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RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 10:10:59 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Sounds like your Dom is a good one, and is making you think about these things.

pet, I'd like to hear your thoughts on these subjects.



I am guessing her dom would like to hear HER thoughts as well.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 10:14:16 AM   
pet1964


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/29/2013
Status: offline 		ahhh yet another good suggestion, but my i will have to double check to see if my insurance covers therapy,, I had it as a kid for the brattiness,, lol
got figure huh?
I know this all has to come from within,, i know this all too well.. and He is a very patient and loving man, so I think it will work out in the long run,,,
i do have my work cut out for me, but the want is finally here,, inside me, i've never wanted to change it before now because it was always accepted so why change..
i know i should have because it would have made me a better me, but i didn't realize that until very late in my life,, so I have a lifetime of changing to do, and being determined to do it is on my side!!

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 10:17:20 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pet1964

LET ME try again, I did NOT put it in my name, they got into my wallet, took my debit card and my SSN which is on my medicare card acted as if they were me and got the electric turned on,


Well, that has a very different meaning from your earlier statement:

quote:

the last one taught me he could take me for $1500 for the electric bill in my name because he didn't have credit


Which implies that you let him put it in your name because he didn't have credit.

Honestly, if things happened as you are now saying, I don't understand why you didn't go to the police or at least small claims court. Furthermore, Judge Judy would be delighted to have you all.

(in reply to pet1964)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 10:17:40 AM   
pet1964


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/29/2013
Status: offline 		lol

He's already gotten that,,
lol

I looked it up on Google got confuzzled then came here and good lord have mercy opened a can o worms i never knew would explode the way they did!!!

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 10:18:05 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		All insurance covers (or soon will be covering) mental health services.


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to pet1964)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 10:19:54 AM   
pet1964


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/29/2013
Status: offline 		NO doubt she would be!

I have a hard time expressing what i mean to say sometimes verbally and written, it has to do with the narcotics i am on as well as i am up well past the 24 hr mark.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 10:22:24 AM   
petitespot


Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline 		You seem to have an excuse for everything.

_____________________________


(in reply to pet1964)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 10:32:11 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Perhaps this is where your dom should have started with the homework assignments:

quote:

i will have to double check to see if my insurance covers therapy

(in reply to pet1964)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 10:33:16 AM   
pet1964


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/29/2013
Status: offline 		well not everyone can be perfect and walk on water dear!

(in reply to petitespot)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 10:42:28 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		You seem to be spending alot of this thread defending yourself and your actions. When you do that it keeps you from moving forward.

Keep your focus on the job at hand which is your current relationship and what you want to learn. Quit letting your emotions get the best of you. Don't be flippant or bratty. You have learned your lessons and need to let all the bad go.

Count on your Dom to help you stay on point. Learning comes with a teacher and a student.

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

(in reply to pet1964)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 10:54:22 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I didn't come to The Man as a tabula rasa. I came as an adult who had learned sense before I entered college. I've never picked a bad person as a partner.

I've figured it's my job to learn what I want to know. Not someone else's to view me as an abandoned puppy.

You repeatedly pick poor people as partners and have never learned to take the responsibility for that failing. Therapy can help. But if you can't afford one one one, you can afford a buck in the pot at a 12 step meeting.

Obviously you're getting something from this. The fact that you can tell yourself it's not that you're stupid or in denial, instead you just have this wonderful heart that cares too much. Until you accept that you're getting something from this, and decide it isn't enough, things won't change.

As far as safewords go, they're like a seat belt. Sometimes they will save your life but sometimes they won't and that's why you have an airbag. In addition, if you're in subspace you probably won't be able to speak. Here, although if I can say something he'll listen to it, he knows that depending on me to announce it's enough doesn't absolve him of the responsibility of checking on me. So he checks my body temp and color from tight restraints. He checks my body language to see how I'm doing.

You've picked someone who is putting the total responsibility for your well being on you. So when you have a problem he'll tell you it's your fault for not safewording. Doesn't sound like you've picked a good partner this time either.

TFTB? Doesn't exist. I can't compel him to do anything. All I can do is tell him what I do and don't want. Which doesn't take away his power. If he doesn't like the way I phrased something, he tells me not to use that phrase in the future. Hell, sometimes he even tells me what to say instead and makes me repeat it. But if you really do like him and want to make him happy, you would apologize when you made a mistake and fix it. And he would understand that habits are hard to break and not expect letter perfect after one time.
Doesn't sound like he knows anything about how people learn, and without that, don't expect him to be able to teach.

About the brattiness, if you like resistance play, force play - tell him and then you two can work out when and how it's okay for you to do so. Not when he wants a second cup of coffee or while watching the big game obviously.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 11:11:40 AM   
pet1964


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/29/2013
Status: offline 		Have already called and am waiting for a call back,, glad it was suggested!!

