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Questions that really bug me.... - 12/27/2013 7:07:16 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		1) If a man is cheating on his wife and has a mistress, is he secretly seeing a dominatrix?

2) Where do the socks go that disappear in the dryer?

3) How do you know if it is the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning, or just the prologue?

4) Why do normally intelligent women go jogging in shorts and halter top running shirt when the outside temp is below 32 degrees?

5) If we are all waiting for our ship to come in, who is running the ships?

6) If Pi are square, why are pie pans round?

7) If the Brits call saltines biscuits, what do they call biscuits?

8) Why dont babies come with instruction manuals?

9) Why dont you look a gift horse in the mouth, dont you want to know the condition of its teeth?

10) Why the hell do we feel like we are falling in our sleep to wake up laying flat on the bed with dogs looking at you like you crazy?

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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 12/27/2013 7:57:19 AM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		9) Why don't we look a gift horse in the mouth?

Because it's rude. You can tell the age of a horse by looking at its teeth. And complaining because they gave you an 8 year old horse instead of a 5 is just rude.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 12/27/2013 11:37:22 AM   
MasterG2kTR


Posts: 6677
Joined: 8/7/2004
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline 		I think I can field a couple of these for you....

2) They hook up with the match to the single shoes you see lying on the side of the road

4) They like to show off their nipples (which you wouldn't notice if it were 75 degrees)

6) Because a pie by itself is not a square meal (duh!!)

10) For the same reason we laugh at the dog when they are running in their sleep (lying down of course)


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but three rights make a left
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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 12/27/2013 2:32:59 PM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		7. Aussies (descended from a lotta brit's) call saltines crackers or SAO's (brand name, but a bit like calling all tissues kleenex), they call cookies biscuits and they call biscuits scones.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 12/27/2013 2:34:55 PM   
mnottertail


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Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		2) they dont disappear in the dryer, it is a diversion, they are with Jimmy Hoffa.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 12/27/2013 2:50:45 PM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		I think most of the people who should be running the ships are at the airport waiting to take a plane. A lot of the ships officers I met already had their heads in the clouds.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 12/28/2013 4:51:40 AM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		2) Where do the socks go that disappear in the dryer? Maybe this answers that question Jeff....




Attachment (1)

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 12/28/2013 9:13:51 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		1) Probably not. But if he was, it wouldn't be a secret. He'd be bragging about it every chance he got.

3) It's the epilogue.

8) They do, but the babies ingest them while in utero. That's where meconium comes from.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/1/2014 9:53:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The Man took the dryer apart a couple of months ago to repair it. No missing socks.
Some years ago I had to pump out the dry well where the washer empties into. No missing socks.

My explanation is now gremlins. Or thin air.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/1/2014 10:07:04 PM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		1.
No, he's seeing a paramour.
2.
Capistrano, where they get swallowed.
3.
Choose your own adventure
4.
endorphins & exhibition
5.
Bruce campbell
6.
Extra crust
7.
Cookies
8.
They do, it's microcoded in the dna of the placenta.
You just keep throwing it out or burying it.
9.
The anal aperture is way more "telling"
10.
Dogs are Mind control experts, or at least that's what they insist on.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/2/2014 7:00:06 AM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: punisher440

2) Where do the socks go that disappear in the dryer? Maybe this answers that question Jeff....




TY Punisher for the great laugh to start My day... and the mini continuation of the TW thread

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/2/2014 7:33:37 AM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		1. Nope he's just playing a board game and his wife's the Mistress, he's hoping for a punishment for cheating...

2. The dryer needs to eat and socks are bitesize

3. Check the letter

4. Well I work in Celsius so I think they'd be pretty smart... Though nothing gets people moving like an ice cube down their top so possibly the same idea there

5. Penguins

6. Because you can fit a square into any circle

7. I actually call them crackers, though despite being British I grew up in a different country. What do you call biscuits?

8. Because we wouldn't look at them anyway

9. A free horse is a free horse. Besides it might bite your nose

10. The dog had just finished dreaming you were feeding them giant steaks and thought you were an imposter

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/2/2014 7:46:57 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		I have another question

11) In the local wedding announcements, you get the groom's name, the bride's name and where it was held. So why do they announce celebrity weddings with all that and who made the dress, the bride's shoes, the groom's tux and who catered the reception?

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/2/2014 7:54:49 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Come on, they're celebrities. They think we care.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/2/2014 1:09:28 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Come on, they're celebrities. They think we care.


Can thou afford a Vera Wang wedding gown?

And what the hell makes a Vera Wang so expensive anyway? They use gold fabric? Or is the fabric woven by vestal virgins who are the daughters of Eros?

I mean hell, if you take the fancy stitching on the backs of wranglers, lees and levis, you have a plain pair of jeans you can buy at walmart. I got jeans that I bought at walmart 8 years ago that are faded, but no holes, still going strong.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/2/2014 1:38:53 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The Man took the dryer apart a couple of months ago to repair it. No missing socks.
Some years ago I had to pump out the dry well where the washer empties into. No missing socks.

My explanation is now gremlins. Or thin air.


The answer is quite simple. The dryer, being a machine with a circular metallic drum that rotates along a fixed plane perpendicular to the Earth's surface, interacts with the magnetic fields emanated by the electric motor and the static electricity of the tumbling clothes to open up a tiny event horizon at its nexus. Being smaller and lighter than say, a pair of jeans, socks are drawn into this vortex and sent into a parallel dimension. A dimension separated by just a momentary variation in the ethereal vibrations that quantify our own. A dimension overrun by socks. Socks everywhere, magically appearing every day and night.

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/3/2014 7:27:11 AM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Socks everywhere, magically appearing every day and night.

[with the Twilight Zone theme song playing in the background] Socks appearing out of no where? Hmmm...sounds like just another day on the boards on CM....

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RE: Questions that really bug me.... - 1/3/2014 8:00:03 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: punisher440


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Socks everywhere, magically appearing every day and night.

[with the Twilight Zone theme song playing in the background] Socks appearing out of no where? Hmmm...sounds like just another day on the boards on CM....


I thought I was the only one who noticed that, lol.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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