The year 2013 has been…

The year 2013 has been… (Full Version)

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CassielsSong -> The year 2013 has been… (12/14/2013 11:45:48 PM)
…one I would define as the year of struggle - for me. The year started (yes, New Year's Day) when the man I was falling in love with (a man I met here) told me he was going back to his ex…the woman he described as crazy…the woman who caused him so much emotional pain…the woman who demanded too much of him. I was decimated. The emotional pain I experienced manifested in various ways. First I lost a lot of weight. Not such a bad thing, but it was not a good way to do it. I also had insomnia to the point where I don't think I slept more than 4 hours a night for the first few months. I still have insomnia, though not as bad. Nothing has worked. I've tried various prescription drugs, over the counter medications, herbal remedies, acupuncture, meditation and more. Then I started losing my hair. It is something that has pretty much destroyed my self-esteem. The weirdest repercussion was losing my craving for chocolate. And I've been a lifelong chocoholic. It hasn't come back. I've also lost my inner voice. This sense I've always had with me that I didn't fully acknowledge until I could no longer hear it. It wasn't all bad. I ended up reaching out to a friend I hadn't spoken with in years. We connected as if we hadn't ever been apart. Aside from those few years, we have known each other our entire adult lives. Aside from the physical effects of having this man leave my life, I also had other health issues, including a messed up knee from an easy hike , a sprained wrist, as well as a couple of other things I'd rather not go into. Then I nearly lost my job because of visa restrictions. On the upside, I didn't lose my job. But it has now changed. Then there has been my family. We nearly lost the family dog, but thankfully she came through the surgery well and is even more energetic than before. Before that though, my mom had a recurrence of breast cancer. And recently my dad had a stroke. A bad one. I will be moving back home, once I can get a job, to help take care of both my parents. I never intended on ever living there again. It is a place I left for a reason. But I cannot turn my back on my parents. I think I have cried more this year than I have all the other years of my life combined. My life has changed in ways I would never have imagined and I don't think I can say much, if any of it, has been good. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. For me that is not true. I am definitely a weaker person than I was at this point last year. I don't know how to find my way back to the person I used to be, the person who was striving to improve her life and who was learning that happiness is something you create, not find. I read things I've written last year and I don't even recognize it as coming from me. It sounds like someone who is far, far more insightful than I am. I can't imagine being that person now. I have taken so many steps backwards, that trying to get to the place I used to be at last year seems impossible now. The profile I am using to post this is a new one. I would rather remain anonymous. Given that this year is nearly over, how would you describe how this year has been for you? Has it been good? Bad? Status quo?

littlewonder -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 12:00:50 AM)
It has been...hhhmm....frustrating...neither good nor bad though...just having to get used to new things in my life such as my health, a new job, stuff happening with Master and my daughter, etc...

sexyred1 -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 12:31:39 AM)
OP we could start a club. I won't bore anyone with the details, but 2013 so far has given me the worst year of my life. I will not fall apart though, crying doesn't help shit. Tired of tears, I would rather be angry, which I am. So, although it sucks beyond belief, I just am taking one day at a time......until I can't.

Missokyst -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 9:40:52 AM)
2013 has been kind of ok for me. I had a week long hospital stay early on in the year leading to a prescription which allows me to be almost normal, digestion-wise. As a result I lost 55 lbs that had been creeping up on me due to my prior stagnation. I had watched myself putting on weight even though I ate less than 1000 calories per day. Stopping that process made me hopeful. I still feel sadness regarding my former dominant seeing me only as sex. But, getting to that point of recognition has helped me step back from him. This is HUGE. Holidays feel less lonely this year. Even this xmas season has been tolerable. I don't feel like hiding away. I even went to a munch for the first time since I stopped leading them. My birthday is expected to go as usual, meaning no one remembers, but this year I am OK with that. Today I will go pick up a tree and to my shock I have made enough money in the last few months to pay my property taxes. Because I am able to work more I have more than enough money for gifts and a tree. Last year at this time I spent so much time taking care of my 90 yr old mother I had less time to work and make money. This year she has been less stubborn about doing things she can no longer do easily so I can leave her to her own devices. All in all, 2013 has been a year of change for me. I am hopeful 2014 is going to put me back on the upswing.

