Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Why so rude?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Why so rude? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 9:49:10 AM   
DeadlyReign


Posts: 15
Joined: 4/26/2013
Status: offline 		Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message? I mean, you send someone a message, they read it, and then they never reply. Perhaps I'm just a little old school, but that's just rude. I mean, if a person goes through all that time to introduce themselves and leave you a message saying they are interested in talking to you, the least you could do is a friendly rejection. Ignoring someone just seems more...childish.

Perhaps its just me who's experienced this, but I think that the best thing to do when you're not interested in someone is just tell them right off. If they are mature, they will accept it and move on. If they aren't...well....that's what the report button is for...just saying.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 9:55:08 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign
Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message? I mean, you send someone a message, they read it, and then they never reply.

As a guy who has met a lot of women in real life here, I appreciate it when women don't write me back. I know that either they aren't interested, or they are swamped with other emails (or real life) so can't give me the attention I deserve. Either way, I don't have to spend as much time with my inbox.

Not that you asked for advice, but I'll give you some anyway. Value yourself more. If you do, women will be more likely to write you back. The less I cared about getting a response, the more responses I got.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 9:57:50 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Do you call up all those credit card companies that send you unsolicited ads in the mail? Why not? Isn't it rude for you not to reply?
Same here. Unsolicited emails are spam, plain and simple.

No response is a response.

Beyond that is the fact that the guys who whine about not getting responses to their masturbatory fantasies are the same ones who when told no, respond with insults and threat.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 9:59:12 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		OP, do you reply to every piece of junk mail that arrives in your mailbox at home? How about the spam that arrives in your personal email? Do you chat with the telemarketers who call you?

If you answered 'No' to any of those, then you have your answer. Women here receive dozens of messages. We can't possibly respond to all of them so we only reply to the ones that interest us. If you don't get a reply, just assume she wasn't interested and move on. No harm, no foul.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:01:49 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		It's not just this site - OKCupid released some stats a while ago and I'm sure their average reply rate was 32%. They worked out that certain things also greatly skewed the reply rate.

Now I dunno about OK cupid, but here men greatly outnumber women, meaning that women get a LOT of messages, which is part of the reason many don't reply. It's not (necessarily) about being rude, sometimes it's just not realistic to reply to a hundred messages with 'no thanks'.

It does suck, but don't take it personally. Like RedMagic said, if they are too busy (or too rude) to reply, they're not going to be what you're seeking.

Also - and I'm not saying you are doing this, but lots of people do - if guys send messages that show they haven't read the profile, and are blatantly not what they are seeking, they will often not bother to reply.

Some guys also respond with insults and threats when they get politely rejected. It only takes a few of those before people decide it's easier just not to reply.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:06:47 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
As a guy who has met a lot of women in real life here, I appreciate it when women don't write me back. I know that either they aren't interested, or they are swamped with other emails (or real life) so can't give me the attention I deserve. Either way, I don't have to spend as much time with my inbox.


Likewise. Why would I want to carry on in a conversation with someone who isn't interested in talking to me? Complete waste of everyone's time.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:15:20 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message?

Perhaps you're not writing anything that is worthy of a reply?

quote:

Perhaps I'm just a little old school, but that's just rude.

More or less rude than complaining about people who don't adhere to some arbitrary expectation on your part?

Tough call, that.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:19:38 AM   
LittleGirlHeart


Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline 		first of all, it doesn't make you look very manly and masculine basically stamping your feet and saying people need to reply to me if i email them, it's rude not to. It's in my opinion rude, to put expectations on people they have not agreed to have on them. Such as reply to any and all people, even just to say no when talked to.


Second of all , If I replied to every tom dick and harry that emailed me, even just a polite hi, or how are you doing. or didn't read my profile, so i clearly have no responcibility to answer their missives of are you seeking a dom, or wanna play, or some other bs, I'd never get anything else done.

Plus, there's the imature ones, who will not just quietly leave but then become a pest.

