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RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 6:24:44 AM

Dyfrynt

Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
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"Whatever you do, do NOT spend time being a great friend in the hope that eventually you will be rewarded with sex."

Wise words. Unfortunately once you've been listed in the 'friend' column, it is very difficult to get off of it. Won't say it cannot be done, but it is rare. If she is now used to coming to you for emotional support, she is not going to think of you as a candidate for a more physical relationship. Equally true in both BDSM and vanilla circles. If you try to come on that you are looking for more, she will be unlikely to react well. Still if this is what you want it is best to find out if it is something she wants. If the answer is no, you need to accept that and look elsewhere for the hot, sweaty physical stuf.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 21

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 8:29:59 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
What are you trying to say, though?

There's no chemistry for her. And who would start a relationship with someone that doesn't turn them on?

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(in reply to Level)

Post #: 22

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 11:22:13 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJohnSteed

I've met someone one, and she was hurt by her ex pretty bad. I am trying my best to be a gentleman. Show her that a Gentleman can be a BAMF too. But I sense that she sees me as a "Friend".

What in the world do I do to get out of the Friend zone

You're fucked. You can't.

Yep. It's like a black hole, once you get sucked into it, you're stuck.

Not true. I'm married and madly in love with a man that was my platonic friend for three years.

I can't tell you what changed. One night it clicked and that was it.

But, I can tell you that when he was my friend, he was genuinely my friend. He didn't hit on me. And not once until we had agreed to a power dynamic did he ever attempt to behave like "bad ass mother fucker".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 23

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 12:33:00 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJohnSteed

I've met someone one, and she was hurt by her ex pretty bad. I am trying my best to be a gentleman. Show her that a Gentleman can be a BAMF too. But I sense that she sees me as a "Friend".

What in the world do I do to get out of the Friend zone

This fucking shit again.

A woman does not "owe" you sex, because you are a self perceived gentleman. Maybe she's not interested, maybe she isn't looking for a relationship right now. Maybe you aren't as spectacular as you think you are.

Do you expect to touch your male friends dicks every time you go out for a beer? Probably not, and there's no logical reason to expect more from someone who sees you as a friend.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 11/23/2013 12:34:13 PM >

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(in reply to MasterJohnSteed)

Post #: 24

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 1:14:49 PM

SweetAmber32

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline

I agree with what AthenaSurrenders said. Ask her. Talk to her. But don't be an ass. Be respectful. You'd either have to accept that she would just want friendship, and leave it at that; or she might want more too, but is too afraid, nervous to say anything. I wish you luck.

I'm astounded at the amount of psychics and mind readers on the forums. Y'all gather from his couple of sentences, and his SENSE that she wants just friendship, that you can see what's in HER mind. Y'all are acting no better than the patrons that refused to tip the server, because they ASSUMED she was gay.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 25

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 1:21:59 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

Seeing the words "son of a bitch" and "bad ass mother fucker" when referring to yourself makes me wonder, OP. Especially since you seem to make the difference between those two terms and being a gentleman as mutually exclusive. Why? Being dominant does not automatically equate with being a douchebag asshole. It's ok to be a gentleman. There isn't anything wrong with that.

If she has been screwed up over a past relationship, the last thing she needs in her life is a wolf in sheep's clothing sniffing around. In other words, you trying to get with her while being bitter about being in the friend zone just isn't right. Either truly be her friend or be honest about your intentions. But don't pretend to be a friend just because you think it's going to mean she will reward your good deeds with attraction to you that she might not feel.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 11/23/2013 1:22:59 PM >

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 26

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 1:32:42 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJohnSteed
I've met someone one, and she was hurt by her ex pretty bad.

Don't let her get naked around you until that hurt is a distant memory. Have sex with happy women, and they will make you happy too.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MasterJohnSteed)

Post #: 27

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 1:45:54 PM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJohnSteed

I've met someone one, and she was hurt by her ex pretty bad. I am trying my best to be a gentleman. Show her that a Gentleman can be a BAMF too. But I sense that she sees me as a "Friend".

What in the world do I do to get out of the Friend zone

It would seem you are conflating sexual access to a female with being a "bad ass motherfucker." I'm not certain why you seem to be connecting the two.

So you don't want to just be a friend to a woman? Fine. Be a bass ass motherfucker and have the proverbial balls to ask her out. If she refuses, take it like a bad ass motherfucker and move on. Next subject...

Edited to add: See this for a humorous take on the subject.

