quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Nah, I just find that most of the people here are immature, unrealistic fanatics that havnt been able to connect the two world together.

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I do see an over romantic attitude to BDSM - although in most cases this occurs in Ds relationships as far as my experience goes.  Again, I will state I am an incredibly romantic person, but some of the romance one sees and hears about just seems to make romance in a relationship empty in some respects because its romance, for the sake of it, not for the sensation it can produce. 

 

I prefere to see someone as they are - as well as realising the possibilities evolution will cause within the relationship.  I do not think there is harm in seeing the potential in someone, just as long as it's not forced upon them.

 

Peace and Rapture

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
Ever had issues with this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I do see an over romantic attitude to BDSM - although in most cases this occurs in Ds relationships as far as my experience goes.  Again, I will state I am an incredibly romantic person, but some of the romance one sees and hears about just seems to make romance in a relationship empty in some respects because its romance, for the sake of it, not for the sensation it can produce. 

 

I prefere to see someone as they are - as well as realising the possibilities evolution will cause within the relationship.  I do not think there is harm in seeing the potential in someone, just as long as it's not forced upon them.

 

Peace and Rapture

Romance grows from long term intimacy.

It doesn't come in a cereal box.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I feel that a lot of people seeking relationships have this issue-they only see what they want to see,comparing it to some artificial internal construct.

I try to avoid this, it gets me in trouble-when I see how wrong I was in even building a construct. I want to see who someone is, not what I'd like them to be.

Ever had issues with this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Its about losing grip with reality for sure.

They want to belive in some kind of kinky magical world that is so utterly perfect, but all they're doing is romantasizing something that isnt what they think it is. They watch far too much TV, read too many books.

People cant decipher fact from fiction anymore.
They just try and belive what they want to, unfortunantly it can be detrimental to social evolution.
Mainly because the only place that world really exists is online, so they turn into shut ins, trying to get their kicks on sites like this, instead of actually interacting with the world thats already around them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I feel that a lot of people seeking relationships have this issue-they only see what they want to see,comparing it to some artificial internal construct.

I try to avoid this, it gets me in trouble-when I see how wrong I was in even building a construct. I want to see who someone is, not what I'd like them to be.

Ever had issues with this?

As a human and a pastoral care provider, I've come to realize that people truly do see, hear, taste, smell, and feel (touch) things as they wish to sense them. It is an irrefuteable part of our existence that everything that we encounter is subject to the filter of our perceptions.

As a pastoral care provider, that is the -only- time that I dismiss my personal filters. My job, in pastoral care, is to use whatever tools I have at my disposal to be able to view the world through my clients' filters -- and then help him or her to adjust those filters to something that will allow him or her to function in the world. After 15 years of this, I came to an understanding about human perceptions that has given me a great gift -- it enabled me not only to understand the limitations of my own filters, but to understand and cherish that even those closest to me (and even those close to me who may share verbalizations of opinions close to my own) will see the world slightly differently than I do, and will highlight and dim different aspects of the world so that they can feel comfortable living there.

I have my rose-colored glasses, and I use them often. I enjoy seeing the world through a positive framework. At the same time, I am implicitly honest with myself about what my expectations are from this choice, as well as all of my other choices. I know that there will be things that I will miss, or will mis-interpret, and I am careful to consider what repercussions may arise because of my filters. Additionally, I don't expect others (even those who also say that they are "rose colored glasses" wearers) to see the world the way that I do.

I think that it is when we -ignore- the fact that each of us filters the world through our own screens, and when we expect others screens to be the same as ours and filter information the same way that we get into trouble.

ZWD

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Do you mean someone that "falls in love with love"? I think many many people do this out of immaturity, I have a time or two when I was much much younger. I would idealize the person I was dating and make them into what I wanted them to be instead of loving who they really were. That ain't love, that is infatuation.

I am still capable of some levels of infatuation, but not nearly as vunerable to it as I once was. I try to be brutally honest with myself because it makes me a happier person, and I know when I am starting to get to know someone I am into that there is a level of infatuation coloring what I see. That usually is very short lived these days. I find it much more rewarding to watch someone I am crazy about and see them how they are.... it is 10,000 times better than make believing who they are. If you see their goofiness, their faults, and their weaknesses (and we all have them), and you still like them anyways... that is when true love starts to develop, the other stuff feels great and makes us swoon, but it is what is is, and it isn't something to base a life on.

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ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

As a human and a pastoral care provider, I've come to realize that people truly do see, hear, taste, smell, and feel (touch) things as they wish to sense them. It is an irrefuteable part of our existence that everything that we encounter is subject to the filter of our perceptions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There are some levels of falling in love with love every time we fall for anyone. Scientists have researched the brain chemistry in love and found that technically we are temporarily mentally ill in some ways. We do not see reality the same as someone else does because of our brain chemistry. It is a wonderful feeling, the first rush of love, and if it wasn't for that rush most of us wouldn't commit probably...lol. It serves a purpose.

To me it becomes selfish in a sense when we will not accept who the person really is because it does not go with what we wanted.. ends up causing everyone a lot of pain if that is the case. Most of us have either hurt someone by doing this to them, or we have been hurt by it.