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RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 9:10:38 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		OK, so with the theme of the OP, Santa has to make 81,018 deliveries per second.
Formula 86,400 seconds in 24 hours by 7 billion people to deliver to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic
How about for Christmas to fall on a Friday, every year? This middle of the week crap is a pain in the ass. I want the following couple of days off to play with my new toys, and then another day off for the wife, so she can recover from me playing with my new toys .


If we had Xmas every week as TheHeretic suggests, that would ease things up quite a bit.
Santa would only have to make 1,558 deliveries per second (but he would have to do it 52 times a year.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne
I want a Tardis...


But if Santa had a TARDIS instead of ShaharThorne, he could stretch out the day into a year.
Santa would only have to make 221 deliveries per second

So all this leads me to wonder, how the hell did he get fat if he has to work that fast?


< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 12/17/2013 9:11:33 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: An expirementuewt - 12/17/2013 10:48:29 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		I like that last, K. "World peace and a Glock 23". Made me laugh. For me, the only thing I'd really want (that doesn't exist in the realm of possibility) is to go back to September 1981, with all the knowledge I've acquired since that time. Don't want a time machine, just to walk through one, I'll figure out the rest on my own. I've narrowed it down, and the path I took started around that time, give or take a couple.

I won't give any reasons, because they'd be meaningless to you, but my life would be far different now with only a few tweaks here and there.

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The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 10:59:22 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Oh Santa won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, my friends all drive Porches and I must...make A-mends.

(oh and tell you what...I'll come get it) Oh as for a Glock 23, no. I want an ooooozi, even sounds kinky doesn't it ?

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 12/17/2013 11:00:42 AM >

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 11:58:55 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		Alright, I agree with the wish that all children are loved and cherished.

And I admit that my desire for a futuristic army to go rampaging around the galaxy acting like a primitive barbarian human pissing off who knows how many alien races might be a little excessive, but isnt that better than using all that futuristic military hardware here on earth?

I mean if I did that, heretic and a few others might get mad at me.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 12:15:45 PM   
eulero83


Posts: 1470
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

OK, so with the theme of the OP, Santa has to make 81,018 deliveries per second.
Formula 86,400 seconds in 24 hours by 7 billion people to deliver to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic
How about for Christmas to fall on a Friday, every year? This middle of the week crap is a pain in the ass. I want the following couple of days off to play with my new toys, and then another day off for the wife, so she can recover from me playing with my new toys .


If we had Xmas every week as TheHeretic suggests, that would ease things up quite a bit.
Santa would only have to make 1,558 deliveries per second (but he would have to do it 52 times a year.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne
I want a Tardis...


But if Santa had a TARDIS instead of ShaharThorne, he could stretch out the day into a year.
Santa would only have to make 221 deliveries per second

So all this leads me to wonder, how the hell did he get fat if he has to work that fast?



I don't know how many christian families with children under the age of 10 there are in the world but I think 7 bilion is overstimated.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 1:11:38 PM   
eulero83


Posts: 1470
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline 		FR

American children in the years you've been robbed of lot of stuff and food, present during winter are not limited to toys the christmas morning but in order to fulfill all the christian tradictions you have the right of:

1 eating a piece of chocolate every day from the 1st of december to the 25th through the adventcalendar
2 invoke one saint between Saint Nicholas or Saint Lucy to have your toys and candies delivered at your home you have to follow the intructions at the end of the post.
3 don't let your parents fool you even if saint nicholas arrived the 6th the morning of christmas baby jesus will grant you to find a gift under the tree.
4 the 6th of january the Magi or the Befana will fill a sock you hanged over the fireplace with candies if you've been good or coal if you've been bad.


To invoke Saint Nicholas: the evening of december 5th you have to walk around the town jingling bells at some point the saint with his helpers called krampus will appear giving a first amount of candies and peanuts, you'll recive the present the morning of december 6th, beware that krampus tend to beat the crap out of childrens with birches.
To invoke Saint Lucy: before winter you have to collect all the tin cans you can find (if in december you are short of cans force your father to drink as much beer as his liver allows him) tie them with metal wire so that dragging them will make very much noise, remember Saint Lucy is blind because romans took of her eyes with a hot iron stick so if you don't make lot of noise she won't be able to find you! The evening of december 12th go around your town with the cans and call the Saint. She comes with a donkey and she expects to find flour for her and salt for the donkey, in the morning of december 13th you'll find your toys and candies in place of your offerings.

