RE: Only Positive?!

RE: Only Positive?! (Full Version)

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LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/15/2013 3:15:58 PM)
They do. you just cant name names and identifying stuff, and they don't feel the need to start a board specifically for it. People talk about bad experiences here all the time, it's just usually in more of a odd things you've had happen dating, or odd things you've had happen while meeting people from cm deal. jist go to of topics start a new thread and , if you so desire, talk about it. quote: ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace I appreciate reading these experiences, I really do. And I'm also glad that you all had some positive experience meeting someone from CM. I've never met someone here and off-hand I don't really plan to. But don't you think it's just a little crazy that you're only allowed to post if you had a good experience? That's some kind of crazy product review feature, right? "Rate our product 1-10 and we'll publish your review on our website... as long as it's a 10" That's not very helpful. I get that it would be awkward if people were attacking others by name on here. That's no fun. But even allowing members to talk about bad experiences in the abstract would be a whole lot more responsible than just pretending that no one has bad experiences in this lifestyle or particularly meeting someone online. That makes me think that there might be ten terrible stories for every good one.

Kana -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/15/2013 3:39:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl quote: ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace Again, I didn't come here to talk about a particular case. Just to suggest an exceedingly humble addition to the site that might help people make better decisions. And that resulted in a flood of attacks and defensiveness that seems to have kind've exploded here. I'm not wanting to attack this site or this community. I'm just humbly suggesting a minor and common sense change to the forum threads. I stopped here. Lets say MistressMoneyBags20009 (I hope thats not an actual account here) accuses boytoycrazydreamdate of rape after a meet. I happen to believe rape is a horrible act. I also happen to believe that the false allegation of rape is equally as horrible. boytoycrazydreamdate comes along as claims he never even touched that woman. Who do we believe? None of this can be proven. Even if he is arrested, that doesnt equate to guilty. Whose responsibility is it to discover the truth? To allow what you are wanting to allow opens many up to situations that can damage reputations, ruin their businesses, even destroy their families. All because some woman may have been upset with some man who didnt do what she wanted him to do. I am in no way saying this is what happened to you or your friend. I AM saying this is the kettle of worms that will be opened up. OK Taz, you are way freaking over the line here. This is the Internet. How dare you be making sensible posts. Whatcha trying to do-give us all a bad name?

Blonderfluff -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/15/2013 3:41:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FelineRanger quote: ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace Again - you seem to be wrapped in in some kind of bizarre obsession with naming names and black lists. That's not what I've suggested at any point and I think you all know that. I'm pursuing plenty of avenues to help my friend and help others as well. No, that doesn't absolve this community of the need to think about issues like this and allow a space to talk about them instead of burying and attacking people who bring up uncomfortable topics. I'm not interested in "presenting evidence" to attack any particular person and I'm under no illusions that this is a "court of law" (nor do I understand your impression that I think that). But I do think this is an online forum with a series of threaded conversations organized in such a way as to be helpful to the community and I'm suggesting a reorganization that would be significantly more helpful in helping people to make good decisions. There should be a place designated for people to talk about "negative experiences" right along-side the positive ones. I've tried to respond rationally to your statements several times, but I can't. I really wish I could put a finger on why I think you're a cop trolling CM for a suspect but I can't. Unfortunately, I've also learned that I should really pay attention to such instincts. OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ... Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"

tazzygirl -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/15/2013 3:44:52 PM)
quote: OK Taz, you are way freaking over the line here. This is the Internet. How dare you be making sensible posts. Whatcha trying to do-give us all a bad name? Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!! [8D]

