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Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 8:15:20 AM   
silkNsteel


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline 		It has been a long month. 

I was in my garden tending my roses when there was a knock on my door. A gentleman from another country greeted me politely and said he was interested in being friends. I thought to myself, a long distance pen pal could be fun and learning about another country is always good so we began chatting. Several communications about the weather, time zones and roses later, he asks if I wear panties… Strange turn in the conversation I thought to myself. Then he says “wear white silky for me! U look sexy!”  Understandably a bit confused I ask him what he is talking about and he replies “plz!” and continues to say “u show me panties on cam and be sexy!”. I show him the door instead and hurry to spray repellant on my roses in case it was contagious.

Almost a week passes before I hear another knock and find a gentleman waiting to talk with me. He greets me politely before saying “cam now slave! Obey me!”  I quickly slam the door in his face and lock it.

A few days later another gentleman knocks interested in my friendship. We enjoyed several short chats before he asked me to pluck my eyebrows and let him watch on cam…  I sigh sadly as I bolt the door for the night.

A week passes quietly before another knock on the door. I open it cautiously to another foreign gentleman who announces that he loves dogs! Well I always enjoy chatting with another dog lover and we start sharing stories. The conversation took a sharp left turn when he asked me if I had dirty feet and if he could see them… I quickly installed another deadbolt on the door.

I enjoyed almost a week and a half of peace before there was another knock on the door. I was relieved to see a woman who said she was interested in being friends. I was just beginning to relax when she asked me if I enjoyed the company of other women. When I replied that I have friends of both sexes she laughed harshly and replied “No more contact with dirty men! You will serve only me now slave!”  I quickly lock all the deadbolts behind her.  Waiting until she is gone I then check the door and front of the house for some sort of explanation of why these people cant see the sign saying “Friends only”.

Yes it has been a very long month indeed, however the roses are blooming nicely despite all the idiot repellant I have been forced to use around the house. 

Thank you for listening to my silly rant. I feel better now.
*smiles and waves as she goes back to her garden *
silk
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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 8:21:31 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		LOL.  Just because people can read doesn't mean they do.  And sometimes they really can't.  If you put something blatant and shockingly blunt on the heading of your profile, they tend to leave you alone.  It's working for me.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to silkNsteel)
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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 8:25:23 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Seems you are referring to the collarme profile ?

Actually I was in doubt as to whether to click "friends only". I do want friends only but I am also looking for more, but not with just anyone.

Actually I have dirty feet, and I am not putting on any shoes until the beer runs out.

T

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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 9:18:58 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		why would u give out ur address?   stop given that out.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 12:10:54 PM   
silkNsteel


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline 		*THWAPS pahunkboy upside the head and rolls her eyes in disgust*


Please look up the word "metaphor"  and explore the concept.

Of course I didnt give out my address!!  Although, the dogs would have made chasing them off ever so much more fun.

silk

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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 12:17:48 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I never walk with my nuts out.  You know, something could bump into them.  I only let the nuts out in the comfort and safety of a private room.

(in reply to silkNsteel)
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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 1:19:01 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Tooo Funnny!!!
Guess I'll go peak out my door and see what Nut just knocked.



_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 3:04:59 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I never walk with my nuts out.  You know, something could bump into them.  I only let the nuts out in the comfort and safety of a private room.


Now that sounded like LROD...
You're slipping LaM!  *W*

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 3:45:10 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		My standard reply is this:

Insure you wash your feet and take a picture of you spraying tinactin on them and put it in your profile, these pervies don't like clean feet.

This let's 'em know you ain't into podiatry.

White Panties?  If they ain't asking you to cam in the fire engine red ones, that should be a clue they are a wannabe.

Ron

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 7/4/2006 3:47:05 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 8:23:37 PM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline 		knocks on the op's door, "Good evening madam, Would you be interested in trying out our new economy sized troll-away-spray?"

_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/4/2006 10:19:12 PM   
silkNsteel


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline 		You're right Ron, my first clue should have been the "virginal white" panties hehehehe.

hmmmmm  is that spray safe for dogs and roses?  lol After the past month I just might need some. Usually I manage to stay polite and laugh it off. I think the continuous barrage last month just wore me down. Either that or I need better drugs!

silk

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Who let the nuts out? - 7/5/2006 8:41:35 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Rule of thumb in Auatralia, Public Servants (they work in Government departments) usually will never read signs or noitices using the excuse that they have to read official notices or signs at wotk and thus blank them out when not in a work environment.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to silkNsteel)
Profile   Post #: 12
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