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Rawni -> RE: Only Positive?! (12/15/2013 12:58:29 PM)
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If there were a section for negative experiences, with some tweaking of a few things and going by the no name rule, it would be one of the heaviest used sections and many regulars would love the fact that all that negativity was in one place and not scattered all over the forums. I don't think many would complain about that.
For me, this is where things start to unravel and I have worked in rape crisis and have been raped, so I do get a few of the issues involved. Not every person that cries rape is actually raped or even assaulted. I know how some will wish to sweep it under a carpet and not tell the people that can actually do something about it, but those that do this are more a threat to themselves and others because they do not tell and let a guy run rampant who is a rapist. Now, can we be accused of blaming the victim if we expect them to take legal recourse? Would the site or any other be irresponsible in requiring that the victim take legal recourse before naming names? If you will note, there are post that talk about real news in a number of areas, where real names are listed and even a couple throughout the years, where a member of CM made it to the news.
A couple of years ago, I read some journals of two women. I was alarmed at what I was reading there and watched the situation rather closely. In these journals they were accusing a man, by his user nick of beating a woman so badly that she was hospitalized. He stole her money and took off. Now, these women were outraged, to the point of making threats. The member was a regular poster on the forums. Every time I saw this guy I gritted my teeth because the story given was so real and yet I kept waiting for more to evolve so that I could get to the truth. Guess what happened? Nothing. No legal case, no criminal case... a flat bottom line. Still, I wondered about the guy. So, wait a few years and this guy is meeting other women... not just a couple. Guess what? Nothing... no other reports and the guy is still around, apparently enjoying himself with no complaints from anyone that I have seen and believe me, I have looked.
Even with red flags and people warning people of others, have you ever met those that will not listen, pay attention or do what is smart? Whether it is youth, neediness, emotional or mental illness or just plain stupidity thinking nothing will ever happen to them and they are immune, people do stupid shit. That doesn't mean that if they do stupid, that they cannot then be a victim! The problem is that if one is a victim, they often have some things to learn AND they really need to do the right thing. This will help in their recovery and protect others as well.
We cannot expect that a site creating a section for complaints... to validate every complaint, because eventually they would have to with some of them, and blaming those that really can do nothing about a predator, when the local authorities haven't even been called is a focus gone south.
Narrowing in on a site, that may or may not even be involved as a meeting place in this situation and calling them irresponsible because they don't have a specific section for negative experiences, is rather telling when the real authorities aren't even involved. A victim does need a friend and a friendly ear, but most of them need a bit more than that and as a friend, you should encourage those things. Professional help, legal assistance to get that guy off the street and protect others. Shirking the responsibility onto an online community when one hasn't seen to it that people are actually protected from a real threat you know about is very sad and I think the saddest part of this thread.
The knee jerk response when someone we care about is hurt is understandable... but after that point, it is time to get down to some basics. Report, get help and heal.
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