MariaB -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 10:52:07 AM)
Cassie, You have been through a huge amount of grieving. I'm really sorry you have had to go through that. Your inner voice will come back though and your hair will eventually grow back thick and lush. I know how it is to lose your hair. Its our crowning glory, the thing that makes us feel feminine. Lets hope the NY brings you hopes of a bright future and as Rodriguez would say, 'the best kiss you ever had, is the one you've not yet tasted!' Our year has been a productive one. We built 3 new businesses and so we have been working hard but playing less. We got a puppy (pics on profile) and both of us are absolutely smitten with our new fury baby!!. We thought we had escaped this year without any major mishaps or illnesses but then we got a phone call from the UK the other day to say, the shipping container than holds many of our possessions and includes all our BDSM gear and all my art work, had floated down the river during the big storms and floods. It has been recovered and would it be okay if the dock yard broke it open to let out any remaining water?. We have said no because of what's inside but we do have a local scene friend who we are sending keys to. I grieved a little about the possessions we have probably lost but at the end of the day, they are only possessions.

TNDommeK -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 5:38:38 PM)
I must say, this year has been pretty great for us. But, I'm sending prayers and positive thoughts for those who had a not so nice year.

Blonderfluff -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 6:28:20 PM)
I've had a...transitional year. Last child left for college in Aug. I used the opportunity to get out of DC, and back to my home state. New home. Empty nest. So I vasilate between extreme pride at my kids accomplishments, and a bit of melancholy and loneliness. I'm now in a position to really put in the time, effort and patience that I'll need to find a life partner. The Man that will be my last kiss. According to MistressDarkArt...;it's looking good for Jan 3-4.

DarkSteven -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 6:58:41 PM)
The results won't be in till 2014. My company was bought out and the Colorado location will be shut down end of April, and my job will be eliminated then. I have to say that I'm getting treated pretty well as a lame duck, and have a fair shot at landing something before the ax falls. It's getting harder to look at the age of 57. My sub's son got a decent, well paying job as an exterminator, but got laid off when work got slow. He's been told he'll be rehired there in January. Tasha and I may have found our unicorn. We were getting together three or four times a week. Unfortunately, with the holiday madness from Thanksgiving to the New Year, we're seeing each other once a month. We'll see....

TheHeretic -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 10:08:13 PM)
2013 was a high stress year. There is absolutely no reason to expect 2014 will be any less so, but we are planning to do a lot more camping.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 10:54:55 PM)
I liked 2013 despite some challenges. I managed to not meet my deductible medical-wise, and that's saying a lot considering my shoulder/arm have been in a sling for 4 months. I'm happy that I had the knowledge to help heal myself without depending on Western medicine. No surgeries, nothing life- or happiness-threatening. It was a banner year for the band until 3/4 of us became incapacitated the last few months. It was also a fun year for acquiring wonderful musical instruments. I got to know Huck on a much deeper level, and feel I have made a friend for life. I've really enjoyed the time we spend together and appreciate his efforts to accommodate my quirks, limitations and our long-distance challenges. A prince among men. I lost two very dear loved ones but I am moving through my grieving process. All in all, 2013 was very satisfying. My heart goes out to those having difficulties. I hope your paths wind smoothly and you get where you wish to go in 2013.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (12/15/2013 10:56:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff According to MistressDarkArt...;it's looking good for Jan 3-4. I hope I'm right, Blonder. Please keep me posted!

CassielsSong -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 9:58:29 AM)
...bump... Happy New Year to everyone. Irrespective of how your year went in 2013, I do hope all of you have a better 2014.

petitespot -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 10:22:14 AM)
2013 was a year of change. I moved. I lived the entire year for the first time in my life completely alone and independent. 2014 will hopefully be better. It already looks to be....prospects of a new man that I've been slowly connecting with, prospects of all kinds of new jobs down here and...the beach.

Hillwilliam -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 10:39:48 AM)
2013 was a kidneystone of a year. This too must pass.

FelineRanger -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 10:43:26 AM)
CassielsSong If what you call insomnia is having that significant a physical effect, please give serious consideration to having a sleep study done. I spent years thinking I was merely an insomniac myself before having my own sleep study and finding out that I have a almost off-the-charts serious sleep apnea. Just a suggestion. Whatever happens, I hope things improve for you.