< Message edited by MarcEsadrian -- 11/23/2013 2:00:00 PM >

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(in reply to MasterJohnSteed)

Post #: 28

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 1:51:49 PM

directiveerror

Posts: 128
Joined: 11/17/2013
Status: offline

hmmm it seems a lot of the advice on here is geared toward "limiting the competition" ... either that or men really only like the easy targets... which is rather silly i would think all of them know that the ones that are smiling and happy all the time are the ones that are going to blow up their truck down the road. every woman is going to try to have someone be their friend its not a corral its a doorway... once you are their friend it opens up possibilities not limits them. the ones that are just going to smile and do what ever you want are using you... think about it. why does a guy smile and nod and and just say "uh huh, ok hunny".... because they aren't listening. women do the exact same thing, if she is smiling and nodding constantly it means she doesnt give a flying hoot what you have to say, thinks you are full of it and is just waiting until she gets what she wants from knowing you to make a quick exit... not a bad thing if you just want sex. if you want a relationship however, than the 'friendzone' is an awesome place to be... prove you can be her friend first and shes a lot more likely to trust you when other things come into play. you will get exactly what you are looking for, sex really isnt that hard to find... whats hard to find is someone who will listen to you both when you are sincere and when they entirely dont agree and have your back anyway. if you just want the first dont try to be nice at all go to a bar find a lonely woman and use the "let me see your hands" trick. if you want a relationship get in the 'friendzone' as fast as possible.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 29

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 8:26:46 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity
Being dominant does not automatically equate with being a douchebag asshole. It's ok to be a gentleman. There isn't anything wrong with that.

It makes me sad that so many equate being an asshole with being dominant. (Both genders) They confuse being domineering with being dominant.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 30

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 8:57:05 PM

MasterJohnSteed

Posts: 217
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

don't have to worry about it any more

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(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 31

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 9:22:14 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJohnSteed

I've met someone one, and she was hurt by her ex pretty bad. I am trying my best to be a gentleman. Show her that a Gentleman can be a BAMF too. But I sense that she sees me as a "Friend".

What in the world do I do to get out of the Friend zone

You're fucked. You can't.

Yep. It's like a black hole, once you get sucked into it, you're stuck.

Not true. I'm married and madly in love with a man that was my platonic friend for three years.

I can't tell you what changed. One night it clicked and that was it.

But, I can tell you that when he was my friend, he was genuinely my friend. He didn't hit on me. And not once until we had agreed to a power dynamic did he ever attempt to behave like "bad ass mother fucker".

Fine. Ruin my comment with reality, see if I care

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 32

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 10:07:48 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I can't tell you what changed. One night it clicked and that was it.

Yep.

I can't tell you what happened, either. It just did.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 33

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/23/2013 10:59:40 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJohnSteed

don't have to worry about it any more

Oh come now Big John,you hafta give us more than that...

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HST

(in reply to MasterJohnSteed)

Post #: 34

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/24/2013 1:21:00 AM

BecomingV

Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian
So you don't want to just be a friend to a woman? Fine. Be a bass ass motherfucker and have the proverbial balls to ask her out. If she refuses, take it like a bad ass motherfucker and move on. Next subject...

Edited to add: See this for a humorous take on the subject.

Thank you, MarcEsadrian! That link is hilarious and true.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 35

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/24/2013 5:37:19 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian
So you don't want to just be a friend to a woman? Fine. Be a bass ass motherfucker and have the proverbial balls to ask her out. If she refuses, take it like a bad ass motherfucker and move on. Next subject...

Edited to add: See this for a humorous take on the subject.

Thank you, MarcEsadrian! That link is hilarious and true.

The link was great. OP and anyone else who is at all confused by being a male friend to a woman, watch it for the next time that this subject comes up in your life.

Even though the OP suggests this situation is over, the subject is still valid. I will say for myself that anytime I have gotten a whiff of a male friend trying to deceive me by pretending to be my friend and really waiting for me to let down my guard (and/or pants), I lose any shred of respect I had for him and toss him out of my life asap. I can never trust him again. I detest dishonesty, and this little game makes me feel used. Why would I want someone around in my life as a romantic partner if he played games in order to get to that position?

(in reply to BecomingV)

Post #: 36

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/24/2013 5:51:20 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJohnSteed

don't have to worry about it any more

That doesn't sound good. :(

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MasterJohnSteed)

Post #: 37

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/24/2013 9:20:08 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

It makes me sad that so many equate being an asshole with being dominant. (Both genders) They confuse being domineering with being dominant.

I mainly see this in self proclaimed 'nice guys'. The guys who figure they're owed sex for being friendly. The ones who pretend to be friends while waiting to jump her bones. Who feel entitled to have sex regardless of how the woman feels. Who are manipulative liars.

They claim that the confident and honest men these women choose are therefore assholes. Simply because these guys are honest and straight forward while the nice guys never are that.

Basically the ones who really don't believe that women are people in their own right and therefore are free to choose who they will and won't have sex with.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 38

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/24/2013 10:36:01 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Why Do Chicks Dig Assholes?

I loved reason # 3, which explains why some "nice guys" are the real assholes.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 39

RE: Gentleman or Son of a Bitch? - 11/24/2013 10:39:21 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

It makes me sad that so many equate being an asshole with being dominant. (Both genders) They confuse being domineering with being dominant.

I mainly see this in self proclaimed 'nice guys'. The guys who figure they're owed sex for being friendly. The ones who pretend to be friends while waiting to jump her bones. Who feel entitled to have sex regardless of how the woman feels. Who are manipulative liars.

They claim that the confident and honest men these women choose are therefore assholes. Simply because these guys are honest and straight forward while the nice guys never are that.

Basically the ones who really don't believe that women are people in their own right and therefore are free to choose who they will and won't have sex with.

Ha! You nailed the video...and I'm guessing you didn't watch it.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 40

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