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RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 6:33:48 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

*wonders if any have a submissive named "sharona".... and how they got the knack of such a relationship....*
 
Anyone serving me would call me by my name, and/or sir. They could even call me "hey you" as long as I were in a good mood


Cracking the hell up over here, Level


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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 6:39:08 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDaniel

Any thoughts from some one else?
Hey SirDaniel, hope the new putt is coming along fine. My slave refers to me simply as Master the majority of the time, whether in person, speaking to someone else or when she is referring to me when writing a post. In the interest of clarity she does state "My Master" or "Master Mine" when it involves written word on occasion. I don't feel she is implying in any way a statement of ownership, but more that she does associate me as an extention of herself. I see it as a non-issue in those cases and more of a way to impart distinction between myself and someone else who also falls under the Master classification. 

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Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to SirDaniel)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 6:39:29 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		My ex preferred, (when I was not required to use slavespeak), that I use "my Master."  To him, it illustrated that he was my only Master, and that I recognized that fact.  It showed his ownership of me, not mine of him. 

_____________________________

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 6:59:16 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

No one seems to be addressing the question of how are you introduced, say to family, or in a real life work, social setting. Surely you don't introduce " your Lord" to your boss, or your grandma, or your children? Is this another example of how people fail to integrate BDSM into their everyday life? Just a question.. don't get your knickers in a knot please!.



That is a *really* good question.  I would be interested in knowing how others deal with that.  I personally have never lived with a Dom/Master, nor introduced one to my family.  So I don't have any input on this, but would love to hear how others address this issue.

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 7:03:55 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I say "my Master" quite frankly, because it's easier and my Master doesn't care if I say "my Master."  I certainly do not need reminding that he owns me, I feel it with every breath.  He certainly doesn't need reminding that he is my Master; he is well aware.  I think he would think it a little silly if I went around referring to him all the time as "He who owns me" or "the Master who owns me".  I don't own him any more than I own "my desk" at work, which technically "my company" owns and I am just allowed to use it....but then it's not really "my company" either, it is "the company in which I work."

"My laptop" is actually "the laptop owned by the company in which I work, which I am allowed to use for the job I do"



Funny funny funny.  I am quite literally, laughing my ass off.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 7:05:05 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

No one seems to be addressing the question of how are you introduced, say to family, or in a real life work, social setting. Surely you don't introduce " your Lord" to your boss, or your grandma, or your children? Is this another example of how people fail to integrate BDSM into their everyday life? Just a question.. don't get your knickers in a knot please!.



That is a *really* good question.  I would be interested in knowing how others deal with that.  I personally have never lived with a Dom/Master, nor introduced one to my family.  So I don't have any input on this, but would love to hear how others address this issue.


I've never had a problem with a person who saw herself as my slave introducing me in a vanilla setting just as John Warren.  Online everything is built around words, but in the face to face world, I see actions as being the building blocks and what she calls me isn't anywhere near as important as how she acts toward me.

Besides, I wouldn't have a slave who is rude, and to introduce me in a way that would make the listeners uncomfortable is a significant rudeness.



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(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 7:15:41 AM   
SmokeyM


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Depending on the situtation at hand would depend on what I was addressed as. Ms, Syr, Ma'am is always a good thing. The fact of putting 'my' in front of it. The 'my' can be an owning thing, but when you add on behind it a stronger word such as Master/ Mistress, Owner and so on. It softs the strength of the 'my'. IMHO
- Smokey

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 7:28:35 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDaniel


How can a slave own a Master? When the slave is the one that is owned property?



Because when you break through the fantasy and the ego trip of it all, its really a mutual exchange.  No one is *really* property.  We, including myself, use the word "owned", and like to *feel* like property because it enhances and deepens the passions, emotions, and the bond in the relationship.  The term "owned" as it applies to Ds/Ms relationships is in a much different context than the term "owned" as it applies to the rest of our lives in the world we live, outside of our relationship, when we interact with others in a non-bdsm context.  I would imagine it would be confusing for a slave to have to live in two different mindsets.  Do you ever say to her, for instance, "pick up your clothes?"  Or do you say "pick up the clothes that this slave wears"?   How natural would that feel for you?  Just some food for thought. 
 
