RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (Full Version)

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MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/7/2013 10:59:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I have had to go to the emergency room twice and those doctors were not very cool about it. They were very suspicious. As I can understand.



I'd be suspicious too. Play time shouldn't reach that stage without a safeword being used. Maybe I am being over protective but if one of my pets needs to go to the hospital I have done something wrong.



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 12:19:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I have had to go to the emergency room twice and those doctors were not very cool about it. They were very suspicious. As I can understand.



I'd be suspicious too. Play time shouldn't reach that stage without a safeword being used. Maybe I am being over protective but if one of my pets needs to go to the hospital I have done something wrong.


Sure, but you could have a safe kink session which results in bruises or rope marks, and then the next day be in a car accident. The docs treating you are still going to ask questions.

I don't know about the US, but doctors and nurses in the ER (or A&E as w call it) are pushed to be nosey about these things because a LOT of domestic abuse is discovered that way. It's also the type of environment where they can get you alone without arousing suspicions, so they will want to remove any visitors so they can ask you whether someone is mistreating you. If you're able to calmly smile and say 'kinky sex' you most likely have nothing to be concerned about. They are more likely to want to take things further if you act secretive or emotional. And the type of injury is important too - a bruised butt-cheek is going to be viewed differently than a black eye, and a welt from a slip with the crop is going to be less worrying than a gash from a slip with a knife.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 3:14:07 AM)

Oh I have a great doctor who was very understanding. I did open up a bit at a time, it took a few years since I don't see him that often, but really he's just glad for the honesty.



FriendlyMuppet -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 8:28:47 AM)

I told my doctor a long time ago, and she was completely fine with it. As a matter of fact, she understands so well that she knows that when she tells me to do something, she knows I'm actually going to do it. Once, when it was one of those things I wasn't really interested in doing, she somewhat joked with "I can call your mistress and make sure this isn't a suggestion." Pretty sure she was joking....



lovethyself -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 9:32:05 AM)

While I haven't explicitly told my doctor, I'm a klutz in a physically demanding job. I almost always have bruises somewhere on my body. He's never batted an eye at it (I've had the same doctor for over 15 years). I went to him with some very suspicious bruises once on my arm because I was concerned that I had bruised so easily. They were finger-width parallel lines across my upper arm, as if I had been grabbed roughly. Only problem was there were 6 finger marks. Lol. He took my concerns about the bruising seriously, checking my medication at the time.

Now that I've started playing in ways that will possibly leave marks that aren't my normal bruises, I may have to have that conversation. I can't imagine him having anything beyond "okay" to say to it.



littlewonder -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 9:42:03 AM)

Yes my doctors know.

No I don't educate them.

I never went about telling them per say. I had bruises. They asked me about them and I laughed and said "we like rough sex" and left it at that. They shrugged or shook their head, laughed and that was it. Nothing more said. They also ask me when I got my tattoos either and if it hurt and if the place was clean and sterile. Not all agreed with any of that but none really cared one way or the other.

It's really nothing new to them and they really don't care. They just ask questions because by law they have to.




DesFIP -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 11:24:15 AM)

Athena nailed it. ER nurses and doctors are mandated reporters. They must assume abuse unless convinced otherwise. All you need to do is say kinky sex and it's a lot of fun. If you're obviously okay with it, they will be too.



OsideGirl -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 12:02:37 PM)

I once forgot about my GYN appointment...and ended up going with a set of came bruises across my ass. She asked, "Consensual?" I said "Yup" and that was it. But, I also live in SoCal...alternative lifestyle central.



LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 12:52:20 PM)

yes i told my dr i like rough sex stuff and sometimes i may come in with bruises or something that looks serious like they need to wonder about domest violence but no it's not.



kalikshama -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 1:12:16 PM)

quote:

As long as you are open and matter of fact about it, they won't think you're being abused.


Yup. I think mentioning it first is a good idea as well.

My ass was covered with bruises at the time of one GYN appointment. Before I got undressed, I said, "You're going to see bruises. They were consensual. If you have any concerns, you can speak to my therapist."

(If the therapist hadn't been in the same clinic, I might have said more about my predilection for rough sex.)



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 2:03:04 PM)

I'm a Domme, so I never have marks I need to explain. When I was on the other side of the kneel, my doctor was an ass, so I changed to an ARNP who was way cool about it once I told her.



MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 2:29:35 PM)

Ummmm, yeahhhhh. Red Flags!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I have had to go to the emergency room twice and those doctors were not very cool about it. They were very suspicious. As I can understand.



I'd be suspicious too. Play time shouldn't reach that stage without a safeword being used. Maybe I am being over protective but if one of my pets needs to go to the hospital I have done something wrong.




MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 2:50:53 PM)

Well, I'm a Domme so no reason to let them know, but one of My veteran boys had a VA therapist who "DID NOT APPROVE" of him having a Domme/submissive relationship...until she walked past him in the waiting room one day searching for him. She didn't recognize him all cleaned up, shaven, and wearing nice clothes. He had undergone other improvements over the first two
months of our D/s. She asked him what My secret was. He told her, "SPANKINGS".
I thought that was cute.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowborn61

I am a Veteran and go to the V.A. hospital for treatment and since i started going to the V.A. i have had three different doctors and i have informed each that i live an alternative lifestyle so they know if i come in marked up (never have yet) that it is consensual.
They are really hot about Vets being abused so i want no repercussions if i happen to have an intense play scene right before seeing the Doc.




Kana -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 2:57:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Yes my doctors know.

No I don't educate them.

