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if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind of criminal would you be?


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[Poll]

if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind of criminal would you be?


cat burglar
  5% (1)
safe cracker
  0% (0)
miami vice style kingpin
  11% (2)
hit man
  16% (3)
mad scientist
  22% (4)
computer hacker
  11% (2)
other (please explain)
  33% (6)


Total Votes : 18
(last vote on : 6/11/2014 7:40:24 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind of ... - 1/3/2014 5:09:37 PM   
HipPoindexter


Posts: 188
Joined: 12/20/2013
Status: offline 		i'd be a cat burglar like cary grant in to catch a thief, if the character had been played by woody allen instead

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/3/2014 5:14:55 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		Sorry to burst any bubbles but I'd rather be the "bit player"; the straight-laced police detective or private Dic who chases after the criminal. Think: Sam Spade (and I do a pretty good Humphrey Bogart).





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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/3/2014 5:27:40 PM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		Ernest Borgnine in 'The Wild Bunch'......what a way to bow out !!!

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/3/2014 5:50:30 PM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		I'd be the female Saint - or a dictator with lots of henchmen (and I wouldn't waste time telling the hero how I was going to kill him, I'd just get on with it).

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/3/2014 6:20:22 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Kingpin or no dice. They get the mansions, yachts, and hot chicks the hero has to either co-opt or rescue (or both). Fortunately, I've been reading up on this...Evil Overlord List. All I need is to work on my accent, get some dope threads, and an army of ugly minions who don't mind getting machine-gunned by the truckload to further my plans. Muah Hah Hah....

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 2:21:22 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd be the scheming femme fatale!!

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 6:06:05 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Kingpin or no dice. They get the mansions, yachts, and hot chicks the hero has to either co-opt or rescue (or both). Fortunately, I've been reading up on this...Evil Overlord List. All I need is to work on my accent, get some dope threads, and an army of ugly minions who don't mind getting machine-gunned by the truckload to further my plans. Muah Hah Hah....


MasterC, that's all very well, but you know it's only a matter of time before James Bond or Napoleon Solo comes along & caps your arse.

I'd rather be the mad scientist, because when my evil plans for world domination go tits up, I know the Yanks will take me in under Project Paperclip & I can live happily ever after in luxury .


Besides, I think I'd look rather good in a lab coat & rubber gloves!

Happy new year mate!

< Message edited by garyFLR -- 1/4/2014 6:12:48 AM >

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 6:10:33 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		Incidentally I can understand why no one voted to be a geeky computer hacker, but why doesn't anyone want to be a hitman? I think that would be really cool, if I wasn't a mad scientist.

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 6:12:15 AM   
HipPoindexter


Posts: 188
Joined: 12/20/2013
Status: offline 		@ gary getting in on the operation paperclip golden parachute is diabolically clever. when werner von braun called his memoirs "i aim at the stars" a british critic suggested he subtitle it "sometimes i hit london."

@hlen5 a valid choice. i didn't include it because i always forget the femme fatales are supposed to be villains. they're always my faves.

@caneman you also get the comically oversized cell phones and the white suits. and the candy colored mansion(s). this option looks better and better. oh and also whole roast pigs served to you at big parties you throw for yourself on your yacht.

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 6:28:19 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		I thought hein5 was a femme fatale !

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 6:42:56 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		I would be a mad scientist and breed giant mutant spiders to help my army take over the world.

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 7:10:25 AM   
sloguy02246


Posts: 534
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		Hit man:

Discretely in the background, planning, plotting, and then finally carrying out the mission and walking away unscathed and undetected as the police stand there without the first clue as to my identity.

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 7:13:08 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		jlf. As a mad scientist, I would invent a giant bath plug 'ole to flush your giant mutant spiders away!

Why does no one want to be a hitman though, any ideas?

I missed the previous posting, thanks sloguy .