LadyPact -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/15/2013 4:37:32 PM)
OK. I read the whole thread. Most of the stuff that I would have said has already been written. OP, I'm going to try to give you the other side of this. It's the part about how false accusations can really fuck up people's lives. Even in situations where somebody wouldn't have to necessarily 'name a name' or other crap that has crossed this very forum and a few others. I can't even say everything that happened because I'd be in the same position because everybody would know who I was talking about and even though I can literally PROVE that false accusations were made, outing was attempted, and stuff that I can barely keep track of anymore because there's just been so damn much of it, I seriously can't sit here and say I want that kind of nonsense to happen to anybody else. I'm sorry for what happened to your friend, but let Me assure you that there really are some vicious fucks on the planet who will try to twist the most innocent of things just because there was a break up, or they don't know how to handle it when their D or s decides they are happier without a certain person in their life, or they twist stuff in their own head because they don't like a particular outcome. Yes, I get how frustrating it can be when somebody has something terrible happen to them and they don't file a police report and all of their evidence is gone. From where I'm sitting, it comes across like a part of that frustration that is probably stemming from your friend is being lashed out against the forum. That's misplaced. None of the people here or the forum layout can make up for her lack of following through with charges the way I have a feeling you would have done. Believe Me. That kind of thing can get under My skin, too. The problem is, this site or the readers here aren't the basis for that frustration. If you want to make a suggestion for the site, the forums actually aren't the proper channels for that. You need to write Support so that the powers that be can make a decision for your recommendation. Nobody on this thread (to this point, at least) has any more authority to change the site than you do. Just like you couldn't walk into My house and decide that My place needs an additional room off of the kitchen so you start making arrangements with contractors, you have to let the owners of the site decide what belongs as a forum category and what doesn't.

FelineRanger -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/15/2013 4:46:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff quote: ORIGINAL: FelineRanger I've tried to respond rationally to your statements several times, but I can't. I really wish I could put a finger on why I think you're a cop trolling CM for a suspect but I can't. Unfortunately, I've also learned that I should really pay attention to such instincts. OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ... Things that make you go "hmmmmmm" Ain't it though? Any bets on how long before I get a knock on my door from the NJSP?

AmandaPeace -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 11:53:02 AM)
[/quote] OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ... Things that make you go "hmmmmmm" [/quote] That's because people spammed me with report messages to the moderators, who promptly suppressed my profile. I also got a lot of personal attack messages and even a death threat. But I'm sure that won't "make you go "hmmmmmm" So good work on that guys. Creating a new forum designated for negative feedback is apparently tantamount to an existential threat to everything you hold dear. I don't believe that, but it sure is how you're responding. And this is what people face here when they share negative experiences, right? At best, you call them whiners and drama queens, and then you attack, attack, attack until they shut up or leave. For those of you who made reasonable thoughtful responses, though, I thank you. Truly.

mnottertail -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 11:55:32 AM)
You aint nobody, until you get a death threat on the internet.

myotherself -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 12:12:04 PM)
When new people post on the forums, many people will look at their profiles. If your profile contains something that is blatantly against the Terms of Service, such as making negative comments against another named user, or trying to blacklist someone, then it's likely that you will be reported until you eventually abide by the rules you agreed to when you joined the site. That, more than likely, is what happened. Don't like it? Then follow the rules.

stef -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 12:18:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself That, more than likely, is what happened. Don't like it? Then follow the rules. Rules do not apply to Captain Saveaho!

sexyred1 -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 12:22:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace I strongly suspect that meeting someone through a website with an immediate goal of putting one of them in bondage might lead to some crappy, even life-threatening situations. So it's irresponsible on the border of criminal negligence to actively hide, delete, and deny these experiences, even attacking people for questioning forum "rules" So yeah - I'd like to know what other people's experiences have genuinely been and I don't want to have that feedback heavily censored, particularly with an eye to omitting only the negative or even neutral experiences. And yes - I think questioning the premise of a thread subject absolutely belongs under that subject and not elsewhere. If you believe your first line, why are you on the site? People are here for varying reasons, only one of which may be a shared interest in bondage. But others have met play partners and even relationships and marriages The only things censored are when people disobey the forum guidelines. As others have told you, there are lots of places to post negative experiences, so why dump on the positive ones?

