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cloudboy -> RE: scared of fantasy (7/7/2006 5:31:17 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slavejali
Master just read this thread and he told me I have to apologise. He told me to paste what he typed to me. (So here it is, we communicate through typing a lot of the times as he is deaf).
eric2004office: ok..you will post and apologize for being judgemental
eric2004office: theres no point in saying anything else because your opinion on the subject is obvious
jali2005office: yes Master
eric2004office: you should know better than to judge anyone..
eric2004office: so...do it...now and you best be gracious
jali2005office: yes Master
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So I apologise and I dont know how to be graceful right now, and I didnt mean to be judgemental, this subject just hooks me into something and I react to it strongly and I should have a better grip on myself. I hope everything works out between you two MzS. I'm happy you are happy with him.
My Mistress and I have been discussing this apology for some time and taking a rather keen interest in slavejali's plight. Last night, I even went to bed thinking of diapers and how they might actually be incorporated into D/S play in some sort of twisted, fun, adult way. I got mildly hard thinking about various scenarios, none of which involved a crib or age regression (if you must know.)
In my thoughts, I came to one firm conclusion about diapers, which is that they would certainly put a boy in his place. Frankly, wearing them would be quite a submissive act indeed. It would also be an act tough to live down, which is not to say living down a spanking or a collar or some such other submissive act would be easy before a vanilla audience --- but diapers force you to live down before even the BDSM crowd. They put one in the minority of the minority. So, I have concluded there is bravery, depravity, submission, subjugation, humility, and humiliation in diapers. There’s just no way around it. But this is a digression, so I must digress even further and go on and talk about myself.
If everyone must know, which of course no one gives a damn, I have been having a tough time lately. Backward-poly-from-marriage is no easy trick, and neither is the transition from invisible poly to transparent poly. If I was to advise the gallery, I would say these steps are akin to entering hazardous waters or trying to sail around the Cape of Good hope in an old and somewhat rickety sailboat designed for calmer seas.
Do you want to really know what makes poly work? It’s thinking about OTHER PEOPLE. Do you want to know what most people think about most? Themselves. See the rub? (It is my own separate difficulties which make me feel kinship for slavejali here, hence the digression.)
Anyway, back to slavejali, angst, punishment, contrition, apologies, and diapers. I just read something that I thought shed some light on her problem. Here it is:
"One trouble with the genre of insult is that it makes for wasteful digressions in a writer's career and is the antithesis of real worthy writing itself. The aim of real writing is to make lives larger, more alert, and with luck, happier. Attack writing is personal and seeks to do personal injury; it shrivels up everything it touches by going for the nose.
And it creates a false sense of accomplishment. Friends of an attacker will always rush to congratulate him on the meanness of his attack, because they get a two-fer. One writer has been belittled, and another has looked like a jackass doing it."
--Roger Rosenblatt
Maybe this is why slavejali's Master was distressed.
In her defense, though, I do think a bit of edge, honestly, and gut reaction is founded on a MB, for without that we might devolve into PC agreement, faux support, and non comprehensive understanding of each other and what we are up to ---which would be too sickly sweet for my tastes and a travesty (the mods would lose their jobs or fall asleep on their jobs like the Maytag repairman.)
Regardless of the “rights” and “wrongs,” I did like the ideal enunciated above about "real writing."
Also, in slavejali's defense (again), I proffer yet another quote,
"Pursue virtue, but don't sweat it. The pursuit alone is sufficient to establish your qualities, and if you fail once in a while, your guilt will remind you of the right path you didn't take."
--Roger Rosenblatt
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