RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 12:46:25 PM

MissKittyDeVine

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As a Brit, crossing town is a long way to me

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

I was going to mildly disagree with "local" (on the grounds that public transport isn't that expensive). But then I remembered that Americans and Brits have very different definitions of that particular word.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 12:52:45 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenKittenSub
the poses/fakers/time-wasters don't just waste time. They also damage your ability to trust so when you do find someone legit, it's all you can do not to be all paranoid at them.

Maybe focus on real-life meetings and limit the cyber? After I uninstalled Yahoo from my computer, I started meeting a lot more women in real life.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 1:21:53 PM

RavenKittenSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Maybe focus on real-life meetings and limit the cyber? After I uninstalled Yahoo from my computer, I started meeting a lot more women in real life.

You're probably right. My location makes it non-trivial to meet in person, though, and video is a nice way to get to know someone.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 1:29:44 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx

To those that offered advice, thanks. Much appreciated and opened our thoughts to some alternatives.

Would love to dog the "critics" but we have better things to do on Thanksgiving than sit in front of a computer as opposed to enjoying time with our real life friends & family.

Also learned: another reason why we do not engage on forums, meh.

Actually, while you may have better things to do on Thanksgiving, you DID take the time away from family and friends to give the above rude reply.

I understand you were likely "venting" over the difficulties of finding what you want. However, you have been on this site less than a year. Do you honestly believe you are that much more attractive or offer that much more to the unicorn you seek?

So while you so "generously" thought you could enlighten the posters here, let me clue you in on some things. The rent you expect for a room, even excluding the fact that you will expect this person to be your obedient slave is out of range for your area.

Calling yourselves "dominants" and put some form of that in your handle is meaningless. At the moment, you are not master or mistress because you have no slave. So your arrogant presentation in your profile is going to turn off any potential unicorn that might find your picture appealing.

Your time has much less value that you put on it.

You "lauded" them with threats of real harm? First to "laud" someone is to give praise. Yes, there are many grammar, spelling and punctuation "nazis" here, and when someone tries to present themselves as "uber" knowledgeable and yet make such a mistake as this, it is truly amusing. What you actually said was that you praised them with threats of real harm. Hope you have someone with more knowledge of vocabulary on your business payroll.

Also, you threatened someone with harm, which is a crime, while them talking to you and having cybersex with you, making you believe they were female, not male is NOT a crime, since you say yourself they never asked for money, and you are pissed that they committed a fraud against your TIME which you put great value on.

As Chatte mentioned (I think it was her, if not sorry to who it really was), you have a large kink community at your disposal and instead decide to resort to various complicated forms of "verfication." There are many more seekers of unicorns than there are unicorns. Since what you seek is very rare, they can pick and choose who they care to speak with and can tell you to shove your verification up your ass where it belongs because there are at least a dozen other couples seeking them at that very moment.

Biggest lesson you need to learn? Until some actual agreement is made, you giving "permission" to subs to write you is a joke. Try acting like a human being and getting to know someone you want living in your house before getting into the sex part. When there is chemistry between people intellectually, the sex will usually follow.

You are being interviewed and "considered" much more than you are doing to the other. Why? Men so outnumber women on this site, we don't have to bow down to anyone just because they call themselves dominant and they identify as sub.

Welcome to the forums. Considering your need for education, you could learn a great deal here.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 1:36:36 PM

Apocalypso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Yes, there are many grammar, spelling and punctuation "nazis" here

"Nazis" should be capitalised.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 1:46:32 PM

MariaB

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A friend of mine and a well respected dominant on his own turf, got chatting to a female sub on here (this is years ago). He saw pictures, talked to her on the phone but never saw her on cam. They arranged a meet, she cancelled last minute. He re-scheduled, she pulled out with some elaborate excuse. He dumped her but she begged for one more chance. The following weekend they met up at a restaurant. Fortunately he was just getting out of his car in the car park when she recognised him and approached him. She was a he in drag and from the moment he saw him it was blindly obvious. I laughed when he told me which was a bit thoughtless. Its just, if it can happen to someone like him then it can happen to anyone. More often than not you will be talking to a man when you think you're talking to a woman. Always be suspicious until you know better.

