure and loved.
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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:24:49 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Find the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling. Read it. Do it.

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:26:29 AM   
CobaltRose


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Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Find the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling. Read it. Do it.


Thanks! But i was hoping for a little bit more detail.

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:29:22 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose
I would just like some advice so i can build confidence so i can become a great Master who makes his slave feel at home, feel safe and secure and loved.

OK, some more detail.

#1) Define clearly in your own mind what you mean by "master"
#2) Be that.
#3) Define clearly in your own mind what you mean by "slave"
#4) Make someone else that.
#5) Opt for the "sensible leader" approach more than the "selfish idiot" option.
#6) Happy M/s relationship ensues.

I know those sound trite but you'd be surprised how many of those steps are routinely skipped in favor of getting right to the blowjobs on demand part.


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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:31:33 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		You don't think that poem has details? What are YOU reading?

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:32:52 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		I suspect this 'master' didn't bother to read it. He expects you to spoon feed him. Sad, really.

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:33:19 AM   
CobaltRose


Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		Kind of Master I want to be: Kind, yet firm. Loving, yet dominating. I want to be a source of security

Kind of Slave I want: Loyal, kinky, sexy, and loving. Someone who lives to serve me and loves it.

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:34:27 AM   
CobaltRose


Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I suspect this 'master' didn't bother to read it. He expects you to spoon feed him. Sad, really.


Actually i did read it. I have been doing those things. But being a master has to be more than just "being a man"

< Message edited by CobaltRose -- 11/11/2013 8:37:14 AM >

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:35:41 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I suspect this 'master' didn't bother to read it. He expects you to spoon feed him. Sad, really.


Actually i did read it. I have been doing those things. But being a master has to be more than just "being a man"


Nope. That is about the sum total of it.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:38:17 AM   
CobaltRose


Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I suspect this 'master' didn't bother to read it. He expects you to spoon feed him. Sad, really.


Actually i did read it. I have been doing those things. But being a master has to be more than just "being a man"


Nope. That is about the sum total of it.

i want advice on for example how to give out punishments so im not doing too much, but at the same time not too little. That takes more than just "being a man"

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:38:56 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Being a master has to do with being your *own* man -- or woman.

If you read the poem, that I most strongly suggest spending more than 5 seconds thinking about what changes you would have to make both in your thought processes and your actions, to even come *close* to what Kipling states is required of a 'man.' BTW: By man he means your own person, it has nothing to do with gender, in my mind at least.

I'm almost 60 years old, and though I strive to bend my mind to much of what he says, I can easily say most days I never come close to accomplishing it.

How are you doing?

Are you Kipling's version of your own person?

You know, you asked for advice on becoming a master and gave *zero* specifics. So I strongly suggest improving your communication skills as well.


< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 11/11/2013 8:41:40 AM >

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:42:15 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

i want advice on for example how to give out punishments so im not doing too much, but at the same time not too little. That takes more than just "being a man"



Actually, very few of us have a punishment dynamic. It rarely works well any way.

And if that's how you define Master, then please don't call yourself one.

You're wrong...being a Master is about being a man the "s" side desires to follow. If you have to punish to get an "s" to follow you....you're clearly not really dominant, just domineering.


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:43:20 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I suspect this 'master' didn't bother to read it. He expects you to spoon feed him. Sad, really.


Actually i did read it. I have been doing those things. But being a master has to be more than just "being a man"


Nope. That is about the sum total of it.

i want advice on for example how to give out punishments so im not doing too much, but at the same time not too little. That takes more than just "being a man"



Figure out what you are doing wrong that would resort to your considering "punishing" someone. You don't usually here of executives giving orders to their employees and wondering about how to punish them if they don't follow through completely... Generally they look for ACCOMPLISHMENTS rather than FAILURE. That is how you become a good man and build trust... look to build people up rather than chastising them.


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to CobaltRose)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:45:11 AM   
CobaltRose


Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

i want advice on for example how to give out punishments so im not doing too much, but at the same time not too little. That takes more than just "being a man"



Actually, very few of us have a punishment dynamic. It rarely works well any way.

And if that's how you define Master, then please don't call yourself one.

You're wrong...being a Master is about being a man the "s" side desires to follow. If you have to punish to get an "s" to follow you....you're clearly not really dominant, just domineering.



Oh no, i hate punishing my slave. But some are into that, and i need advice on how to fufil their desires.

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:45:13 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		His disappointment is all the punishment I need.

quote:

Oh no, i hate punishing my slave. But some are into that, and i need advice on how to fufil their desires.

Oh, so your real question is, "How do I become a service top?"

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 11/11/2013 8:46:37 AM >

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:46:12 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		clearly, something is missing, and as it is 2 a.m., I am going to bed. night folks.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 11/11/2013 8:49:34 AM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to CobaltRose)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:48:22 AM   
CobaltRose


Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		here is how i define a master: someone who is a source of security and love for the sub, someone who lets her explore her deepest, darkest desires. Someone who cares deeply for her, and wants her to have pleasure, wherever it may come from.

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:49:48 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

His disappointment is all the punishment I need.

quote:

Oh no, i hate punishing my slave. But some are into that, and i need advice on how to fufil their desires.

Oh, so your real question is, "How do I become a service top?"


Agreed.


OP, you would start by learning the difference between BDSM and D/s, M/s.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:49:55 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

Oh no, i hate punishing my slave. But some are into that, and i need advice on how to fufil their desires.



So ... you're willing to do something that you claim to hate because it's your partner's desire?

Hmmmm ... I would call this a successful D/s relationship but not in the way you might be thinking.





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Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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RE: Advice on becoming a Master - 11/11/2013 8:50:13 AM   
CobaltRose


Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

His disappointment is all the punishment I need.

quote:

Oh no, i hate punishing my slave. But some are into that, and i need advice on how to fufil their desires.

Oh, so your real question is, "How do I become a service top?"

No, i still wanna dominate her and stuff, but i also want to fuffil her desires as well. damn, its hard to keep up with all these replies.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 20
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