NuevaVida -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 2:41:42 PM)
2013 started with difficulty. My sister's husband (and the father of my two young nephews) had just died from multiple myeloma, which was pretty horrible. I struggled to recover from my own issues from his illness and death - cleaning some very gruesome messes, holding my sister's hand and sitting with her when life support was discontinued, and holding one of the boys in my lap while we told him his Daddy was gone. I tried to take my sister's grief from her until i realized I couldn't. Immediately following this, I was on a jury for a case of parental neglect, which also ripped my heart out. My mother's health started declining, which is requiring my attention. My brother's wife took the kids and the dog and left, and he lost his job and home, and gave up a 30 year sobriety, which concerns me greatly. Many of my friends have suffered, and I hurt for them. The Mister's daughter flew off the deep end and has made some horrible and immature decisions for herself, which has taken its toll on her mother, father, mother's new husband, and me. So in many ways, the year has brought struggles. It has also brought some very cool things. I've made some new and awesome friendships, my career has taken a new and exciting turn, and the Mister bought a house for us. I hired a personal trainer and have become hooked on working out. I came face to face with some personal fears, and reconciled internal conflicts. I continued to grow. I learned new areas of gratitude. I found a different kind of internal peace.

LittleGirlHeart -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 2:48:21 PM)
Mostly full of badness and some seriously fucked up emotional and financial shit. The good news is, any improvement even minor over last year, in 20014 will be vastly way better than last year because of how bad last year fucking sucked. quote: ORIGINAL: CassielsSong …one I would define as the year of struggle - for me. The year started (yes, New Year's Day) when the man I was falling in love with (a man I met here) told me he was going back to his ex…the woman he described as crazy…the woman who caused him so much emotional pain…the woman who demanded too much of him. I was decimated. The emotional pain I experienced manifested in various ways. First I lost a lot of weight. Not such a bad thing, but it was not a good way to do it. I also had insomnia to the point where I don't think I slept more than 4 hours a night for the first few months. I still have insomnia, though not as bad. Nothing has worked. I've tried various prescription drugs, over the counter medications, herbal remedies, acupuncture, meditation and more. Then I started losing my hair. It is something that has pretty much destroyed my self-esteem. The weirdest repercussion was losing my craving for chocolate. And I've been a lifelong chocoholic. It hasn't come back. I've also lost my inner voice. This sense I've always had with me that I didn't fully acknowledge until I could no longer hear it. It wasn't all bad. I ended up reaching out to a friend I hadn't spoken with in years. We connected as if we hadn't ever been apart. Aside from those few years, we have known each other our entire adult lives. Aside from the physical effects of having this man leave my life, I also had other health issues, including a messed up knee from an easy hike , a sprained wrist, as well as a couple of other things I'd rather not go into. Then I nearly lost my job because of visa restrictions. On the upside, I didn't lose my job. But it has now changed. Then there has been my family. We nearly lost the family dog, but thankfully she came through the surgery well and is even more energetic than before. Before that though, my mom had a recurrence of breast cancer. And recently my dad had a stroke. A bad one. I will be moving back home, once I can get a job, to help take care of both my parents. I never intended on ever living there again. It is a place I left for a reason. But I cannot turn my back on my parents. I think I have cried more this year than I have all the other years of my life combined. My life has changed in ways I would never have imagined and I don't think I can say much, if any of it, has been good. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. For me that is not true. I am definitely a weaker person than I was at this point last year. I don't know how to find my way back to the person I used to be, the person who was striving to improve her life and who was learning that happiness is something you create, not find. I read things I've written last year and I don't even recognize it as coming from me. It sounds like someone who is far, far more insightful than I am. I can't imagine being that person now. I have taken so many steps backwards, that trying to get to the place I used to be at last year seems impossible now. The profile I am using to post this is a new one. I would rather remain anonymous. Given that this year is nearly over, how would you describe how this year has been for you? Has it been good? Bad? Status quo?

OsideGirl -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 2:51:58 PM)
2013 was not a good year for us. I'm thinking 2014 sounds much friendlier....

popeye1250 -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 3:12:46 PM)
Not the worst but certainly not the best. And with this out of control inept govt. "Beware the Ides of March." And the Ides of February and of April financially.

MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: The year 2013 has been… (1/1/2014 3:34:52 PM)
How about something positive? I was released from my job which gives me a free reign to find another job. My father and older brother both went into the hospital for alcoholism and they have both agreed to stop drinking. My little brother got his 6 month chip for being sober and he's started a new company providing some seriously cool tech for people who use the Mossberg 500.

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