quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenKittenSub

It's certainly a very poor attitude to have, and one that's likely to drive people away. But threatening to expose people who've lied to you so as to extort the truth from them isn't actually harmful either, and it has a certain symmetry to it that I can appreciate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx


We did make some very severe "threats" to drive some fakes to the point confession, to which we feel we just needed the "games" to come to a conclusion / closure.

quote:

Food for thought:

Why did over a dozen "sympathizers" not feel secure enough to offer their public support via the forum and opt instead to send private messages?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx

Some final thoughts.

We've had some time to cool off and reflect.

Some posts here initially made us want to blindly defend ourselves and our actions - but we were very angry and some posts only fueled the anger to rage. So, we're thankful that we had an opportunity to feel the love, encouragement and fulfillment found in our real-life family & friends. Amazing how being "built-up" for a day can impact ones own thoughts and perceptions.

Our post was multi-faceted. Mostly to vent and to a degree, offer some insight to newbies in the online realm. Did we, as one person suggest "brag"... um yes. Maybe a little. We feel (in retrospect) that airing our tactics to a forum that we were not established in was a grave error.

Lesson learned.

We did get about a dozen thoughtful, sympathetic private messages, which were much more the driving force of our re-evaluation than the few harsh critical posts here. We are blessed and thankful for many of the suggestions and constructive advice that has spurred us to re-evaluate and reconsider our approach.

To clarify a few small points. We accept responsibility for getting pulled into a game of time-wasting. However, there is a serious conundrum. Unicorns are rare, and we feel that some fakes exploit this to their advantage to play their games. So while there is a certain degree of time being wasted that is par for the game; this fact though does not make it less frustrating or disheartening. [End Vent]

We did make some very severe "threats" to drive some fakes to the point confession, to which we feel we just needed the "games" to come to a conclusion / closure.

No, we have not had to act on threats made.

But it came to making serious threats to some to get the hamster wheel to cease.

Sad the online environment is as contaminated as it is that it should come to that. [End Observation]

Moving forward, the above tactic is now under complete re-evaluation. Many of you offered some constructive advice here and via private message that has given us reason to pause, re-evaluate, regroup and reconsider our methods and incorporate some new, far more positive ideas.

So, thank you all for your posts and private messages. You all helped us to see the kernel of a different approach - it is a work in progress, evolving and growing as we adapt.

We wish you all the best.

PS: We are not as new or arrogant, or even dangerous as some accuse - but we acknowledge that this post here was not our best display. Thankfully, we and many others know us well enough that we got the encouragement we needed. [End Defense]

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx
But it came to making serious threats to some to get the hamster wheel to cease.

Sad the online environment is as contaminated as it is that it should come to that. [End Observation]

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx

Food for thought:

Why did over a dozen "sympathizers" not feel secure enough to offer their public support via the forum and opt instead to send private messages?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeamDomPhx
We then dug up her emails, and got an IP address, which put her in Connecticut (NOT Texas as she claimed).

Two tools that were invaluable for us are knowing how to find IP addresses, using image search tools like google and tineye and lastly, capitalizing on a little ignorance on behalf of the user.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I realised today after seeing yet another forum thread (elsewhere) that I have been seriously deprived.

The reason being: I did not have scores of cmails from fakes and scammers.

I have met quite a few people in r/l and they were all real.

Thinking back on it I wonder if the reason why I never found scores of fakes and wannabes is simply because I wasn't looking for them.

I sought information and found plenty of that.
I was interested in the possibility of friendships and  discovered people I could have that with in varying depths.
I was interested in connection and I found that too!

When one relationship ended, I did not wring my hands, nor gnash my teeth over how fake he turned out to be.
I was gratetful for the experience.
I learned.
In the beginning, I learned to trust.
In the middle, I learned that "direction was more important than speed".
In the end, I learned I was stronger than I knew.
We are still friends.

Now I am in a different relationship that is better suited to my needs.
I want to serve Him well...as well as He leads.

The chances of it lasting forever are pretty close to nil.
I am being realistic, not pessimistic: the odds that any relationship will last forever, is also pretty close to nil.
Rumor has it that people eventually die.
Today is all we ever really have.


So...I am  loving being His and loving my "happy middle".


IF it were to end tomorrow however, he will not suddenly go from being Master Wonderful to a scum sucking fake.

I know the search is frustrating to so many people.

There probably are tons of fakes, scammers, liars and wankers.
I just didn't notice them.
I was too busy getting to know good people and reading interesting posts to have much time for anything else, I think.