AmandaPeace -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 12:38:24 PM)
That's funny. The last person to take issue with that "first" line said that anyone who did anything like that would be stupid. And now questioned why I'm on the site if I don't want to do that. But you're pretty selective about what's against the rules, right? No one is concerned that I'm attacked, defamed, insulted, or even that my life has been threatened. I see that all over the TOS, but not a word about "black listing" http://www.collarchat.com/tos.asp But because I've (very humbly) questioned the system, anything that happens to me is just what I deserve? I've been accused of blacklisting for what I've said on this forum thread repeatedly. But if you read what I wrote, it's just not there. That doesn't strike you as a double standard? At all?

Rawni -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 12:44:14 PM)
Threatened? Over a god damned thread? Honey, I have been here for years and have not seen one person threatened or mentioning being threatened over something like this. Politics... well, there were a few crazies I saw do that, but no fucking way where you threatened and your profile suppressed over this thread. You are pretty extreme. The thing is, if your profile was suppressed... how is it that you are posting? You must have done something that got it unsuppressed and you know exactly why it was suppressed in the first place. You want to toss bull shit out there... you go right ahead, but many of us have been here a long time and you aren't pulling this off without a hitch. Do you write fairy tales too?

sexyred1 -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 12:50:06 PM)
First off, you are getting worked up over nothing. You received a ton of good suggestions and explanations, but you don't want to hear it. You wanted to hear validation on your suggestion. As far as you getting attacked, defamed or death threats, no one knows you, it is the internet and you need to have a thick skin to engage here or anywhere. I don't think you asked for blacklisting, but as stated there are tons of sections available for negative experiences. Fetlife has masses of threads on negative experiences, even rapes, which allegedly happened. I think your concern is justified, you just went about it wrong. You can report the threats to support here.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 1:03:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace That's because people spammed me with report messages to the moderators, who promptly suppressed my profile. I also got a lot of personal attack messages and even a death threat. But I'm sure that won't "make you go "hmmmmmm" So good work on that guys. You're right. It makes us go "Tap, tap, tap."

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 1:16:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ... Things that make you go "hmmmmmm" That's because people spammed me with report messages to the moderators, who promptly suppressed my profile. I also got a lot of personal attack messages and even a death threat. But I'm sure that won't "make you go "hmmmmmm" So good work on that guys. Creating a new forum designated for negative feedback is apparently tantamount to an existential threat to everything you hold dear. I don't believe that, but it sure is how you're responding. And this is what people face here when they share negative experiences, right? At best, you call them whiners and drama queens, and then you attack, attack, attack until they shut up or leave. For those of you who made reasonable thoughtful responses, though, I thank you. Truly. Are you, by any chance, a lesbian from Canada?

AmandaPeace -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 1:22:37 PM)
quote: Rules do not apply to Captain Saveaho! She's not a ho and you don't know anything about her except that she was raped. Seriously. What's with you people and defending rapists?

Phoenixpower -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 1:23:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan quote: ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace And it's really disturbing that you're so unfazed by the idea of your community members raping other community members. I would think that would raise some kind of note of concern, but it appears not. It seems you're 100% committed to attacking victims and that's... well that's really sad. Oh, FFS... [image]http://thoseposters.com/emailPosters/poster3299.jpg[/image] dito Sylvere... Probably on this incident it was the facebook communitys fault as well and on that that one the plentyoffish community [8\|] Seems to me the OP is new to life and thinks something like rape is a new invention on this planet [8\|]

AmandaPeace -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 1:24:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail You aint nobody, until you get a death threat on the internet. A funny statement, but how is it that what I've said is so deserving of attacks and somehow death threats don't rise to that level?

Phoenixpower -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/16/2013 1:26:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rawni Do you write fairy tales too? If she does, its certainly not getting very far in the bestseller-list....not with that style [8\|]

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