 Having said that.....
 
If your slave using the phrase "The Master who owns me" works for each of you and does something to float your boat,  then I think there is nothing wrong with it.  It may seem humorous, or tedious to others, but we all have that little seemingly meaningless thing that just takes us deeper into our power exchange, or helps remind us of our mutual places in the relationship.  For you maybe its that phrase, for me, maybe is something else.  I think if that is your reason for having your slave do this, then its all good.  But if its because you're so caught up in it, that you have lost sight of it being about mutuality, then it becomes a problem and you need to do a reality check.  

(in reply to SirDaniel)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 7:33:00 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		My slave(s) may refer you me as "my" if they wish... it cuts down on flowery language and people get the point that I am connected to them, nothing more...
 
They also call me "Mystress" so even if we're in chat, I know by the spelling that they are referring to me in a crowd of others...
 
To me, Mystress is a term of endearment and respect, not some title I claim...
 

(in reply to SirDaniel)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 7:48:32 AM   
AhuraMazda


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/4/2006
Status: offline 		In the vanilla world, it is not so much the ownership issue,  how many people not in the lifestyle, and may not even know this site exists, refer to each other as My wife, or My husband or my other (better) half?   It is the title that freaks people out, Oh what a obscene thing to submit to someone's will, and yet it is done all the time with out the truth of it.  I agree with JohnWarren,  There is not a need to shock or offend or be rude to those that don't understand or agree,  I introduce her as my slave as my girl, and her name, this works with family or anyone, in the inverse she intoduces me as her Man,
I do not require the world to know our relationship, as long as we do.

My life is mine, but why should I allow or cause it to be a problem for someone else? I find no pleasure or gain in that. 

AhuraMazda
Name is from Mythos

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 7:50:45 AM   
MadamShy


Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		My pet refers to Me as Kashna ... it is Gorean Red Savage for Mistress ... yes when addressing Me in public he still calls Me Kashna .. no one knows what Kashna Means they most likely just think its My name ...

to be introduced in a vanilla setting ... My Lady

ones that serve Me but are not collared ...Ma'am  or Madame pronounced ..Mah dom....

other friends either Lifestyle Dominate or Vanilla ... Shy

W/we intergrate BDSM lifestyle in Most of O/our life  someway or another most friends respect it if they don't I notice they soon fade away from U/us without even missing them...

then again the question was how does a slave address you and at the moment I don't own any slaves My owned and collared male is a pet ...a little different in meaning but I think in this case same outcome...






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Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 8:01:31 AM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

[
While it's quite probable you will find umbrage with 'familiar', the one I serve (someday) would not find a problem with my being either polite nor affectionate.

There are some who refuse to use 'I' when they chat here.  Apparently one can be so totally 'owned' as not to have identy?  This girl finds such ritual tedious and more than a little difficult to read.   Still, that we are all different shows up in the richly colored fabric of life.  Personally, I appreciated your question and the spirit with which you stick to it; the responses have been interesting, to boot!

quote:

SirDaniel 
This is what I do and why. What do you do and why.


beverly



Exceptionally well said!!....i agree

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 8:47:34 AM   
spectreandnectre


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: nebraska
Status: offline 		When talking to others i refer to Him as my Master, but both of U/us feel that what was said earlier applies He is as much mine as i am His.

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(in reply to masteroffire)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 9:10:13 AM   
slavejlb


Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		How you address a Master, Mistress, or dom, depends upon the setting you are in.
If you follow the Gorean way of life, then all men are Master, and free woman Mistress,
if in just a reg setting, then if the Master is not your personal you should be address Sir, and if lady is not your mistress, maam,

(in reply to spectreandnectre)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 9:46:31 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejlb

How you address a Master, Mistress, or dom, depends upon the setting you are in.
If you follow the Gorean way of life, then all men are Master, and free woman Mistress,
if in just a reg setting, then if the Master is not your personal you should be address Sir, and if lady is not your mistress, maam,



I agree with this. My last slave used to refer to me at times as "Master of my heart and soul"... But basically it will be Master for me and Mistress for Neets unless family are around or on many vanilla settings and then it's Bear or Neets.. Introductios (lifestyle and lifestyle friendly folks it will be "Master Iron Bear or Mistress Neets" with most others it will me Bear or Neets. Part of slave training with us includes what, how and when to use various address formats.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 10:28:29 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I say "my Master" quite frankly, because it's easier and my Master doesn't care if I say "my Master."  I certainly do not need reminding that he owns me, I feel it with every breath.  He certainly doesn't need reminding that he is my Master; he is well aware.  I think he would think it a little silly if I went around referring to him all the time as "He who owns me" or "the Master who owns me".  I don't own him any more than I own "my desk" at work, which technically "my company" owns and I am just allowed to use it....but then it's not really "my company" either, it is "the company in which I work."