I am extremely clear in my profile what i am looking for and not looking for, and I still get people who're incapable of reading or didn't read, and want to get to know me better, an see if we click and they'd love to be my dom and yada yada, and it's basically just a copy and paste spam mail. because, if they had read my profile or comprehended a word i said, they'd know they're nothing even close to what i am looking for.

< Message edited by LittleGirlHeart -- 12/18/2013 10:20:52 AM >

_____________________________


We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:33:32 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		I agree with you in theory. The reason we have profiles on the other side is usually to meet people, so not responding to messages trying to initiate a meet doesn't make much sense. For those who aren't interested in meeting people on that side, a sentence to that effect at the top of their profile would (in theory) tell people not to message them asking to meet.

But that is "in theory". In reality, men often ignore what the woman's profile says and even if they don't fit, message her anyway. That is rude. So they get ignored. Other times the woman will respond politely with a no thanks and get a vicious reply to her courtesy. You'll find that lots of women, myself included, put our profiles on hide periodically to avoid this bullshit.

You may be paying the price for other men's lack of couth. If you read the profiles, send personal and pleasant messages to women who interest you and with whose criteria you fit, you will send fewer but higher quality messages and will get better results. Good luck.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:33:57 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message?


Your journals and profile are quite negative so I'm not surprised that women are going to worry that the negativity expressed by you may come back and bite
them in the ass for even responding. The fact that you already come to a forum to whine about people you don't even know is pretty telling when you combine
it with the negative journals.

Get your shit together, dude. Lose the negative space and maybe you'll win a few emails for your trubles.. or. .just keep whining about it and see how well that
works for you. Until and unless you are willing to figure out what part 'you' play in your destiny, things probably aren't going to get a whole lot better for you.






_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:35:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Additionally, just because you wrote it doesn't mean they read it. People set their mail filters so they don't get mail from any guys, or guys who aren't local, or are out of the age range they want.
Beyond that, we can hover over the message, decide from the first sentence that we don't want to read it and delete unread.
And some of us check the profile first and then delete anything that comes from someone we aren't compatible with. Doesn't matter if you think you really are compatible, if she feels you aren't - then you aren't.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LittleGirlHeart)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:39:48 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message?


It's just you.

Glad I could help!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:47:06 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline 		When you go to your mailbox to get your mail every day, do you respond to every letter you get?
Credit card companies think you should accept their offers of "0% until 2015", charities think you should donate, the local car dealer sent you a key to bring you in for a prize drawing to win a car.
All of these are begging for your attention, and some are very tempting, but do you respond to them?

No? ...and why is that?


quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadlyReign

Is it just me, or does it seem like that almost everyone on this site have a huge problem with a simple reply message? I mean, you send someone a message, they read it, and then they never reply. Perhaps I'm just a little old school, but that's just rude. I mean, if a person goes through all that time to introduce themselves and leave you a message saying they are interested in talking to you, the least you could do is a friendly rejection. Ignoring someone just seems more...childish.

Perhaps its just me who's experienced this, but I think that the best thing to do when you're not interested in someone is just tell them right off. If they are mature, they will accept it and move on. If they aren't...well....that's what the report button is for...just saying.


(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 10:49:19 AM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Do you call up all those credit card companies that send you unsolicited ads in the mail? Why not? Isn't it rude for you not to reply?
Same here. Unsolicited emails are spam, plain and simple.

That's like comparing apples and cranberries. Is there anyplace where you have posted that you are "actively seeking" credit card applications? Or sales fliers? Or any other kind of junk mail? No? That's what I thought. And THERE is the difference. MOST of the profiles on the other side have an "actively seeking" list. That is an invitation to send responses to that person. Now, I'll agree that many guys probably don't read the profiles. And I'll agree that there are probably many guys that are going to write simply because they like the picture(s) or some other dumb reason. And I'll agree that those don't deserve a response. But there are also a lot of guys that do read the profiles, do think there are interests in common, and do take the time to write out a polite, informative letter, and it is rude to not at least say, "No thanks" to acknowledge their effort. When you don't, that just prompts those that normally would and do write decent responses to go to the one-liners next time. After all, why waste the time on a full response when you are just going to be ignored?


No response is a response.

Bullshit. No response is no response. Period. And it IS rude.