(in reply to eulero83)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 2:46:02 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Except the Protestant faiths don't worship Saints and the really conservative branches would consider it blasphemy to do what you're suggesting.

The majority of Americans are Protestant. http://religions.pewforum.org/reports

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 3:24:59 PM   
eulero83


Posts: 1470
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Except the Protestant faiths don't worship Saints and the really conservative branches would consider it blasphemy to do what you're suggesting.

The majority of Americans are Protestant. http://religions.pewforum.org/reports


Well actually children are not allowed to read this forum... so in the end of the story I'm not misleading anyone, it was just a joking way to share the tradiction for holidays' time from where I live.
By the way the blaphemy my people is perpetrating for centuries is just about invoking help from saints or is there something else in what I wrote?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 3:53:42 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
Oh sorry, nevermind. I thought somebody had died.

K.

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 6:02:56 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I have my Mega-Million tickets, Santa.  All I want for Christmas is the numbers on my tickets to be pulled. Thanks!
(Of course, the numbers pulled should all be on one line...... 'Cause if the numbers pulled are on my ticket, but not on one line.... well, then, that's not much of a present, now, is it?)

Actually, all I really want for Christmas is a decent paying, decent job.


Well, since they say this:

"Odds of getting all six numbers correct for the second-largest Mega Millions jackpot are about 1 in 259 million, according to the lottery company. You have more than 1,000 times better chance of an asteroid or comet killing you -- and that's using the long odds, according to Tulane University."

I think I will save my money..but I do believe in Santa Claus or the spirit of Santa Claus in a strange off-the-cuff way...go figure!


< Message edited by playfulotter -- 12/17/2013 6:03:21 PM >

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(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 6:22:50 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I have my Mega-Million tickets, Santa.  All I want for Christmas is the numbers on my tickets to be pulled. Thanks!
(Of course, the numbers pulled should all be on one line...... 'Cause if the numbers pulled are on my ticket, but not on one line.... well, then, that's not much of a present, now, is it?)

Actually, all I really want for Christmas is a decent paying, decent job.


Well, since they say this:

"Odds of getting all six numbers correct for the second-largest Mega Millions jackpot are about 1 in 259 million, according to the lottery company. You have more than 1,000 times better chance of an asteroid or comet killing you -- and that's using the long odds, according to Tulane University."

I think I will save my money..but I do believe in Santa Claus or the spirit of Santa Claus in a strange off-the-cuff way...go figure!



You know Otter, going out of your way to burst someone's bubble leads me to say this:

Playfulotter, may you live in interesting times, find yourself neighbors with Obama and Andy Dick, may the only tv shows you receive be reality tv from Saudi Arabia, and the only food you have available be liver and onions.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to playfulotter)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: An expirement - 12/17/2013 6:37:02 PM   
Paladin9


Posts: 116
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		Anyone old enough to post on here should know there is no Santa Claus. But it is nice to think there is someone that will share the happiness of Christmas with you and wish you well.

As for the lottery, you have a better chance of getting hit by lightening TWICE than winning the lottery. As for the asteroid or comet odds, I didn't know that , thanks playfullotter.

I hope he finds a job, unfortunately this Administration is doing everything it can to turn us into a 3rd world toilet.

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: An expirement - 12/18/2013 1:34:21 PM   
iaminigo


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/3/2013
Status: offline 		Futuristic Santa, please bring me one of these:


(in reply to Paladin9)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: An expirement - 12/18/2013 2:00:42 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Futuristic Santa, bring me one of THESE...






Yeah, yeah, I know that as a robot she's out to destroy humanity, but I've got a few tricks up my sleeve...

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by MasterCaneman -- 12/18/2013 2:01:25 PM >

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to iaminigo)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: An expirement - 12/18/2013 2:32:48 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Paladin9
As for the lottery, you have a better chance of getting hit by lightening TWICE than winning the lottery. As for the asteroid or comet odds, I didn't know that , thanks playfullotter.

Dontcha know lightning always strikes at least twice at the same spot - never just the once??

(in reply to Paladin9)
Profile   Post #: 35
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