"My laptop" is actually "the laptop owned by the company in which I work, which I am allowed to use for the job I do"



Funny funny funny.  I am quite literally, laughing my ass off.


Actually, I was really just being silly after a very interesting day.  I meant no disrespect to the OP. 

In fact, while I say "my Master" when speaking to others, it really is not a possessive reference at all.  Master at times will ask me such things as, "How do you feel, groveling at the feel of your Master?'  I know he does not imply that I possess him in any way, shape or form.

Conversely, because I am completely owned by him, all that is me is his.  Therefore, when I refer to myself or my body parts (my mouth, my eyes, my hair) I do not imply that I own them - he does.  There are times where we refer to parts of me as his, but that can also get confusing, "Your ass is sore today, Master." doesn't work so well.  I find myself sometimes referring to THE ass.  THE mouth.  THE tits...etc. 

But basically the only set rule there is with regards to how I address him is that he is Master or some other indication of his power and authority over me.  I do not refer to him by first name at all.  Never did, never would, unless some day came where he didn't own me anymore.

I do not, however, take any issue with the OPs rules - they are his rules and he's the boss when it comes to his slaves.  There are many slaves who must speak in 3rd person as demonstration they do not possess even themselves.  I am always uncomfortable with the criticism I see them get, so I would not do the same to another, regarding his rules.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 10:55:16 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I say "my Master" quite frankly, because it's easier and my Master doesn't care if I say "my Master."  I certainly do not need reminding that he owns me, I feel it with every breath.  He certainly doesn't need reminding that he is my Master; he is well aware.  I think he would think it a little silly if I went around referring to him all the time as "He who owns me" or "the Master who owns me".  I don't own him any more than I own "my desk" at work, which technically "my company" owns and I am just allowed to use it....but then it's not really "my company" either, it is "the company in which I work."

"My laptop" is actually "the laptop owned by the company in which I work, which I am allowed to use for the job I do"



Funny funny funny.  I am quite literally, laughing my ass off.


Actually, I was really just being silly after a very interesting day.  I meant no disrespect to the OP. 




ownedgirlie:
 
My sincere apologies if I caused you to feel the need to qualify your statement.  My intention was not to misconstrue your statement or to play off of it in order to disrespect anyone. 
 
I hope no offense was taken.  I will be more careful of that in the future.
 
Sincerely,
marie

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 12:27:49 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		I don't have a problem with being referred to as "My Mistress." To me, it's no different than being referred to by the people next door as "My neighbor."
I can see how symantics would play an issue if 3rd person speech was being used though.
For vanilla purposes, I'm ok with much more personally demeaning descriptors. ("My girlfriend." *ick*) But hey, you do what the situation calls for I suppose.
I'm personally rather fond of referring to my slaves in vanilla environments as "My INsignificant other."

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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 2:36:27 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		When a collar is given, or negotiation has been made... a subissive or slave owns the promises that Dominant has made as much as the Dominant owns the submissive's.  And maybe...just maybe... each person can capture the other's heart.

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In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to masteroffire)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How does a slave address you - 5/28/2006 3:20:55 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Fox calls me "Mistress" and when referring to me around others in the scene its either just "Mistress" again, "she" or "TammyJo" so they know how I am. He does not. as SirDaniel says, own me so the my is bit tricky and best left off unless required for clarity's sake.

Even when I train I write out that the trainee with call me "Milady" so that they learn not to use the word "my" in relationship to me.

In general though I think most people just use it as a sign of affection or without thinking about the meaning of it as a possessive pronoun.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SirDaniel)
Profile   Post #: 60
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