Beyond that is the fact that the guys who whine about not getting responses to their masturbatory fantasies are the same ones who when told no, respond with insults and threat.

I've seen the excuse that many times those that are rejected then reply with insulting, hurtful retorts. If you are really concerned about that happening, and you are going to "block and delete" anyway, how much harder would it be to send a quick "No thanks", just to be polite, THEN block and delete?


By not responding in some way, even to simply acknowledge that you received and read someones message, you are actually helping to create a lot of the problem that you complain about. When someone takes 30 minutes to an hour to write out a thoughtful, informative letter to you, and you simply ignore them, it gives them a "what's the use" attitude and they will join the ranks of those that just write one-liners next time.


_____________________________

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 11:05:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't think I've ever gotten a cold email that obviously showed the writer had read my profile and spent 5 minutes of thought on it. Let alone 30.

If I had, then I would have responded to that rara avis with a polite rejection.

But you misunderstand, the only times I have been attacked and threatened were when I did say thanks but no thanks. I've never received a death threat from not responding.

By not engaging, I don't trip that trigger in someone who then spent half an hour thoughtfully describing how he proposed to kill me with a knife. Which was sufficiently unpleasant once that I do not propose to risk repeating the experience.

Your analogy is flawed. It's like saying if a person just sat down with their stalker and talked calmly, they could end up friends. We know that's not true. The more interaction, the more people find rejection to be unacceptable. Go ask a cop if you don't believe me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 11:13:56 AM   
FelineRanger


Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
Status: offline 		What's wrong with simply saying to yourself, "It's her or his loss" and moving on?

_____________________________

Bill

(in reply to DeadlyReign)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 11:20:33 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		When someone takes the time to write a thoughtful email, I respond, even though 99% of the time it's to say no thanks.

I actually responded to someone earlier today who is in NJ, and thus far out of my location parameters. But he sent something humorous that reminded me of my childhood.

I appreciate humor, so I responded.

The OP needs to get his head around the fact that no response *is* a response. Expecting females to respond to all the message they get here is like expecting them to respond to all the Viagra ads that used to be so common, or some other form of spam.

That's right, if you can't form a thoughtful approach, your email is SPAM. Deal with it.

_____________________________



(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 11:22:46 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		OP, I have something of a different method. I pulled this directly from My profile.

quote:

I'm not inclined to interact with those who are from the personals side of CM. If you are not local, not from the forums, or someone that I haven't already met, and you send Me email, please do not expect a pleasant response.


In My view, I consider this a disclaimer. I've stated quite clearly who I will not respond to if I receive their emails. If you (general you) have ignored that warning and sent Me a message anyway, why should the onus be on Me to repeat Myself? I included that in My profile to save My time and yours. Is it still My fault when people ignore it?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 11:25:55 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline 		When someone writes to Me from California or even New York saying they want to serve Me, what are the chances of us ever meeting? I mean, REALLY.
My profile CLEARLY states what I'm into, and what type of submissive I'm seeking. Anyone who doesn't qualify would be better off investing their efforts
on approaching someone they CAN Serve, instead of wasting the time of those of us who are serious.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I agree with you in theory. The reason we have profiles on the other side is usually to meet people, so not responding to messages trying to initiate a meet doesn't make much sense. For those who aren't interested in meeting people on that side, a sentence to that effect at the top of their profile would (in theory) tell people not to message them asking to meet.

But that is "in theory". In reality, men often ignore what the woman's profile says and even if they don't fit, message her anyway. That is rude. So they get ignored. Other times the woman will respond politely with a no thanks and get a vicious reply to her courtesy. You'll find that lots of women, myself included, put our profiles on hide periodically to avoid this bullshit.

You may be paying the price for other men's lack of couth. If you read the profiles, send personal and pleasant messages to women who interest you and with whose criteria you fit, you will send fewer but higher quality messages and will get better results. Good luck.


(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why so rude? - 12/18/2013 11:39:27 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003



Bullshit. No response is no response. Period. And it IS rude.




A fine example of a polite response.

Thanks for posting.


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Why so rude? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.113