Someone kill me now... I have heard it all.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Someone kill me now... I have heard it all.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Someone kill me now... I have heard it all.

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/26/2013 6:53:51 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

Alright, I have heard it all.

It seems that the "grays" the cliche' alien creature that has been abducting people have been using humans as sex slaves for generations, at least according to two women on a show on Destination America.

Now considering that, according to abductees, the "grays" have no visible genitalia, and they are always nude.

A being with no genitalia indicates an artificial life form created just for exploration so the creator race is not endangered by zipping around the galaxy and running into something big, bad and uber ugly like the current incarnation of Mickey Roarke (WTF happened to him anyway?) crossed with a extremely ugly warthog.

Of course, this does not exclude artificial insemination, but these women claim that they carry the "child" for less than a couple of months, then the embryo is removed and placed in an artificial gestation chamber.

So evidently these aliens have not managed test tube fertilization, but have managed to figure out how to bring a fetus to term outside the body.

Also it seems that the "donors" of biological material arent all that bright. It is a wonder most of them actually survived childhood. The seem to be the "here hold my beer" types.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/27/2013 1:16:23 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

This is an easy one, those people are related to the people in the Church of Climatology.

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to jlf1961)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/27/2013 6:55:34 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

This is an easy one, those people are related to the people in the Church of Climatology.

Actually, climatology is a science, not a church.

What you are talking about is the climate change people. The problem is that if you trace the money sponsoring research to disprove climate change, you find all the money coming from people like the Koch brothers.

But I digress.

The majority of conspiracy theorists are conservatives, and also believe in UFO's and alien abductions. The liberals that are UFO believers tend to follow the "Aliens are our friends" theory, which is to say that when an Extraterrestrial life form does contact us, they will solve all our problems.

I tend to believe ET will solve our problems, by doing just what humans did with "primitive" civilizations, slavery, genocide and other friendly activities.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to popeye1250)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/27/2013 11:20:26 AM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline

So, what I hear you telling me is, THE ALIENS are so advanced they forgot to have sex. Or at least bring it with 'em. But they haven't lost interest. So they figured out a way to get hold of some dimwitted monkeys of the sort you wouldn't trust running around your flying saucer. But who can be counted upon to have sex with anything that doesn't move and most things that do.

Okay. I got that part. What's this about Mickey Rourke inseminating a crossdressing warthog?

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to jlf1961)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/27/2013 5:45:03 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

The majority of conspiracy theorists are conservatives, and also believe in UFO's and alien abductions. The liberals that are UFO believers tend to follow the "Aliens are our friends" theory, which is to say that when an Extraterrestrial life form does contact us, they will solve all our problems.

I tend to believe ET will solve our problems, by doing just what humans did with "primitive" civilizations, slavery, genocide and other friendly activities.

How wrong you are. Liberal conspiracy theorists tend to believe in things like the Bilderbergers and the Illuminati - rich people with long term plans taking over the world.

Someone related to me went on a protest march in Washington, D.C. He came back later that night and insisted on telling me that he knew, KNEW, that the government was spying on them with dragonfly shaped aerial microphones. THEY WERE SPYING ON US!

Three things wrong with that, right off the top of my head (and I had been drinking.)

1) They were there TO BE SEEN! That's why they were protesting in the first place. What was there to spy on?
2) Why use such complicated measures when they were in D.C., at the frelling street the Capitol building is on? They would have just used cameras on all of those buildings they were passing.
3) He was in electrical engineering in college at the time. A dragonfly device would not have the battery power to sustain flight for more than a few seconds. He should have known that from his studies if he wasn't too busy protesting.

Answer to all of those? He was smoking something that he shouldn't have been. And a lot of it.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/27/2013 8:04:53 PM

Darkfeather

Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

Dude, you obviously missed the whole Anal Probe era of alien abductions...

(in reply to jlf1961)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/28/2013 7:24:39 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

I sometimes wonder if the alien abductees are a post 1950s interpretation of incidents that formerly would be classed as incubi or demonic visitations.

Now, I don't believe this is true but, dang, it sounds like the making of a great "B" movie horror flick.

(in reply to Darkfeather)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/28/2013 9:58:20 AM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

You aren't far off. People used to report sightings of angels or demons in much the same way that people are now claiming alien abductions.

The number of reports is about equal (considering population expansion) but they have switched from angels to aliens post Roswell.

(in reply to MercTech)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/28/2013 10:27:31 AM

FelineRanger

Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
Status: offline

If any of the other sentient races in this galaxy have come by, they decided Homo Sapien was too stupid to deal with and kept on truckin'.

_____________________________

Bill

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Someone kill me now... I have heard it all. - 12/30/2013 9:47:38 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

I remember a good cartoon in a scifi mag, way back when, with teenage aliens being dragged by the odd appendage and being lambasted for "joyriding in the aboriginal preserve".... could this be our alien sitings? So many of the descriptions seem like a sadistic little kid harassing the animals.

(in reply to FelineRanger)

Profile

Post #: 10