< Message edited by garyFLR -- 1/4/2014 7:14:11 AM >

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 7:36:56 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		In the movies, the hitman is usually ordered disposed of to clean up any loose ends. Granted, in a crime movie, pretty much all of the criminals are disposable, but they tend to be somewhat more so. As in...

Minion: "Mr. Caneman, the assassin has reported he's made the hit."

Me: "Excellent. Take him to dinner and then deep-sea fishing afterward, BWAH-HAH-HAH!!! Now, wash one of the prettier hostages and have her sent to my quarters!!! BWAH-HAH-HAH!!!"

You see why I voted for 'kingpin'? All the others are simply tools at my disposal. BWAH-HAH-HAH!!!

I like this game.

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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 8:00:35 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		I'd be a master criminal, the kind who stays behind the scenes and employs hackers (good intelligence is essential), professional criminals, and the occasional hitman (only when necessary).

My job would be to plan the heists, fence the goods, and maintain gang 'loyalty' (see hitman, above).

Heists would include freeports (uber warehouses for the ultra-rich). Theses storehouses have art, coin, and other collections, kept tax free since technically the goods are in 'transit.'

Known for having the ultimate in security, only a really great gang could pull off a heist w/o getting caught. The rewards would so be worth it.


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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 8:58:06 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Based on my addiction to "Criminal Minds" lately, I think I'd like to be one of the rare female unsub's who do commit sex hate crimes, but only on adults who have committed hate crimes or violent crimes on those who don't deserve it, like homophobes, rapists, child molesters, etc. Just to be different and throw them off on their profiling for awhile.

Now that I have just frightened myself, I think I'll go watch Joel Osteen or a cooking show or something.



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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 9:00:30 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: garyFLR

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Kingpin or no dice. They get the mansions, yachts, and hot chicks the hero has to either co-opt or rescue (or both). Fortunately, I've been reading up on this...Evil Overlord List. All I need is to work on my accent, get some dope threads, and an army of ugly minions who don't mind getting machine-gunned by the truckload to further my plans. Muah Hah Hah....


MasterC, that's all very well, but you know it's only a matter of time before James Bond or Napoleon Solo comes along & caps your arse.

I'd rather be the mad scientist, because when my evil plans for world domination go tits up, I know the Yanks will take me in under Project Paperclip & I can live happily ever after in luxury .


Besides, I think I'd look rather good in a lab coat & rubber gloves!

Happy new year mate!



Or Ilya Kuliakin (sp?), but he's already on NCIS

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 9:19:46 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		Uh, I hate to rain on a fun parade, but I was just thinking...

Considering the varying senses of humor among the mods, can I safely say that the fact they have not gone into the Mad Scientist Super Villain business?


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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 10:32:09 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Oh man,I would so be Keyser Soze.

The behind the scenes mastermind,pulling all the strings,making the world dance to my tune.
Fuck yes-There's a reason I consider Machiavelli and Rasputin role models

< Message edited by Kana -- 1/4/2014 10:33:39 AM >

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RE: if you were going to be in a crime movie, what kind... - 1/4/2014 10:47:47 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: garyFLR

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Kingpin or no dice. They get the mansions, yachts, and hot chicks the hero has to either co-opt or rescue (or both). Fortunately, I've been reading up on this...Evil Overlord List. All I need is to work on my accent, get some dope threads, and an army of ugly minions who don't mind getting machine-gunned by the truckload to further my plans. Muah Hah Hah....


MasterC, that's all very well, but you know it's only a matter of time before James Bond or Napoleon Solo comes along & caps your arse.

I'd rather be the mad scientist, because when my evil plans for world domination go tits up, I know the Yanks will take me in under Project Paperclip & I can live happily ever after in luxury .


Besides, I think I'd look rather good in a lab coat & rubber gloves!

Happy new year mate!



Or Ilya Kuliakin (sp?), but he's already on NCIS


Oh, you fancy Ilya, do you ?


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