My only advice is, don't hang around. Choose someone closer to home and meet them as soon as possible or as someone else here suggested, get yourself out into your local community because that's where you will find her.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 2:06:31 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Yes, there are many grammar, spelling and punctuation "nazis" here

"Nazis" should be capitalised.

I do know that, however, my hatred of the WWII Nazis keeps me from doing it. Kind of like not using a capital "M" or "D" for master, mistress, or dominant.

My own personal fuck you those who identify as the hateful Nazis, where my use was more tongue in cheek.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 2:07:49 PM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Yes, there are many grammar, spelling and punctuation "nazis" here

"Nazis" should be capitalised.

<tips hat> I salute you.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 2:16:59 PM

LafayetteLady

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Salute all you want. Capitalizing it, to me, would be showing them respect, which I refuse to do.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 2:41:37 PM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Salute all you want. Capitalizing it, to me, would be showing them respect, which I refuse to do.

Easy tiger!

Like you, I'm not a fan of zealous grammar policing, I just thought it was a nifty response.

If you chose not to capitalize a proper noun to make a point, fill your boots. As long as you appreciate that those of us who do capitalize it aren't making the opposite point.... I don't capitalize the "n" in Nazi as a sign of respect, I capitalize it because that feels grammatically correct. As it happens, many people don't use a capital "n" so there's a strong case that either use is correct.

Big hug.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 3:20:39 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Salute all you want. Capitalizing it, to me, would be showing them respect, which I refuse to do.

Easy tiger!

Like you, I'm not a fan of zealous grammar policing, I just thought it was a nifty response.

If you chose not to capitalize a proper noun to make a point, fill your boots. As long as you appreciate that those of us who do capitalize it aren't making the opposite point.... I don't capitalize the "n" in Nazi as a sign of respect, I capitalize it because that feels grammatically correct. As it happens, many people don't use a capital "n" so there's a strong case that either use is correct.

Big hug.

If I came off as a roaring tiger, that was not my intent. While I'm not Jewish, I have very strong feelings regarding the events of WWII, especially after my visit to Poland last year and touring Auschwitz.

Basically, I just wanted to make clear why I wrote it the way I did. Just like I never capitalize things like "master" or "dominant" because they aren't mine (I'm not sub anyway). I tend to type in proper format capitalizing what should be, except for those things that just seem wrong to give them that respect to me.

You are right, capitalizing it is the correct method, and I have no qualms with those that do. However, there is also the viewpoint that there are the "real" WWII Nazis, whereas "grammar nazis" is a bit different and the nazi in the latter is not necessarily a proper noun.

Either way, it's all good. For me, it is just after seeing Auschwitz, Schindler's Museum and Anne Frank's attic, my opinions on that particular issue are extremely strong.

In any case, I was just so completely amused by the OP's use of the "lauded" when he obviously didn't know the meaning, I couldn't help but comment.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 3:29:46 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx

Also learned: another reason why we do not engage on forums, meh.

Because they won't pat you on the head and give you sympathy?

Here's the bottom line:

Yup, people on the internet lie.

However, you engaged in power dynamics with someone you didn't know and hadn't even met. So, you can't blame anyone else but yourself for your time being wasted.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 8:03:42 PM

SeekingTrinity

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx

To those that offered advice, thanks. Much appreciated and opened our thoughts to some alternatives.

Would love to dog the "critics" but we have better things to do on Thanksgiving than sit in front of a computer as opposed to enjoying time with our real life friends & family.

Also learned: another reason why we do not engage on forums, meh.

Did you have better things to do when you typed out the 50,000 word rant that got this particular ball of dung rolling in the first place?

Or when you logged on to post this jewel?

Or how about when you were threatening people who dared cross you? Will you do like Samuel L. Jackson talked about in Pulp Fiction...where you will "strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger"? Or will you just suck it up and move on? The choice is entirely up to you.

