Curious question...

Curious question... (Full Version)

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SirScorpius -> Curious question... (11/11/2013 4:11:57 PM)
I have been in this lifestyle for several years. I am a Dom/Sir. I believe in the old leather style of Dominance.. With that being said, I have been considering things lately. I feel, to best guide my submissive, I need to continue to learn. Always. And I was considering what it was I needed to improve the most. As much as this is hard for me to admit, its understanding what my implements feel like to a submissive. Both physically and emotionally. I do not want to be dominated nor do I wan't to be a sub. However, I'd love to find someone that has experience to use my implements on me for a session so I could get a better understanding of how I am using them on my submissives.. Its one thing to spank my own ass with a paddle, but I want something a little.. Deeper... Would anyone be interested or know of anyone that may be able to help me. Thanks.

LadyPact -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 4:39:12 PM)
If you are somewhere close to a local kink community, couldn't you find somebody who plays as a casual top to do this? I wouldn't think that would be too hard.

SirScorpius -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 4:40:14 PM)
I am trying there as well, but thank you for the advice...

SweetAnise -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 4:42:01 PM)
I agree find or join a local group and attend a few play parties to experiment.

stef -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 4:44:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirScorpius Would anyone be interested or know of anyone that may be able to help me. Book a session with a pro. No muss, no fuss.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 5:11:36 PM)
~FR~ Personally, I find the whole idea of a dominant/top learning how implements feel by bottoming to be a waste of time. Your pain receptors and how your body processes endorphins are not going to be the same as anyone else's. What feels like a medium pain to you might be ZOMGWTFRED!!! to someone else and vice versa. If you're bound and determined to bottom to get a taste of what it feels like on the bottom, play with other tops in your area whose skills you admire or volunteer to be a demo bottom. Otherwise, pay for a pro. Those are your best options.

SirScorpius -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 6:24:40 PM)
Thanks for all the responses.. I have and am continuing to try locally.. I will probably not choose to pay for a professional, but I understand this suggestion. I'm looking for a peer.. I have a close friend that is a Domme, but I do not trust her experience just yet or I would inquire to her about this.. But, thank you all for the suggestions, they are appreciated..

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 6:25:48 PM)
I'd absolutely love to tie you to a cross, flog you and spank your bum, BUT I'm on the west coast. Also, I'm thinking a Pro might be your best bet. Tell her what you're looking for and work something out. It's also very discreet if that's an issue for you. NBMG

kalikshama -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 7:25:54 PM)
quote: I'd love to find someone that has experience to use my implements on me for a session so I could get a better understanding of how I am using them on my submissives. Since you don't process pain as pleasure, I'm not sure how useful this would be for you. Your takeaway might be "masochists are crazy," lol. Perhaps of more value would be to go to demos/play parties and observe others, and of course practice, paying careful attention to her body language. Maybe your Domme friend would let you observe one of her sessions? And then you could judge for yourself if she is experienced enough for you. Best of luck!

SirScorpius -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 7:42:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: I'd love to find someone that has experience to use my implements on me for a session so I could get a better understanding of how I am using them on my submissives. Since you don't process pain as pleasure, I'm not sure how useful this would be for you. Your takeaway might be "masochists are crazy," lol. Perhaps of more value would be to go to demos/play parties and observe others, and of course practice, paying careful attention to her body language. Maybe your Domme friend would let you observe one of her sessions? And then you could judge for yourself if she is experienced enough for you. Best of luck! Thank you.. And I agree with everything that you are saying.. I am very in tune with my sub.. I understand her thresholds and we communicate well.. Perhaps I am just looking to gain more knowledge.. And maybe I am going about it in the wrong way. I am not perfect, and am just continually trying to educate myself. I have observed play parties and I've observed other Dom's with their subs.. I suppose its just a curiosity maybe.. Nonetheless, thanks for your response and input, its appreciated..

kalikshama -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 7:44:49 PM)
You have a fantastic attitude and will do great :)

JeffBC -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 10:06:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact If you are somewhere close to a local kink community, couldn't you find somebody who plays as a casual top to do this? I wouldn't think that would be too hard. laughs Or go to a private party where LadyPact is... that worked for me. EVERYONE wanted to play "whack the dom" LOL

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Curious question... (11/11/2013 10:10:09 PM)
You're in Louisville, try their chapter of ClubFem.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Curious question... (11/12/2013 9:25:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt You're in Louisville, try their chapter of ClubFem. This. Also, are you on FetLife? Here is a link to Louisville, KY from Fetlife. There are over 5,000 kinksters registered in your area. There are 20 upcoming events listed, and several BDSM groups that you can join. Here is the link for the Fetlife page for Louisville. However, I believe you'll have to log on to see it. So if you're not a member of Fetlife, you'll have to create a profile. But don't worry, the site is completely free, and it's the best source for info about real-time events. Fetlife Louisville page I hope that helps. -Roch

SirScorpius -> RE: Curious question... (11/12/2013 2:05:34 PM)
Thank you all.. Yes, I am on Fetlife and posted the exact question verbatim in their discussion forum. It didn't go well, my post was removed and I was warned for posting an AD. After further trying to explain I was further reprimanded. This has been my experience with Fetlife for some reason, I have not had much luck. I am attending a Hump Day meeting tomorrow, not sure its a munch per say, but maybe it will help ease the Fetlife experience.

Ilyrium -> RE: Curious question... (11/12/2013 3:41:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef Book a session with a pro. No muss, no fuss. But, would paying for it have the same impact?

JeffBC -> RE: Curious question... (11/12/2013 7:16:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium But, would paying for it have the same impact? He is a dom and a top. It could never have the same impact or anything like it. I assumed from his post that just like me, he is curious about the physical sensations. For me it was a calibration thing. There was no way I was going to contemplate hauling off and hitting the woman I love until I had some ballpark calibration for what various things might feel like at various levels (Me coming into this late in our marriage so having to stumble through on-the-fly).

SirScorpius -> RE: Curious question... (11/12/2013 7:43:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: Ilyrium But, would paying for it have the same impact? He is a dom and a top. It could never have the same impact or anything like it. I assumed from his post that just like me, he is curious about the physical sensations. For me it was a calibration thing. There was no way I was going to contemplate hauling off and hitting the woman I love until I had some ballpark calibration for what various things might feel like at various levels (Me coming into this late in our marriage so having to stumble through on-the-fly). Yes, you nailed my intent...

DesFIP -> RE: Curious question... (11/13/2013 1:58:11 PM)
I'm not sure why you can't just try most implements on yourself. Not a single tail, obviously. But a paddle or a cane you could easily whack yourself in the thigh with. Just to see if it's stingy or thuddy. However if it turns out you like sting and she likes thud, you still won't learn anything. Or if you have more pain tolerance than she does. Personally I'd skip this in favor of talking to her.

Lucylastic -> RE: Curious question... (11/14/2013 1:55:31 AM)
For me personally, it was helpful in finding out what a "wrap" felt like, the placement of cane or strap or whip, and just HOW different areas felt on my body, yes everyone is different, body wise. Having said that I became addicted to a thuddy flogging and the violet wand as well as loving wax and bondage occasionally as a bottom just my two cents:)

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