I never went about telling them per say. I had bruises. They asked me about them and I laughed and said "we like rough sex" and left it at that. They shrugged or shook their head, laughed and that was it. Nothing more said. They also ask me when I got my tattoos either and if it hurt and if the place was clean and sterile. Not all agreed with any of that but none really cared one way or the other.

It's really nothing new to them and they really don't care. They just ask questions because by law they have to.



Yeah-while back we drove to do some take out surgery. The nurse asked,mouse dropped the rough sex line and I swear, the nurse found it more awkward than we did.

Now, and this is an awesome story,me and mouse like to haunt flea-markets, swaps, farmers markets, craft fairs and church sales and such when we don't have anything to do on Saturday mornings.
It gets us out of the house, active and running around the city and we find all sorts of neat shit. It's utterly amazing how many items can be gotten on the cheap and used for torture if seen through the right eyes.
So a while back, we're at this church sale that has all sorts of cool shit,old safes from the 1800's, you could buy a church pew, alter pieces, etc...
Apparently they were selling off pretty much the entire church...including the kitchen (For those who don't know,big churches have industrial size kitchens with all the accompanying accouterments). Among the equipment I found this massive, as in 50 gallon cast iron soup pot...and the equally large stirring paddle-the fucking thing is like an uber thick oar,I mean like three feet long sorta stuff-great for impact play.
I didn't want the pot,but the paddle was two bucks so I snatched it up. The mouse bought some stuff too,household shit, a Johnson and Wales cookbook,some other crap.
Which all works out great till we get to the head of the line and the Pastor,an old irish guy, is doing the check out. He's handing the items to the register girl, naming the price as she adds up the bill-no big deal...until he gets to the paddle.
He looks at it, says,"Where's the pot?"
"Don't want the pot, just the paddle."
"Now, why would anyone want just...ooooooh..."

It was awesome.
I've never seen a city priest utterly speechless.
He looked at me. Then to her.Then to me. Then to her. Making strangling gurgling sounds of awkwardness all the while.

I let him hang for a bit before taking him off the hook, pointed to the cookbook,mentioned that I was a trained chef, all that good stuff.
He didn't believe it for a second but I think he appreciated the social grace :-)

We laugh every time we walk past the church now



sheisreeds -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 3:25:15 PM)

I have mentioned it when it was relevant, though more often than not it hasn't been.

Ironically since all my major health are gyn, I'm pretty clean of marks when I'm at appointments. When your pelvis becomes an unyielding sadist our kind of play tends to be a no go.

Oddly my stretched inner labia has never received any remarks, likely since it has been that way and healed for over a decade. Also, no doctor has ever brought up all my scars. I think once some nosey one did, but I don't really remember since obviously they sucked at figuring out what was really going on with my body.

We have the same primary care doctor, and he's seen us together so I'm guessing he has an idea why we at times have so many scratches and bruises. He's a cool dude and I doubt he would even care if we said anything.

And Kana, you seriously need to go to the dirt mall, just outside the city limits, in the armpit of Bmore strange.



Kana -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 4:23:13 PM)

quote:

And Kana, you seriously need to go to the dirt mall, just outside the city limits, in the armpit of Bmore strange.

Is this the one down by Middle River? Or something else?



sheisreeds -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 4:44:22 PM)

Nah, Dundalk behind Walmart. They even have nazis, thankfully not many of them these days. Knives, "antiques", stuff from the past that just shouldn't exist anymore. I'm convinced there is a bottle of pepsi clear in there somewhere. And the deeper ya go the more insane it gets. It's also one of the few places in the world where price tags either don't exist or don't mean much.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 6:50:27 PM)

Kana, that's a good one.

The smile on my face has aboslutely nothing to do with your fantastic story. Neither does the fact that I have to clean out my keyboard and monitor.

Yup, no relation at all.



tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/8/2013 8:46:36 PM)

A few years back I was seeing a psychologist twice weekly. We talked about a lot of stuff and I told him I was a submissive. Man was Orthodox Jewish, we'll into his mid to late 70s and fascinated by all these new "things" I could teach him. So I did. We'd make some time during my appointment to do a question period on his part. Hey, I figured I was doing a good thing, teaching him something he really didn't know about.

My RN/counselor now knows. Been edumacating her as well, she's pretty cool about it. My psychiatrist has no clue, too religious and proper. She just wouldn't get it.

My GP doesn't know as yet. But he's young, if I had to bring it up I would. I have no shame, someone asks, I yak about it. [8D]



NuevaVida -> RE: Does your doctor know what you do BDSM wise? (12/10/2013 6:24:53 PM)

I've told my doc we like to play rough. He was fine with that; it hasn't needed to go any further.

Years ago I had to have a tumor (benign) removed from a breast. I told my Gyn we liked to play rough with the girls, and would anything we're doing damage them? He said to wait for the healing to finish and go enjoy.

Meanwhile, when the surgeon did his initial exam, I had bruises on my breast. He never said a word.

It's not much of an issue here. Then again, he's pretty good about making sure I'm not scuffed up right before a doc appointment.

My esthitician, on the other hand, has seen a purple, black & blue welted ass. Usually she laughs with a, "Good LORD, woman!" but one time she did ask, "So this is all cool with you? He's not abusing you?" out of concern. I told her no it's all just fine and she was cool with it. Usually I warn her before she turns me over, though. But again, for the most part, the Man tries to keep the scuffing to a minimum before appointments.

Really, "We like rough sex and bondage, and stuff like that" has been sufficient for me with doctors.



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