I again want to thank those who were helpful to me in opening my eyes to the things that i needed to see,, sometimes it takes a 2x4 against the back of my head to get me to see what is right in front of me.

pet

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 11:12:51 AM   
pet1964


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/29/2013
Status: offline 		Thank YOU!!!!

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Homework assignment's - 12/2/2013 11:18:02 AM   
pet1964


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/29/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you for your comments, ,much appreciated.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 1:08:58 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot

You seem to have an excuse for everything.


quote:

ORIGINAL: pet1964

well not everyone can be perfect and walk on water dear!


You will just have to trust me when I say that your snark remark to petitespot is WAY off. She is trying to make a point to you and you seem to be too dense to get it.

I'm known here for just saying things like I seem them, not always taking the tactful route. It rubs some the wrong way, others appreciate it. I am who I am, and I make no excuse for it. So I'm going to give you a dose of reality.

You ARE giving an excuse for everything that happened. You have no idea how many people on this site suffer from physical ailments and disabilities and are on pretty heavy meds (clue: a lot). So if you are taking so many narcotics you can't communicate in writing clearly, you can't communicate orally clearly either, and those same narcotics are preventing you from being clear headed to make rational decisions.

Don't bother telling me that they don't affect you that bad, because you already said you did.

You are obviously pretty new to the lifestyle, and the people responding to you have been involved for many, many years.

You went and stayed at the previous dom's house on a getting to know you weekend and then never left? Huge mistake. These people could have locked you in a box and hid you under the floor boards. So you were too naive to even look out for your own safety, because they "seemed" ok. Yet you admit your "people picker" isn't so good.

They stole from you, and you excuse it with you thinking you were doing the "Christian" thing. I'm a Christian and trust me, being one doesn't mean you let people rip you off. I doubt you even looked into whether or not you had any recourse, and depending on how long ago it was, you may still be able to do so. But I'm sure you have an excuse as to why you don't.

You are just finding out you have rights? Two relationships in, and you never bothered to do a bit of research as to what your role as a submissive would be? Again, naive and foolish. I can't imagine your excuse for that.

So while you want to attempt to snark with a "walk on water" comment, think about this:

You have no idea what that poster has gone through to get to where she is now. On the other hand, we are giving you advice based on what you tells us as you sporadically spill your train wreck life on a message board. We have all too often tried to help "newbies" and all too often heard all the excuses as to why we are wrong in what we are saying.

You want advice? You have been given it. You are choosing only the advice you like, which is certainly up to you. However, if you come here looking for advice, you will get a very diverse range of opinions, and they will all be based on what YOU divulge. So for most of what is being told to you, you have no one to blame but yourself, because I can feel in my gut, you have given us the PG version of events and there is a lot you have left out that would allow us to advice you better, but it would give you truths you don't want to hear.

So good luck.

(in reply to petitespot)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 1:34:34 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
You went and stayed at the previous dom's house on a getting to know you weekend and then never left? Huge mistake. These people could have locked you in a box and hid you under the floor boards. So you were too naive to even look out for your own safety, because they "seemed" ok. Yet you admit your "people picker" isn't so good.


She keeps reiterating things like this:
quote:

ORIGINAL: pet1964

it taught me that when someone is in a rehabilitation facility they should take the risk of having their things stolen there rather than leaving it at home with people they thought they could trust .


Which means she didn't learn the important lesson: figuring out why she chose them to be in her life in the first place. Because I'm positive that there were signs of who they are. I doubt they were the epitome of goodness and then one day they just went bad like a jar of mayonnaise in the sun. Until you actually identify why you make bad choices, you will continue to make bad choices.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 1:51:59 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I doubt they were the epitome of goodness and then one day they just went bad like a jar of mayonnaise in the sun.



quote:

Because I'm positive that there were signs of who they are.

Yes, I have learned to listen to my gut and heed red flags.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 2:33:58 PM   
petitespot


Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pet1964

well not everyone can be perfect and walk on water dear!


It's a tough job, but I do it well.
The first step is owning up to your own mistakes instead of blaming others.
You are the common denominator in all of your relationships.
Dear.


_____________________________


(in reply to pet1964)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 4:54:14 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		wow op, you have a lot of anger in you. Please do yourself and your dom and the relationship a favor and get some kind of counseling.

You say you are a Christian. Do you attend church? Speak to your pastor or priest. Do a lot of praying and silencing your brain and think before you speak.

Those last words were the best words I ever learned in high school when I was on the speech league. To this day I still use it and it works.

But please, get some help or if not, I can guarantee you, your relationship will be over in no more than 2 months.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to petitespot)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Homework assignments - 12/2/2013 6:32:51 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Denial is not a river in Egypt.

Something for the op to ponder.

As is, don't make someone else a priority who makes you an option.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 80
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