|
Argossy -> From OP (1/10/2014 9:37:55 PM)
|
Thank you all for your valuable feedback. My arrogance is toned down several notches already. :) And I've learned quite a bit both from you and from my experience to date.
One thing I'm rather surprised none of you called me on (unless I missed it)... a newbie Dom taking on two subs? Please. I now understand how totally unrealistic that is. Maybe I can aspire to multiple subs someday, but for now one is quite a handful. So one lesson learned: one sub politely redirected here to find a better fit, the other engaged with proper intensity.
With that one (my one true sub), our relationship has grown exponentially. She's highly intelligent. We find each other deeply interesting/intriguing on many levels. She hangs on my every word, and though I don't necessarily tell her this, I of course eagerly look forward to interactions with her. So here's the part I think I hadn't mentioned. We haven't met. I've been working with her for months, and have evolved a very nice and ever-deepening D/s relationship with her. It's far beyond sex, obviously, and extends deeply into how she lives her life. And how I live mine, because I do understand that "relationship" is inherently a bidirectional word.
Like me, she's not particularly into S&M. And as for B&D, neither of us is into more than the lightest stuff: some basic tying-up and perhaps some good old fashioned spanking. Does that make us "vanilla?" After all, we were drawn to each other by pure D/s: she to my Dom personality, and me to her willingness to serve.
So the question I was tiptoeing around in my OP was about how we ramp up a physical relationship. It's a thornier question than I'd like to admit. I am most certainly not looking to just lie back and get a blowjob. I enjoy expressing my dominance. Like I said, I have some good ideas for what I'd like and what would work well, but I honestly don't know if I have the creativity to keep it interesting and fresh for both of us. Or let me put it more bluntly: I'm afraid (yes, I'm not afraid to use that word[;)]) that I might stumble and end up being very un-Dom-like simply because I'm floundering for where to go next.
Is that where B&D and S&M naturally come in for the rest of y'all? And yes, I mean specifically 'in the bedroom.' Is it the, "Well, okay, so we did that; let's push further and well, where does that take us?" mentality?
Also, I do in fact find this difficult to discuss with my sub. I can hint around it and tease out ideas from our interactions, but neither of us is interested in ending up with a situation where I'm just doing what she said she wants. In fact, the more we talk about it, the less D/s it feels. That's what motivated me to turn to this community for some outside ideas.
I do appreciate your honest replies. And even your harsh criticisms. I take them all in stride and enjoy the feedback. Thanks, all.
|
|
|
|