Me personally, I think you bear sole responsibility for your time being wasted. Putting on your big boy and big girl pants isn't a bad thing. Just sayin'

Also FYI since you are new and all...stuff like this is like waving a red cape in front of a bull around here. You had to expect to get charged...and maybe gored a little bit

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 11/28/2013 8:05:58 PM >

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 8:32:47 PM

Kana

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quote:

another reason why we do not engage on forums, meh.

Cuz you don't like the responses you get?
Allrighty then.Mature much?

People have given good feedback.Just cuz you don't like it don't mean it's no good

And may I suggest that the "Take your ball and go home," technique is perhaps,lacking in a certaain je ne sais quoi that most people associate with, uhhhh, dominance and take charge type personalities. It's not as bad as,"I'm telling Mom," bbut it ain't too far off either

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 8:53:39 PM

Alice0in0Wonder

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I can't feel sorry for you after reading your profile. You two sound very vindictive in fact as soon as I read your journal and profile I instantly didn't feel safe. If I did contact you I'd be in fear all the time that if you thought I was fake or if I decided not to be with you two that you would out of spite try to destroy my life. Even worse if for some god forsaken reason I ignored my intuition and decided to move in with you two again what's to say that you wouldn't blackmail me or something? My point in unicorns need to feel safe just like any submissive and right now you're scaring them away.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 8:54:17 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenKittenSub

Well, I for one totally feel for the OP here. I mean, I get why posts like this aren't always a good idea... coming off as bitter and mistrustful is never a turn-on. But sometimes you've just got to vent.
And if I may offer a bit of addendum to the rant... the poses/fakers/time-wasters don't just waste time. They also damage your ability to trust so when you do find someone legit, it's all you can do not to be all paranoid at them.

I've never talked to a time waster or a fake. I've talked to people I have concluded, or they have, that I'm not compatible with but that's different. I've talked to people with no interest in any physicality or romantic future but just for the enjoyment of the conversation.

I pick good people. Those who consistently pick bad partners need to fix their people picking skills. Which means first they need to accept that they are picking unhealthy partners for them. And be willing to do the hard and painful work of why they can look into a crowded room and pick the one worst person for them.

If you keep doing the same thing, expect the same result.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 10:58:15 PM

RavenKittenSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I've never talked to a time waster or a fake. I've talked to people I have concluded, or they have, that I'm not compatible with but that's different. I've talked to people with no interest in any physicality or romantic future but just for the enjoyment of the conversation.

I pick good people. Those who consistently pick bad partners need to fix their people picking skills. Which means first they need to accept that they are picking unhealthy partners for them. And be willing to do the hard and painful work of why they can look into a crowded room and pick the one worst person for them.

If you keep doing the same thing, expect the same result.

Well, yes, I imagine people who do that probably do need to reevaluate how they look for partners. And I'm sure one of them will read through this thread, find your pithy words, and, I don't know, have a long-overdue rude awakening. Or something.

But if you intended that for me, I'm afraid my gripe is a bit less... dramatic. I simply find it frustrating and disheartening that fair percentage of guys who contact me seem to feel justified in telling whatever lies they think will get me to get naked on the cam. And yes, there are ways of reducing this and I'm getting better at filtering out the dross. And yes, it's the nature of the internet, and probably the nature of men. But you know what? It still sucks. And it's okay to say it sucks. And what's more, it's okay to say that the people who do it are scum.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 11:16:27 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenKittenSub

Well, yes, I imagine people who do that probably do need to reevaluate how they look for partners. And I'm sure one of them will read through this thread, find your pithy words, and, I don't know, have a long-overdue rude awakening. Or something.

But if you intended that for me, I'm afraid my gripe is a bit less... dramatic. I simply find it frustrating and disheartening that fair percentage of guys who contact me seem to feel justified in telling whatever lies they think will get me to get naked on the cam. And yes, there are ways of reducing this and I'm getting better at filtering out the dross. And yes, it's the nature of the internet, and probably the nature of men. But you know what? It still sucks. And it's okay to say it sucks. And what's more, it's okay to say that the people who do it are scum.

Agreed, but that's not quite what's going on the OP's post. It sounds like they were more than willing participants, giving out sexy tasks and collecting photo evidence. The implication being that this online back-and-forth was something they were enjoying. That's not quite the same as being pressured into engaging in something they didn't want to do in the first place. Were the lies wrong? Yes, absolutely. I agree, it's a scummy thing to do.

But the journal entry contains threats that anyone who wastes their time, or that they consider to be fake, will have their lives destroyed. That doesn't speak of someone with healthy attitudes or much sense of decency. Someone wasting your time online doesn't pose a threat to your safety - what they are proposing, does. I would consider that to be more scummy, especially since wasting time or being 'fake' is so subjective, we can only guess which of us they might feel justified ruining lives over.

The initial post didn't come off as a rant to me, more of a brag. As in, look how clever we are for catching this person out in our long and elaborate ways. Look how we reduced him to tears and taught him a valuable lesson. I think rather than sympathy they expected praise for their abilities, but actually they had good reasons to suspect from the very beginning and chose to keep pushing and playing - they were enjoying messing with him as much as he was messing with them.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/28/2013 11:37:47 PM

RavenKittenSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Agreed, but that's not quite what's going on the OP's post. It sounds like they were more than willing participants, giving out sexy tasks and collecting photo evidence. The implication being that this online back-and-forth was something they were enjoying. That's not quite the same as being pressured into engaging in something they didn't want to do in the first place. Were the lies wrong? Yes, absolutely. I agree, it's a scummy thing to do.

But the journal entry contains threats that anyone who wastes their time, or that they consider to be fake, will have their lives destroyed. That doesn't speak of someone with healthy attitudes or much sense of decency. Someone wasting your time online doesn't pose a threat to your safety - what they are proposing, does. I would consider that to be more scummy, especially since wasting time or being 'fake' is so subjective, we can only guess which of us they might feel justified ruining lives over.

The initial post didn't come off as a rant to me, more of a brag. As in, look how clever we are for catching this person out in our long and elaborate ways. Look how we reduced him to tears and taught him a valuable lesson. I think rather than sympathy they expected praise for their abilities, but actually they had good reasons to suspect from the very beginning and chose to keep pushing and playing - they were enjoying messing with him as much as he was messing with them.

It's certainly a very poor attitude to have, and one that's likely to drive people away. But threatening to expose people who've lied to you so as to extort the truth from them isn't actually harmful either, and it has a certain symmetry to it that I can appreciate.

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RE: The Epidemic of Scams, Fakes & Time-Wasters - 11/29/2013 1:24:34 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenKittenSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Agreed, but that's not quite what's going on the OP's post. It sounds like they were more than willing participants, giving out sexy tasks and collecting photo evidence. The implication being that this online back-and-forth was something they were enjoying. That's not quite the same as being pressured into engaging in something they didn't want to do in the first place. Were the lies wrong? Yes, absolutely. I agree, it's a scummy thing to do.

But the journal entry contains threats that anyone who wastes their time, or that they consider to be fake, will have their lives destroyed. That doesn't speak of someone with healthy attitudes or much sense of decency. Someone wasting your time online doesn't pose a threat to your safety - what they are proposing, does. I would consider that to be more scummy, especially since wasting time or being 'fake' is so subjective, we can only guess which of us they might feel justified ruining lives over.

The initial post didn't come off as a rant to me, more of a brag. As in, look how clever we are for catching this person out in our long and elaborate ways. Look how we reduced him to tears and taught him a valuable lesson. I think rather than sympathy they expected praise for their abilities, but actually they had good reasons to suspect from the very beginning and chose to keep pushing and playing - they were enjoying messing with him as much as he was messing with them.

It's certainly a very poor attitude to have, and one that's likely to drive people away. But threatening to expose people who've lied to you so as to extort the truth from them isn't actually harmful either, and it has a certain symmetry to it that I can appreciate.

Except that outing and blacklisting violate the TOS of the site.

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